This is a revived post from the faptuary.net days. Click here for what this means. Information below may be neither current nor intelligent.
Original post: October 13, 2012
I’ve had a massive crush on her since forever, which made finding out Amber Heard is a lesbian all that much more heartbreaking. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m perfectly aware of the fact that even if she wasn’t gay, I wouldn’t stand a proverb’s chance on the internet of ever landing her… but still. I mean, she has a perfect face, she has a perfect body, and if the somewhat creepy interview with Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear is any indication, she has a pretty solid personality. Meanwhile, here I am spending my Saturday nights helping men I’ve never met masturbate.
Wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, yeah, Amber Heard in The Joneses. Any self-respecting fapper will remember her debut nude scene in Alpha Dog. Yeah, you didn’t see much, but it was certainly moistening. Then came The Informers, the orgasmic offering in which not only are the nude scenes nice and clear, but they also take up most of her screen time. Now we have The Joneses, which – if we’re to resume with the analogy – is the warm, soft cuddle after the deed is done. Sure, the scene is a bit short and kind of dark, but it certainly ain’t something to not be thankful for. Also, she’s a brunette in this film, which automatically scores bonus points with me.
Two notes on quality. If you noticed that the caps and video look slightly different, it’s because the caps have been color corrected to not be so dark. I was going to release the video with the same color correction initially, but it seemed a little too grainy in moving format, so the clip you’re getting is as it appears on the blu-ray. The color-corrected clip is available on demand, if anyone wants it.
The second note is that I’m switching encoding software. I don’t want to bore anyone with technical details, but the most noticeable difference is that I’ll now be encoding the videos in 2 passes rather than a single pass. What this means for you is that the videos will look clearer and take up less space for faster downloads. Also, I’ll be pushing the boundaries of internet porn by making a permanent switch to uber-high bitrate 15 mbps for all 1080p videos, which should actually make a visible difference now with the new encoding.
OK, enough of that. GIF’s on Tumblr; clip and caps below.
