Ass Nude

Saoirse Ronan Naked – Foe – 4K Stream

I too thought the day would never come in which we’d get a proper look at Saoirse Ronan naked… and it still hasn’t. Yes, her nude scenes in Foe are significantly more graphic than her nude scenes with Kate Winslet in Ammonite, but even with the recent VOD release – and in 4K, at that – the Irish actress’ boobs remain either in shadow or painfully far away. Who doesn’t like a good pixel hunt, though, right?

And if you’re here to see Saoirse Ronan’s ass, I’m just gonna straight up direct you to Ammonite for that. Although she does moon the camera in one scene, only the top of her butt crack isn’t enshrouded by the pitch black of darkness. You’d be willing to put up with that? Sure, but then there’s the fact that the flash of ass lasts only a handful of frames – a literal fraction of a second – and is out of focus. Tremendous. I’m not bitter. OK, I am a little bit. I just really thought this was going to be the nude scene we’ve all been waiting for from Saoirse, but it seems like what we got sits somewhere on the border between true nudity and tease.

And speaking of tease, the amount of false starts I had watching Foe and getting ready to spunk over an amazing Saoirse Ronan nude scene that I thought had begun, only to get literally zero visible nudity, is off the charts. There are a bunch of shower scenes. Tons of them. All of them are well lit. All of them are close-up. But alas, a bit too close. In not a single shower scene do either of Saoirse’s nipples peek above the bottom of the screen. Savagery. Pure savagery.

But all that said, we do technically see Saoirse Ronan topless in Foe, and multiple times. Her face is even in the same shot in a lot of these, which is more than we can say for the only other time she’s gotten naked on screen. Of course I expected more, and it goes without saying that I wanted more, but my thirst for celeb nudity is rarely quenched, and against the backdrop of the wretched drought of nude scenes in film and television that has been affecting Hollywood over the 2010s and 2020s, this isn’t too bad a haul. Factor in that we’re talking about an actress who rarely gets naked in her movies, and suddenly this whole thing’s looking quite rosy after all.

And I know a lot of you guys have been after a Saoirse Ronan sex scene in which you don’t have to imagine that you’ve transitioned for the sake of a self-insert, so now you can imagine that you’re Paul Mescal instead. Or the modesty patch she wears on her pussy during one of the sex scenes. Whatever. Do what you gotta do. Here’s the 4K, UltraHD gallery of caps featuring all of the shots of Saoirse Ronan naked in Foe to help you along.

Heather Graham Naked – Suitable Flesh – 4K Stream

Blessed are the believers, for we get to see the gorgeous Heather Graham naked yet again. At a regal 53 years old, the Wisconsin beauty has a brand new nude scene out, this time in Shudder’s adaptation of Lovecraft’s The Thing on the Doorstep, Suitable Flesh. She’s still got it. Oh yes, she’s still got it. Sure, we’ve seen a million Heather Graham nude scenes, including her iconic nudity in Boogie Nights and Killing Me Softly, but every fapper knows that there’s no such thing as enough nudity in film and television, and given the wretched drought we’ve faced the past few years, I am absolutely over the moon at all of the A-listers getting naked on screen again this year.

The first nudity in the film is a Heather Graham sex scene in which she’s supposed to be bottomless. I say “supposed to” because not only is she still wearing a top during sex (boooo!), but if you look carefully enough, you’ll notice that she seems to be wearing modesty panties as well. I’ll be honest – at this point, I thought this movie was going to be a dud for nudity. The next nude scene comes in at a bit after 50 minutes in. In it, the character of Elizabeth Derby (kind of) is examining her breasts, as one does in this situation. “She” opens her gown and flashes each tit, one after the other. No face in the shot, though. Fortunately this gets corrected about 6 minutes later, when we get the look at Heather Graham naked that we were all waiting for – face and right boob in the same shot… multiple times!

Yes, the nudity is scant in the grand scheme of things, but it is there, and if you can’t be bothered to scrub through yourself, then I’ll save you the trouble. Enjoy the gallery of Heather Graham nude in Suitable Flesh below.

Emma Stone Nude – Poor Things – Preview

It’s Emma Stone nude in Poor Things. Yes, we’ve all been waiting for this since the news broke. In fact, we’ve all been waiting for a proper Emma Stone nude scene ever since she did her tease of a boob flash in The Favorite (or is it The Favourite?). Either way, the time has come. Mad respect to the living legend u/Honest_Persimmon_674 for this footage. If you’re ever ’round my parts, buddy, I’m buying you a beer.

If the videos aren’t loading, you may have to hit me up on Twitter/X.

And, of course, it wouldn’t be the Faptuary without a gallery. Also, is that a natural bush I’m seeing on Emma Stone’s pussy? Just sayin’, it doesn’t look like a merkin.

Elizabeth Olsen Naked – Love & Death – HD Stream

We finally got to see Elizabeth Olsen naked in Love & Death. Lord knows it took forever. Anyone who has been following the in-progress status report for the HBO Max miniseries will know that it didn’t really set us off to an inspiring start. In fact, those of you who have been keeping track very closely will have noticed that I didn’t even bother to do an update for the fourth episode. For a look behind the curtain, I didn’t even watch it when it came out. I waited for buzz, which never came.

But the buzz did come this week. Oh yes, it came. Rumors swirling. Rumors that Elizabeth Olsen had done another nude scene. We hadn’t seen Elizabeth Olsen nude since her sex scene in Oldboy an entire decade ago, and before that, we of course had the incredible-yet-tame nude scenes from Martha Marcy May Marlene. Then nothing for 10 painful years.

But we’re back with a brand new and genuine Elizabeth Olsen nude scene in the miniseries about infamous murderess Candy Montgomery, Love & Death. And what’s more, I get to make use of my favorite women-in-prison tag since the scene plays out with our Scarlett Witch getting arrested, forcibly strip searched in jail, and then forced to shower while a guard stands by. Insta-boner. It may not be the most graphic nude scene around, but we get a nice bit of sideboob, and all the ass men amongst you will also be delighted. Enjoy the gallery of Elizabeth Olsen naked in Love & Death below.

Do we see Elizabeth Olsen nude in Love & Death?

Since the show was announced for HBO Max, people have been waiting to see whether we’ll get to enjoy gawking at Elizabeth Olsen nude in Love & Death. So what’s the answer? Well, as I write, the first 3 episodes of the series are out, and have we seen Elizabeth Olsen naked in those? Let’s just say it’s no old school HBO.

But there are still episodes to come, and there may be way more graphic nudity in those. In fact, if you scroll down to the bottom of this post, I may already have covered some such nude scene, since that’s what I’ll be doing every week as a new episode comes out. So don’t be too anxious.

If you really need a quick fix, though, just CLICK HERE to skip straight to the epic Elizabeth Olsen nude scenes in Martha Marcy May Marlene!

Let’s start with episode 1: The Huntress

Our girl shaves her legs in the bathtub and then sorts herself out in a mirror wrapped only in a towel. Is there a nipslip or a hint of areola during the bath scene?

A fully clothed sex scene. How exceptionally lame. That said, Elizabeth Olsen’s orgasm faces are always a treat.

Good Lord, that is one hell of a downblouse. Lizzie seems to love those. We can’t forget the deep downblouse scene she did in Martha Marcy May Marlene. Unfortunately, she’s wearing a bra this time.

Shower scene? Be still, my heart! So, anyone catch any nip slips or at least areola slips?

Episode 2: Encounters straight up starts with a shower scene…

…but is it quite as gratuitous as we would have wanted?

There must have been at least one or two nip slips from Elizabeth Olsen in that one, right? At least a bit of areola, right? Right? Right!?

Another clothed sex scene followed by some more co-ed shower teasing.

A short sex scene with Elizabeth Olsen riding cowgirl and having a rather vocal orgasm. Yes, she’s clothed, because that’s apparently how it’s done in Texas. Boooo.

Her boobs look great in this scene. Would I have preferred to be able to see a bit more of them? Sure, but this is what we’re dealing with now with nu-HBO.

In this scene, I like to imagine Elizabeth Olsen is taking it up the dumper, and I’m not even into anal. Gotta spice these tame lewds up somehow, though.

That right there would have been one of the greatest nude scenes of the 2020s if Elizabeth Olsen was actually naked for it. Cruel world that we live in.

Episode 3: Stepping Stone had no nudity whatsoever. OK, that’s nothing new, but it didn’t even have any lewd scenes.

So what does everyone think? Are we gonna get a better shot of Elizabeth Olsen naked before the series ends?

I’ll be updating the situation right here, adding new info to the end of this post, so check back for updates.

UPDATE – May 11

REAL NUDE SCENE ALERT!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

I REPEAT – THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

More to come momentarily.