There is only one film where we can see Kate Beckinsale naked. Yes, you guessed correctly that it’s Uncovered. So here’s some things you may not know. There is still no blu ray release, and the only media in which the movie was available was DVD (and VHS, if you’re a real masochist). Up until recently, that is. Yes, Uncovered is now available from streaming services, and it is available in HD. The aspect ratio now sits at an absolutely bizarre 5:3, but if you can look past that, what we have is pretty much sort of kind of basically 1080p. I’ve also color corrected the holy hell out of this, so we should be getting maximum detail in this post.
I’m actually going to admit that for all my mastery of all things to do with celeb nudity in film and television, I’d never seen this film before today. I’ve known about it forever, of course. I remember squinting to the blurry messes that were the VHS caps on the internet back in the very early 00s, and then busting more than a few nuts off to the DVD caps when they made the scene, but I just never took the plunge to do the work myself. What I’d seen was just so low-detail that it didn’t seem like I could do any meaningful color correction to it. It goes without saying that when I heard that it was now streaming in HD, I was keen to make up for my past sloth.
The first time we see Kate Beckinsale nude in Uncovered – or indeed ever – is when her former professor is making out with her on a couch. He pulls her shirt up and sucks vigorously on her nipple. The actor in this scene, one Art Malik, officially has the best ice breaker at parties after this. “Raise your hand if you’ve been paid money to suck on Kate Beckinsale’s breast. What, only me?” She then sneezes on him and takes off. That is, the character from the film, not the people at the hypothetical party. Hay fever is always such a cock blocker.
The next time we see Kate Beckinsale topless is when she’s undressing for a shower but decides – only after getting naked, of course – to examine her painting again. We see a very nice frontal shot of her nude body for a surprisingly long amount of time. No quick flashes here. I mean, flashing, yes, but by no means quick. When she gets really close to the painting, the director decides to not rob us of any nudity and gives us another naked shot in the reflection of the glass. What a swell guy. Later in the film, there’s a quick shot of a black and white photo of Kate Beckinsale naked in bed. Finally, towards the end of the movie, there’s a post-sex scene where she’s perched on the arm of a sofa, completely naked. We see some sideboob for a while, then she turns to face the camera, gives us a bit of frontal, stands up, and walks past the camera.
All in all, this movie is an absolute treat now that it’s out in HD. And by the way, to everyone who said that it sucks when you take out the nudity, I actually liked it. It wasn’t Shakespeare, but frankly, it’s all the better for it. A bit of 90s camp never hurt anyone. Also, if any of you fappers have a hairy armpit fetish, prepare to blow your loads even harder; that’s all I’m going to say. I’m going to leave you with one last parting piece of trivia before you all fap yourselves to death. Some of you may challenge that this is the only film in which Kate Beckinsale has been naked. You’d still be wrong. If you’re going to bring up Haunted, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it has been confirmed that that was a body double. The sooner we can make peace with that, the sooner we can all spunk ourselves dry to the real Kate Beckinsale nude scene in the caps below.
