Barbi Benton naked in the 70s and 80s sits right up there with the tides and the stars in the sky as things that were reliable and frequent. If you are 90 years old and used to buy Playboy Magazine, you would have have seen Hugh Hefner’s one-time girlfriend in it many times, in addition to appearances in other Playboy media, like Playboy After Dark. But enough about ancient media. Let’s talk about something new and modern that all the cool young folks are into – Hee Haw. Barbi Benton was also in that as a comedienne. And then she was a country singer or something. My understanding is that she used to get bare ass naked on stage and spread her legs during live shows while people took polaroids. It was either her or Willie Nelson. I always forget.
Yes, it’s true that we could get peeks of Barbi Benton nude in half the careers she had, but as you all know, I’m a connoisseur of film and television. For that reason, today we’re going to be looking at her nude scene in a film called Hospital Massacre, also known as X-Ray, also known as Be My Valentine, or Else…, also known as Ward 13, and uniquely marketed as Jonas Brothers: An Erotic Adventure in Tajikistan.
So in what context do we get to see Barbi Benton nude in Hospital Massacre? Well, it’s very simple. She goes to a giant hospital for a routine check-up following signing up for new health insurance. As is perfectly normal in these kinds of situations, she runs into a doctor that can’t sign off her papers unless she gets naked so he can examine her again. I honestly don’t know why getting naked had to be part of it, but that’s possibly the least nonsensical thing about the movie. At least one can infer the motive, both on the part of the fictional voyeuristic doctor and on the shameless film producers who would do anything to sell tickets… and God love them for it.
So after we’re treated to a slow reveal of Barbi Benton topless, she gets groped around a bit while sitting on an examination table with her giant puffy nipples on show. Then the doctor asks her to lay down on the examination table, tits up, and more fondling happens while her majestic breasts remain firm like only a pair of 80s boobs can. A janitor watches all of this through a window. He even gets spotted by a nurse who tells him off and then carries on on her merry way, leaving him to beat off to the spectacle, his face clearly visible through the door. It was a different time. The shot with the doctor’s hands around her throat ends this scene, and then the movie goes back to having nothing going for it.
I was almost surprised that it didn’t end up evolving to a Barbi Benton sex scene, but then I remember that this movie isn’t a porno, not that you could have guessed that from the level of acting. If you want to see Barbi Benton naked elsewhere, Deathstalker is your best bet, though her nude scenes in that one will be overshadowed by those of the great Lana Clarkson, who always made sure that all the sword and sandal features she was in had copious amounts of nudity, but that’s a story for another post. Enjoy Barbi Benton naked in Hospital Massacre below.
