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Holly Willoughby Naked – Ministry of Mayhem – 4K-ish Upscale from VHS

It’s easy to assume you would never have the opportunity to see Holly Willoughby naked. After all, she doesn’t really do much acting, she doesn’t do many lewd online postings, she doesn’t have an OnlyFans (yet), so where would you see her naked body? The answer is obviously ITV’s children’s Saturday Morning Show, Ministry of Mayhem. Yes, that one. I was going to type that it goes without saying that we weren’t supposed to get a Holly Willoughby nude shot in the show, but with some of the stuff I’ve seen on Ministry of Mayhem, I’m convinced that the producers catered more to coomers than children.

Holly actually occupies a very interesting niche in the nudity ecosystem. Although she doesn’t get naked a lot – or, like, ever – she is the queen of suggestiveness and tease. But here’s the funny thing: I’m not sure that she does it intentionally. Even now, hosting another of ITV’s morning shows, This Morning, with famed sex god Phillip Schofield, she seems to cultivate that innocent MILF aura that I can’t quite figure out the sincerity of. It’s clearly working, because any attempt to find nudes of Holly on the internet will lead you to reams upon reams of fakes, which should be every fapper’s worst nightmare, though desperate times have clearly called for desperate measures.

But if you want to actually see the real Holly Willoughby nude, Ministry of Mayhem remains the only place to do so. This clip dates back to June 26, 2004 – a fateful Saturday morning like no other. For if you were watching the morning kids show on ITV, you would have seen the voluptuous presenter stand up to do a dance, bounce around a bit, have her bounce desynchronize with one of her boobs’ bounce, and said boob fall out of her top. Depending on how much attention you were paying and how big your TV was, you might even have missed it. Fortunately for you, noble fappers who enjoy rewinding lewd Holly clips captured the moment on VHS, and it lives on to this day.

An unsurprising phenomenon, considering Ministry of Mayhem had a number of Holly Willoughby bikini moments, usually dripping wet, often covered with slime, or as they call it on the show, “gunge.” But that’s hardly all. No, no, there are tons of moments with with Holly in racy and suggestive outfits. In this very same episode with her wardrobe malfunction, she does one of her infamous segments as Polly with the Trolley, in which she wears a French maid outfit. But not only does she wear this incredibly erotic outfit, the skirt of it is so short that her ass is almost showing, thighs obviously completely exposed, and the camera even trails behind her as she walks on the stage and films her from below. From below!

ITV must have known what they were doing. Their wardrobe department certainly knew what they were doing when they had their young, attractive presenter wear that nipslip-guaranteeing top and no bra underneath AND have her do a bouncy dance. Somewhere, a producer knew that they were going to get Holly Willoughby naked on camera, and they did their bit. Some men’s greatness just cannot be measured. Holly herself has said on interview how embarrassing the situation was for her, to which co-host Stephen Mulhern “joked” that their rating went up hard after that. I’m sure lots of things went up hard that morning. But that’s enough of that. Enjoy the lovely Holly Willoughby nude like you’ve never seen her below.

Bonus Round!

Daisy Waterstone Naked – Milky’s Immortality – HD Stream

We never got to see Daisy Waterstone naked while she was playing Margo in The Durrells of Corfu… except we kind of did. In fact, we got to see sweet Margo Durrell naked precisely while that show was airing. No, you didn’t miss it. The show didn’t give us an actual Margo Durrell nude scene, although that definitely would have spiced it up, but we did get to see Daisy Waterstone nude in another production that was released shortly after the second season of The Durrells finished. I’m talking about the web short, Milky’s Immortality. This is listed by the creator as the first part of the Milky Slips Time Trilogy. Sadly, we still have not seen the rest, but I’m looking forward to it, especially if both Daisy and the wardrobe department return intact.

Milky’s Immortality is a tale about quantum suicide and quantum immortality. If that sounds really heavy, you’ll be surprised to learn that it’s not. A surprisingly jaunty short which is no doubt helped by Margo Durrell’s bouncing tits pretty much opening it. Perhaps one of my favorite things about it is how well concealed it is. With less than 18,000 views as I write, I really feel like I’ve uncovered some sort of hidden treasure. Yes, it’s true that our English Rose has more credits in shorts than anything else, but even so, those are more mainstream, more marketed, more widely listed. Milky’s Immortality is like an unassuming side shop in the back alleys of a Moroccan market, but when you step through its threshold, you behold wonders the world has never seen… namely Daisy Waterstone’s breasts.

The funny thing is that there’s one place that we didn’t get to see Daisy Waterstone nude, and that’s in BBC’s Silent Witness. My God, BBC comes up a lot along my travels. It almost makes paying for TV License in the United Kingdom an honor, knowing that you’re funding so many nude scenes. And Silent Witness really does do that. Just off the top of my head, the show has the only nude scene by Daisy Ridley, who of course gained fame by playing Rey, Jar Jar Binks’ sex slave in the Star Wars sequels. Silent Witness also contains the only proper nude scene by Jodie Comer. That girl’s always got hair covering her tits in every other nude scene, but not Silent Witness. Incidentally, both playing corpses during their nude scenes. In fact, most of the nude scenes in Silent Witness are of corpses. I guess someone’s got to cater to the necrophile market.

As for contextualizing why we see Daisy Waterstone topless in Milky’s Immortality, it’s because she needs to commit suicide to travel to another dimension. We obviously all know that you have to be naked when you commit suicide, but panties are allowed if you do it by drinking dishwashing liquid. So she takes a gulp and then starts sputtering and throwing it up. If any of you fappers are into gag porn or something, you are in for a treat. I have to give mad respect to the director here for keeping the camera on her front, keeping the lights on bright, and not having any annoying props covering up the good bits. Your service will be honored for generations to come, sir.

We then get a magnificent view of Daisy Waterstone’s ass and hanging sideboob – or maybe it’s more of a hanging underboob – as she crawls across the room on the floor. She reaches the end of the room, at which point she rolls over onto her back. The camera operator then takes the opportunity to get a nice, long, lingering look at her naked body from the top as she lies dead. You know, as I’m writing this, I’m wondering whether this was actually an undercover Silent Witness episode. The coincidences are just too many. No, I take it back. Silent Witness nude scenes usually have terrible angles, whereas in Milky’s Immortality, we truly get the best seats in the house. Enjoy the screenshots of Daisy Waterstone nude.

Kimberley Nixon Naked – Cherrybomb, Easy Virtue, and Ordinary Lies – Blu ray and HD Stream

How does one go about seeing Kimberly Nixon naked? The fact that this post contains not only more than one feature, but an entire three, should tell you how much of a challenge this perilous adventure is. It is normally against my religion to commit organizational sins of this magnitude, but this perky little daffodil just does not get naked very often. But more importantly, when we do get the rare Kimberley Nixon nude scene, to call the nudity fleeting would be polite. The Welsh actress’ nude scenes tend to only contain a few frames of nudity throughout. I’m not exaggerating. The frames and clips on this page may paint a clear picture, but if you actually watch the two movies and the TV series contained herein, you’ll see it truly all is very blink-and-you’ll-miss-it.

I’ll start with Cherrybomb for two reasons. The first reason is that, clocking in at a princely 4 seconds, this movie contains the most amount of time that you can see Kimberly Nixon naked. The second reason is that the movie is a spinoff of the beloved Harry Potter franchise, telling the story of Ron Weasley moving to Northern Ireland after Hogwarts to work in a leisure center. Apparently he was disappointed with those Emma Watson nude leaks that totally weren’t staged to revitalize her dying career. Seriously, what is with actresses waiting until the spotlight has left them to get their tits out in unglamorous ways. It didn’t work for Neve Campbell, and it obviously didn’t work for Emma Watson, nude for the first time, though she was. But I digress.

The Kimberley Nixon nude scene in Cherrybomb is a bit controversial because for a number of the shots, her face isn’t in at the same time as her tits. If you’re happy to take my word for it, I’ve done some digging and comparisons, and I can tell you that it definitely is Kimberley Nixon nude in Cherrybomb, not a body double. The next movie we’re going to learn about (by which I mean fap to) is Easy Virtue. Jessica Biel is in that one as the lead, but sadly, she has no nude scene, so we’ll have to keep on fapping to her role as a stripper in Powder Blue. She does, however, join Kimberley’s character in doing a can-can on stage while wearing no underwear! No, I’m teasing again. Jessica Biel wears underwear, but Kimberley Nixon’s hairy pussy gets flashed multiple times. I’m sorry to say that I can’t confirm with 100% certainty whether we’re looking at a merkin or not. I don’t want to dash any hopes or ruin any orgasms, so I won’t voice any guesswork on the topic.

Now, there’s one other feature that you can see Kimberley Nixon topless in. I’d like to heartily thank and commend The Topless Review and their British Nudity Database for listing this in their database. There was an absolutely accidental nipple flash in the second episode of the second season of BBC series, Ordinary Lies. The show is not listed as having nudity, although BBC productions seem to make up about half the posts I cover here anyway, so it’s almost not surprising that this slipped through the editors’ cracks. At this stage, I might even make a tag for all of them (EDIT: promises made, promises kept). If you slow it way down, her left areola is visible in an entire four frames, and her actual nipple is seen in two. TWO! But hey, a nude scene is a nude scene, intentional or not.

For a consolation prize, I’ve included the lewd scenes of Kimberley Nixon making a bikini out of her bra and panties to swim and shiver in. You can find more lewd Kimberleys in Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, where she’s seen padding her bra to make her breasts look bigger, and Wild Child, where she’s sunbathing in a bikini for a while. Neither of those movies have nudity from her or anyone else, but we’re already in grasping-for-straws territory, so why not branch out? As for the movies where we actually do get Kimberley Nixon naked, breakdown of screencaps below.

Ordinary Lies

Easy Virtue

Cherrybomb

Lindsay Lohan and Alicia Marek Nude – Machete – Blu ray

Lindsay Lohan and Alicia Marek Nude
This is a revived post from the faptuary.net days. Click here for what this means. Information below may be neither current nor intelligent.
Original post: November 3, 2012

In part two of this three part special, we’ll take a very close look at the theatrical stylings of Lindsay Lohan. And when I say theatrical stylings, I’m of course talking about her tits. Indeed, the Lohan has been rather camera-shy when it comes to nudity. With most of the past decade lost on waiting for leaked picture like the ones that burned half of Disney’s line-up, Lindsay Lohan finally did a proper nude photo shoot for Playboy, mirroring Marilyn Monroe’s one.

Before the Playboy shoot and after all her legal troubles, court dates and jail time, though, Lindsay Lohan was in Machete, in which she had a nude scene. Now, the reason this went over most people’s heads is because it was reported early on that the movie contains a nude scene featuring Lohan’s body double. You can see a screencap of that below, alongside Alicia Marek who inexplicably plays the mother of someone only a decade younger than her.

The scene featured here, however, is Lindsay Lohan au naturel. At first it looks like her hair is covering the goods, but if you look really, really closely, it sways out of the way enough times that you can confirm she’s not wearing any sort of nude bra or even pasties. Clip and caps below. Enjoy.

Mayra Leal Nude – Machete – Blu ray

Mayra Leal Nude
This is a revived post from the faptuary.net days. Click here for what this means. Information below may be neither current nor intelligent.
Original post: November 1, 2012

This really is a great movie for nudity, enough so that this post is the first of what will be a three part special dedicated to the Robert Rodriguez film, Machete. Right off the bat, less than three minutes into the film, we get our first remote handjob from the filmmakers. Danny Trejo’s character, after gratuitously killing a herd of generic henchmen, bursts into a room occupied by the beautiful Mayra Leal, who is bare-ass naked and remains so for all two minutes of her screentime.

Machete shines out like a diamond in a sea of shit for the simple fact that it doesn’t take itself too seriously. The film is delightfully devoid of all of the stupid tropes that make modern films obnoxious, and full of all of the stupid tropes that made 70s and 80s cinema so entertaining. Even Steven Seagal features in yet another ethnically-mismatched role as a Mexican drug lord. This movie is the equivalent to a big, juicy cheeseburger next to a tiny slice of veal on an ornate plate and definitely recommended if you just want to sit back and chill over a few beers.

You’ll notice that the video quality isn’t as crisp as it could be for a blu-ray, but that’s because the opening scene is shot (or filtered) in an old-school manner, presumably to set the mood, theater noises and all. Clip and caps are below.