Upscale Nude

Catherine Zeta-Jones Naked – The Play on One: Out of the Blue – HD-ish Upscale from SD

If you’ve ever searched for a nude Catherine Zeta-Jones, you know very well that results aren’t easy to come by. It’s not that she’s never done a nude scene, but more that none of the nude scenes that she’s done have gotten blu ray releases or even HD releases with streaming services. A nude Catherine Zeta-Jones has long been a sort of Moby Dick for me, so I suppose it’s suitable that me first coverage of it should be from a standard definition TV stream that I’ve attempted, with limited success, to “fix” for decent fappability. I’ll let you be the judge of exactly how well I’ve done at the task.

What we’re looking at today is a BBC production – of course it had to be a BBC production – called The Play on One, and specifically, the episode Out of the Blue. It features Colin Firth, who mysteriously does not get his dick out, but more importantly, this is only the second ever production that our Welsh daffodil has ever starred in. The first, of course, is the infamous 1001 Nights, the mysteriously-rated French PG movie that has about a thousand (and one) scenes featuring a nude Catherine Zeta-Jones. This may not be the longest Catherina Zeta-Jones nude scene around, but it is one of only a handful of times we’ve seen her nude, and, if I may be so bold as to say, this is a(n admittedly amateur effort of producing a) color correction that hopefully enhances its overall fappability. Again, enjoy a nice helping of Catherine Zeta-Jones nude.

Holly Willoughby Naked – Ministry of Mayhem – 4K-ish Upscale from VHS

It’s easy to assume you would never have the opportunity to see Holly Willoughby naked. After all, she doesn’t really do much acting, she doesn’t do many lewd online postings, she doesn’t have an OnlyFans (yet), so where would you see her naked body? The answer is obviously ITV’s children’s Saturday Morning Show, Ministry of Mayhem. Yes, that one. I was going to type that it goes without saying that we weren’t supposed to get a Holly Willoughby nude shot in the show, but with some of the stuff I’ve seen on Ministry of Mayhem, I’m convinced that the producers catered more to coomers than children.

Holly actually occupies a very interesting niche in the nudity ecosystem. Although she doesn’t get naked a lot – or, like, ever – she is the queen of suggestiveness and tease. But here’s the funny thing: I’m not sure that she does it intentionally. Even now, hosting another of ITV’s morning shows, This Morning, with famed sex god Phillip Schofield, she seems to cultivate that innocent MILF aura that I can’t quite figure out the sincerity of. It’s clearly working, because any attempt to find nudes of Holly on the internet will lead you to reams upon reams of fakes, which should be every fapper’s worst nightmare, though desperate times have clearly called for desperate measures.

But if you want to actually see the real Holly Willoughby nude, Ministry of Mayhem remains the only place to do so. This clip dates back to June 26, 2004 – a fateful Saturday morning like no other. For if you were watching the morning kids show on ITV, you would have seen the voluptuous presenter stand up to do a dance, bounce around a bit, have her bounce desynchronize with one of her boobs’ bounce, and said boob fall out of her top. Depending on how much attention you were paying and how big your TV was, you might even have missed it. Fortunately for you, noble fappers who enjoy rewinding lewd Holly clips captured the moment on VHS, and it lives on to this day.

An unsurprising phenomenon, considering Ministry of Mayhem had a number of Holly Willoughby bikini moments, usually dripping wet, often covered with slime, or as they call it on the show, “gunge.” But that’s hardly all. No, no, there are tons of moments with with Holly in racy and suggestive outfits. In this very same episode with her wardrobe malfunction, she does one of her infamous segments as Polly with the Trolley, in which she wears a French maid outfit. But not only does she wear this incredibly erotic outfit, the skirt of it is so short that her ass is almost showing, thighs obviously completely exposed, and the camera even trails behind her as she walks on the stage and films her from below. From below!

ITV must have known what they were doing. Their wardrobe department certainly knew what they were doing when they had their young, attractive presenter wear that nipslip-guaranteeing top and no bra underneath AND have her do a bouncy dance. Somewhere, a producer knew that they were going to get Holly Willoughby naked on camera, and they did their bit. Some men’s greatness just cannot be measured. Holly herself has said on interview how embarrassing the situation was for her, to which co-host Stephen Mulhern “joked” that their rating went up hard after that. I’m sure lots of things went up hard that morning. But that’s enough of that. Enjoy the lovely Holly Willoughby nude like you’ve never seen her below.

Bonus Round!