Anyone who’s been fapping to nude scenes in film and television for a long time – or to be more specific, between 2012 and 2014 – will recognize the name of this site. With one difference: it used to be faptuary.net instead of .com.
Don’t bother checking the old domain. It’s currently being cybersquatted, and if anyone tries to direct you there, they’re not the real Fapsmith.
How do I know this? Because I am the real Fapsmith.
Yes, it’s true. I’ve come out of retirement. When I started the Faptuary back in the .net days, I did it because I was unsatisfied with the quality of nude scenes posted online. I knew better could be done, so I did my part to do so.
By the time I slowed down on that endeavor, the rest of the internet had caught up, and the Faptuary was but one among many. In fact, by 2014, the Faptuary was slipping into obsolescence with its inferior video delivery model. It’s funny how much can change in only two years.
I stopped working on it in 2014, and I let the hosting lapse in 2017.
In retrospect, this was a mistake. Not for my own sake, but for the internet’s. When I let the hosting lapse, traffic was still considerable. So even though I could see no purpose for a dinosaur like that, it’s clear that a lot of people around the world who wanted a good fap could.
I’m bringing back the Faptuary now because the accessibility and quality of celebrity nude scenes on the internet has regressed. The bitrate of the source material used has regressed, the effort put into color correction has regressed, the coverage of the scenes has regressed, and even though there are a million more sites doing it now, that is precisely one symptom of the problem rather than a rare positive – it’s become all about quantity over quality.
This is why I’ve donned my cape (that doubles as a fapping sock) to do a bit of uplifting in the celeb nudity fapping sphere, modernized my methods, integrated the skills I’ve improved over the past near-decade, and will hopefully leave a lot of fellas a lot more satisfied on their searches.
But that’s not what this page is about.
This page is about something mentioned earlier – that I hadn’t recognized the value, diminished though it was, of the original faptuary.net when I closed it down.
To atone for my sins, I’ll be painstakingly bringing it all back.
“How?” you ask. Easy. I’m a hoarder of cosmic proportions. I delete very little. All the original image and video files are still on one of my six million hard drives. Due to the difference in how the original video files were formatted (they’re longer and have sound), I’ll have to fiddle with a way to host them, but the plan is to have them integrated in the original posts eventually, though when that will be is anyone’s guess.
That said, the original posts with the original images (updated watermarks and color correction, of course) and the original cringe-inducing text (at least that hasn’t changed with the revival) will be making a return post-haste, not visible on the home page, but safely filed and easily found under the NET category.
I hope you enjoy the old posts as much as I enjoyed making them.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Below is a list of what’s been resurrected thus far:
- April 16, 2012: Emilia Clarke Nude – Game of Thrones: Fire and Blood – Blu ray
- April 17, 2012: Amber Heard Nude – The Informers – Blu ray
- April 19, 2012: Lauren Cohan Nude – Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj – DVD
- April 26, 2012: Sasha Grey Nude – Entourage: Hair – HD
- April 28, 2012: Jennifer Jason Leigh Nude – Single White Female – HD
- May 5, 2012: Sue Jones-Davies Nude – Monty Python: Life of Brian – Blu ray
- May 8, 2012: Nora Jane Noone Nude – The Magdalene Sisters – DVD
- June 12, 2012: Ashley Judd Nude – Norma Jean and Marilyn – DVD
- June 16, 2012: Emilia Clarke Nude – Game of Thrones: Winter is Coming – Blu ray
- July 10, 2012: Ali Cobrin Nude – American Reunion – Blu ray
- July 18, 2012: Halle Berry Nude – Swordfish – Blu ray
- August 2, 2012: Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams Nude – Brokeback Mountain – Blu ray
- August 11, 2012: Jennifer Aniston Nude – Wanderlust – Blu ray
- August 18, 2012: Nicky Whelan Nude – Hall Pass – Blu ray
- August 29, 2012: Carey Mulligan Nude – Shame – Blu ray
- September 18, 2012: Alexis Knapp Nude – Project X – Blu ray
- October 13, 2012: Amber Heard Nude – The Joneses – Blu ray
- October 22, 2012: Kristen Stewart Nude – On The Road – Blu ray
- October 27, 2012: Amy Smart Nude – Crank: High Voltage – Blu ray
- November 1, 2012: Mayra Leal Nude – Machete – Blu ray
- November 3, 2012: Lindsay Lohan and Alicia Marek Nude – Machete – Blu ray
- November 21, 2012: Sarah Silverman Nude – Take This Waltz – Blu ray
- December 7, 2012: Michelle Williams Nude – Take This Waltz – Blu ray