Ass Nude - Page 2

Do we see Elizabeth Olsen nude in Love & Death?

Since the show was announced for HBO Max, people have been waiting to see whether we’ll get to enjoy gawking at Elizabeth Olsen nude in Love & Death. So what’s the answer? Well, as I write, the first 3 episodes of the series are out, and have we seen Elizabeth Olsen naked in those? Let’s just say it’s no old school HBO.

But there are still episodes to come, and there may be way more graphic nudity in those. In fact, if you scroll down to the bottom of this post, I may already have covered some such nude scene, since that’s what I’ll be doing every week as a new episode comes out. So don’t be too anxious.

If you really need a quick fix, though, just CLICK HERE to skip straight to the epic Elizabeth Olsen nude scenes in Martha Marcy May Marlene!

Let’s start with episode 1: The Huntress

Our girl shaves her legs in the bathtub and then sorts herself out in a mirror wrapped only in a towel. Is there a nipslip or a hint of areola during the bath scene?

A fully clothed sex scene. How exceptionally lame. That said, Elizabeth Olsen’s orgasm faces are always a treat.

Good Lord, that is one hell of a downblouse. Lizzie seems to love those. We can’t forget the deep downblouse scene she did in Martha Marcy May Marlene. Unfortunately, she’s wearing a bra this time.

Shower scene? Be still, my heart! So, anyone catch any nip slips or at least areola slips?

Episode 2: Encounters straight up starts with a shower scene…

…but is it quite as gratuitous as we would have wanted?

There must have been at least one or two nip slips from Elizabeth Olsen in that one, right? At least a bit of areola, right? Right? Right!?

Another clothed sex scene followed by some more co-ed shower teasing.

A short sex scene with Elizabeth Olsen riding cowgirl and having a rather vocal orgasm. Yes, she’s clothed, because that’s apparently how it’s done in Texas. Boooo.

Her boobs look great in this scene. Would I have preferred to be able to see a bit more of them? Sure, but this is what we’re dealing with now with nu-HBO.

In this scene, I like to imagine Elizabeth Olsen is taking it up the dumper, and I’m not even into anal. Gotta spice these tame lewds up somehow, though.

That right there would have been one of the greatest nude scenes of the 2020s if Elizabeth Olsen was actually naked for it. Cruel world that we live in.

Episode 3: Stepping Stone had no nudity whatsoever. OK, that’s nothing new, but it didn’t even have any lewd scenes.

So what does everyone think? Are we gonna get a better shot of Elizabeth Olsen naked before the series ends?

I’ll be updating the situation right here, adding new info to the end of this post, so check back for updates.

UPDATE – May 11

REAL NUDE SCENE ALERT!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

I REPEAT – THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

More to come momentarily.

More Nude Scenes – Introducing Quickshots

Fap to even more nude scenes – free, fast, plentiful, and easily accessible

I started trialling out nude scene quickshots half a week ago, and even though it’s early days, I’m quite happy with the process, results, and reception.

What are quickshots? Simply put, they’re videos of nude scenes that have been minimally edited.

Why do quickshots? Faptuary – both now and back then – has always had a philosophy of quality over quantity. This necessarily means sacrificing quantity, and as time and resources get tighter, that sacrifice becomes greater. Quickshots allow us to have our cake and eat it – to have both quality and quantity.

Why aren’t the quickshots on the home page? I’m not looking for a “rebrand” or a change in direction. Faptuary will continue to be primarily about original, never-before-seen content to give you the best version you can get of any given nude scene. Although the quickshots are home-brewed in their editing and therefore technically original, these edits will be too subtle for most people to notice and so their presence will be secondary.

What’s the catch? There is none. There has never been a catch. The videos are there, they’re not behind a paywall, there are no forced ads to watch through, there are no logins or registrations, there is nothing but videos of nude actresses in film and television.

So relax, like these fine ladies…

Karen Hassan Naked – Vikings – Blu ray

Seeing Karen Hassan naked in the infamous whipping scene must be the best thing to ever come out of the History Channel. Yes, I do mean that History Channel. Those who remember their series Vikings will probably remember that it had an exceptional amount of rather graphic nudity, all the way up to full frontal. Canadian television really is in a league of its own. We never got a Karen Hassan nude scene that included full frontal nudity, and in fact, we didn’t get too many of them from her as a whole, but what we did get made a lot of guys really, really happy.

For those who have been keeping up with the franchise, and I exclude myself from that, a sequel series – Vikings: Valhalla – got picked up by Netflix and aired its first season last year. I haven’t watched it, but from what I understand, even though it does have nude scenes, there are far fewer of them and they are less graphic and gratuitous compared to the ones in the original Vikings. There’s something mildly depressing about the fact that film and television nudity has become so objectionable in the 2020s that a History Channel production from less than a decade ago seems like a Jesus Franco film by comparison. Oh well, trends are cyclical, so here’s to hoping we go back to how things used to be at some point so that this era of 4K Ultra HD isn’t wasted exclusively on close-ups of rubber penises.

The first episode of Vikings in which we got to see Karen Hassan nude was the finale of Season 3, titled The Dead. This was the Belfast beauty’s third appearance on the show, having been introduced as the character Therese, the sister-lover (Lannister vibes, anyone?) of Roland. She then goes on to enter a false relationship with her brother’s rival, which she facilitates by engaging in his BDSM fetish and getting whipped with a cat o’ nine tails in his sex dungeon.

As said earlier, we don’t actually get to see the full frontal, but there is a great shot of Karen Hassan’s ass and sideboob, so it is implied (about as heavily as is visually possible) that she is indeed completely naked during Count Odo’s floggings of her. The bad news kicks in with the fact that we are only treated to two of these, and in the second one, she is almost fully dressed. I’m talking about the one that comes in during the sixth episode of the fourth season. Therese even asks him if he wants her to get undressed, but he declines, instead opting to simply pull the back of her dress up, exposing her ass for a bit of butt punishment.

Outside of the dungeon antics, we do get to see Karen Hassan topless once more, and it’s during a sex scene with her brother in the third episode of the fourth season. Unfortunately, the lighting in this scene is even more coy than in her nude scenes that are literally set in a windowless basement, so there’s no more than a few blurry flashes of nipple to fap to. All that said, if you’ve enjoyed the Northern Irish actress’ lewd scene in Hollyoaks – the one with Lynsey Nolan’s wet shirt – this is a huge step up. Considering Vikings contained the actress’ nude debut and her only nude scenes, given how much time has passed, it seems like we may not ever get to see Karen Hassan nude again, but at least we can enjoy all three of her newly color corrected scenes from that series below.

Perdita Weeks Naked – Flight of the Storks – Blu ray

In celebration of the recent resurrection of Magnum P.I., I’m happy to present a project I started a while back: the scenes featuring Perdita Weeks naked in Flight of the Storks. What’s the connection? None whatsoever. But our chances of seeing the Welsh actress nude in Magnum P.I. are about zero-to-none, so naturally, we must look elsewhere. As it happens, there is only one place to look. Yes, it’s one of those. The actress seems to drag the dreaded no-nudity policy wherever she goes and whatever she acts in, but there is one and only one feature in which we get to enjoy a Perdita Weeks nude scene, and it’s this one.

As for Magnum P.I., for those that haven’t heard some recent news, the show was cancelled by CBS after four very successful seasons. And for those who haven’t heard some slightly more recent news, it was picked up by NBC after its cancellation for a further two seasons. And for those who haven’t heard the most recent news, Season 5 of Magnum P.I. aired on NBC on Sunday, February 19. How much Perdita Weeks bikini footage it will give use to gawk at as her character Juliet Higgins galivants around the scenic locations of Hawaii, as MI6 operatives are known to do, we may never know.

What we do know, however, is that we can enjoy Perdita Weeks nude in Flight of the Storks, a film that seems to have slipped under quite a lot of folks’ radars. In that movie, she plays an Israeli… something. You know, I don’t actually remember what her role was. It seems like she appears for a bit, spends a few days having sex with the main character, and then disappears again. It’s like some benevolent deity knew that she’d never do a nude scene and decided to just bless us with one because we’ve all suffered too much in this cruel world already.

I mean, you would have thought we’d at least have gotten to see Perdita Weeks topless in The Tudors, right? Who the hell didn’t get naked in that. We got some Tamzin Merchant nude scenes there, which we recently discussed when we covered her two nude scenes in the first season of Carnival Row. We got to see Natalie Dormer nude in The Tudors as well, and for the very first time too. And yet nothing from our Cardiff girl.

I imagine the more-than-four-minute-long Perdita Weeks sex scene came as a surprise to people when Flight of the Storks came out back in 2013, but to be fair, it’s an even bigger surprise to us now in retrospect, given how it was preceded by a long era of no nudity and succeeded by the same. Weird. Weird, but not bad. Certainly better than nothing, which is likely what we’ll get from here on out, although I’m happy to be proven wrong in the years to come. Who knows, maybe Magnum P.I. will have a full episode of Juliet Higgins and Thomas Magnum fucking in some demented Hawaiian beach orgy. NBC have a reputation for graphic and gratuitous nudity, right? Until that fateful day happens, we can stick to enjoying Perdita Weeks nude in Flight of the Storks.

Alison Brie Naked – Somebody I Used to Know – 4K Stream

I didn’t realize that we were going to see Alison Brie naked in Somebody I Used to Know until the movie released today, and even then, I didn’t realize it was coming out until I started hearing all the buzz. Ironic for an actress who talks so much and in so many interviews about how she loves nudity, but we don’t really see bona fide (bonerfide? Have I made that crap joke before?) Alison Brie nude scenes that often. Everyone remembers the Hollywood-born Hollywood star’s nude debut in GLOW, which just about broke the internet. And naturally, she had more than one nude scene in that series’ run, so we had plenty to enjoy while it was coming.

Then we saw Alison Brie naked in Horse Girl. That was amazing because we got actual full frontal for the first time from her. This is also the part where I remind everyone that for reasons beyond my understanding, none of the coverage of that nude scene anywhere on the internet was of the 4K Ultra HD version, which was available on Netflix same as the others. That is, until I covered it right here. Don’t know why no one did the same in the two-and-a-half years between, but if you saw Alison Brie naked in her full frontal nude scene from Horse Girl in glorious 4K, and you didn’t see it in the movie itself, remember you saw it here first.

But all that said, the Alison Brie nude scenes in Somebody I Used to Know are the best she’s ever done in my opinion. Yeah, the full frontal that was actually filmed from the front when she walks into the crowded store in Horse Girl is deliciously graphic, but it’s also filmed at quite a distance, which necessarily means that a lot of detail is lost. I’m considering redoing the color correction on that one some day to see if I can pull out a bit more detail, but there are natural limitations to these things when an image is made up of lower quantities of pixels.

But when we got Alison Brie topless in Somebody I Used to Know, there were definitely no problems with regard to there being too few pixels. OK, sure, in her very first nude scene in the movie, she is quite far in the distance while streaking across a golf course. In fact, there’s a point where she does a handstand with her legs spread wide, hairy pussy (or merkin) in full view and facing the camera, and she’s so far away that it’s not even clear whether it’s really Alison or a body double. She more than makes up for it, though, in later nude scenes. I’m talking especially about the one right at the end of the movie, where she’s shooting a documentary inside a naturist camp/nudist colony.

We see Alison Brie’s tits in all their glory as she’s interviewing a completely naked woman while she herself is completely naked. She’s seated at first, but her up body takes up much of the screen, giving us a terrific view of her breasts in 4K. She then stands up briefly, flashing some sideboob and bush. Alison Brie has spoken about her nudism before, including once again with reference to this movie and this scene, so I suppose this isn’t out of character for her at all. What I’d really like to know is why the internet isn’t awash with photos from Alison Brie’s nudist days, but I suppose cameras aren’t really favored in settings like that. You know where cameras are favored, though? A film set. And thanks to that, we can enjoy this wonderful gallery of Alison Brie nude in Somebody I Used to Know.