Ass Nude - Page 11

Ullie Birve Naked – Epsilon aka Alien Visitor – HD Stream

Is it weird that the only place where you can see Ullie Birve naked is in a PG-13 film? Is it even weirder that she has not one, not two, but a whole three full frontal nude scenes in said PG-13 film? Yes, it absolutely is, and I love it. PG-13 nudity is the best thing ever because it’s so natural, so seamless. These are the kinds of nude scenes that separate titty films from porn in the strongest way possible, and when the nude scenes in them are full frontal, all that much better. I’m talking about the film that was originally released in Australia in 1997 as Epsilon and worldwide as Alien Visitor.

So under what circumstances do we get graced with an Ullie Birve nude scene in this film? Well, the answer, naturally, is that she is an alien. That’s not an immigration comment; she is literally a literal alien from outer space. The fact that she looks exactly like a human woman is quite fortuitous for us when combined with that she doesn’t understand the point of wearing clothes. Until the other main character forces her to get dressed, she sort of just walks around naked everywhere. It’s funny because this reminded me of one of my favorite (for obvious reasons) tropes, so I decided to look up the Innocent Fanservice Girl trope on TV Tropes, and indeed, this very film is mentioned right in there as an example of it.

The somewhat bad news is that this nudity is “tastefully done”, so all in all, we get less than a minute of Ullie Birve nude in the truest, most visible sense on screen. I’m not complaining, of course, and the implied nudity lasts closer to 5 minutes, so if you can get your rocks off to that, then enjoy. The first proper nude scene is a bit of a taster. We see the Australian actress naked head to toe while standing in the middle of a desert. Unfortunately, this shot is from a fair distance, so details aren’t as great as can be. The positive here is that it is very well lit, which cannot be said for the rest of her nude scenes in the sci-fi film.

We’re then teased with many opportunities to see Ullie Birve topless at least, but alas, the camera cuts to above her nipples every time. At this stage, you would certainly be forgiven for thinking that the distant full frontal is the best you’re going to get, which makes what happens next that much more satisfying. In spite of being, once again, a PG-13 film, we get a shot of our alien visitor walking walking toward the camera completely naked and with everything on show. Allow me to qualify that. Not only do we get full bush. Yes, full hairy beaver. But we also get to marvel at her big tits as they bounce and sway to her walk.

Our naked alien visitor then gets forcibly dressed by Captain Cockblock, but don’t worry, this isn’t the end of it. She gets pissed off once she finds out that she is on Earth (understandable; I get angry every morning I wake up on this cursed planet), and begins destroying his camp. She’s only wearing a man’s shirt at this stage, so suffice it to say, her hairy pussy and ass make many an appearance as she thrashes about for half a minute. I know there are guys out there that love to see Australian celebs nude, so hopefully this obscure little piece of Outback cinema gives you that fix. Below are all the screencaps of Ullie Birve naked.

Scarlett Johansson Naked – Under The Skin – 4K Stream

Do you want to see Scarlett Johansson naked? Of course you do. Even if you’re a gay man or a straight woman, I know you want to see Black Widow nude. Everyone does. It’s one of the universal constants. The frustration for every human with a pulse, however, is that there is only one movie in existence in which we get a proper Scarlett Johansson nude scene. The good news is that said movie offers less one nude scene and about six million nude scenes. Truly nothing is impossible. I’m talking of course about Under The Skin, the 2013 film by Jonathan Glazer (extremely loosely) based on the 2000 novel of the same name by Michel Faber. Tragically, in the film adaptation, Scarlett doesn’t play a wolfgirl like she does in the books, so all you anime fans are going to be disappointed. That said, catgirl nudity is still on the menu if you look hard enough.

Now, you may think that the reason she’s been so shy about getting naked since Under The Skin came out is because you’re not supposed to see a Disney actress nude. It messes with Disney’s family-friendly image, which is a weird concept considering even Disney stars from literal children’s shows end up doing reams upon reams of nudity after the fact, Miley Cyrus being perhaps the most notable example, but by no means the only. Even so, that’s not the reason. Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow has been a thing since Iron Man 2 came out all the way back in the glory years of 2010. But wait! Disney didn’t originally own Marvel Studios, so that’s irrelevant. Wrong in this situation. Disney bought out Marvel Entertainment in 2009, a year before the release of Iron Man 2 and the introduction of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. But when did Under The Skin come out?

The first time the world was blessed by seeing Scarlett Johansson nude was in 2014, when Under The Skin was released. Before someone calls me out on it, yes, technically the film first screened to audiences in 2013, but that was only if you happened to be at one of the major film festivals in which that happened. Everyone else had to wait until the following year. I do too remember waiting with bated breath for footage to finally emerge all those months, being sustained only by reports from lucky fappers that happened to be at one of the original screenings. It was a long wait, and then, to be honest, I was disappointed with the final release.

Scarlett Johansson, tits, trimmed bush, plenty of full frontal nudity – what could I possibly have been disappointed in? Well, for those who have seen the film, you’ve certainly noticed just how incredibly dark the nude scenes in it are. So if you’re sitting through it to fap to Scarlett Johansson naked, you might feel somewhat cheated. My problem back then was that I didn’t bother with color correction, and in fact, very few people did. Certainly the first offerings of the nude scenes from Under The Skin were only brightened or had the midtones boosted. Nothing more advanced than that, and sadly, it was not enough.

To get the full experience of enjoying Scarlett Johansson topless in Under The Skin, quite a lot of work has to go into it. Yes, it’s true that better attempts at color correcting these scenes have come about in the eight years since the movie met the general public, but I’ve still felt that none have really reached the kind of detail I need to minimally sustain my fap sessions. An oft-misattributed quote to Gandhi is “Be the change you want to see,” and while he didn’t actually say those words, if he had lived to witness the era of film and television nudity, I’m sure he would have. Gandhi liked titties. And I like detailed titties. This culminated in my own attempt at color correcting the nude scenes in Under The Skin so that I can actually get the best look at Scarlett Johansson naked possible (unless you’re Ryan Reynolds and you’ve gotten to see that heavenly body up close). The result (so far) is available all throughout this page. You’re welcome.

And Under The Skin really is the full package. If you’re after some Scarlett Johansson ass, it’s got you covered. If what would tickle you pink is close ups of Scarlett Johansson’s feet, then it’s got plenty of that too. Honestly, it’s unreal just how gratuitous the nudity in this movie is. And once you get some color correction done, it’s even visible. I don’t know if this has ever been confirmed or not, but I suspect that the really dark shots and extreme lighting are a payoff for how technically explicit the nude scenes are. I mean, you’re not going to get an A-list Hollywood actress who, as we’ve established, is already part of Disney’s Marvel Cinematic Universe as Black Widow, to do gaping pussy shots on screen unless you assure her that it’s totally artistic… not at all gratuitous… not at all meant to be sexually arousing.

That said, if you don’t find a close up of Scarlett Johansson’s pussy, surrounded by her neatly trimmed pubic hair, soft yet firm abs, and luscious thighs, sexually stimulating, then you’re truly one in a million. Again, gay men and straight women are not exempt from this. I’m not going to do a full run down of each of her nude scenes in Under The Skin, except to say that she doesn’t have any sex scenes, which is ironic considering the movie is all about luring unsuspecting Scottish neds into her van with the implication of them getting sex somewhere along the way. Then again, I suppose that was meant to be the subversion. Whatever. Either way, the naked scenes by and large involve non-sexual nudity, which I’ve always found makes for a more sublime fapping experience.

Let’s quickly address other films and characters where you might hope to see a naked Scarlett Johansson. Black Widow? The character everyone loves, for sure, but Disney actresses only go nude outside of their contracts, so that’s an obvious no-go. One of her early roles was in A Love Song for Bobby Long, wherein at the tender age of 19, she was cradling some majestic sideboob to flash for the camera. As you’ve probably guessed, there is no nipple visible, even if we do get a massive look at her massive right breast. Vicky Cristina Barcelona has some great cleavage as she’s topless in a bed, and while her tits look phenomenal, again, no nipples appear. Next, a skinny dipping scene in He’s Just Not That Into You. Tons of people swear they saw a flash of nip here as she bobs up and down in the swimming pool, but I’ve not scrubbed through the frames myself to confirm. She has a sex scene in Don Jon, but you pretty much see nothing, so that one’s a wash too.

Outside of film, the Scarlett Johansson leaked nude photos were what they were, but a lot of people felt it immoral to fap to those personal pictures. As for the ones that didn’t find it immoral, the Fappening showed us all something very interesting, which is that Hollywood millionaires just cannot afford phones with even halfway decent cameras. One last dishonorable mention goes to her role in Ghost in the Shell, in which all of her nudity is obscured by a body suit, even when she is literally meant to be completely naked. Yes, I am enough of a weeb to know that Major was always a machine (in that body anyway), but the Major in the anime had nipples, android or not, and Scarlett Johansson has nipples too, which has been proven to us courtesy of Under The Skin. I’m just saying it would have fit together nicely, but Hollywood decided to aim this adaptation at preteens, so we’re robbed once again.

Anywho, for all that’s wrong with the world of celebrity nudity, one thing that went right, albeit with a spot or ten of color correction, is Under The Skin. So from that gem of Scottish cinema, enjoy Scarlett Johansson nude.

Jessica Biel Naked – Powder Blue – Blu ray

There has only been one movie with Jessica Biel naked, and that’s Powder Blue. I’m starting out with that fact because it’s a controversial stance, but I really don’t see it as such. Movies where she is technically naked but you don’t see anything don’t count in my books. The closest we get is the USA Network series The Sinner, wherein we see ass while she’s taking a shower as a police officer watches. It goes without saying, being an American network television show, no nipples are visible at any point. Even Easy Virtue, which had a scene with multiple pussy flashes from Kimberley Nixon, didn’t include any nude scenes from its main star.

So we come back to Powder Blue, a movie with the mouth-watering premise of Jessica Biel as a stripper. The strip club is featured multiple times, so in theory, we have many excuses to see Jessica Biel naked. Ironically, only one of the three nude scenes she does in the film is in the strip club, but there’s tons of footage of her in skimpy outfits and some borderline fetish gear, if that’s what you’re into. That’s about the end of the eroticism in the movie. The rest of her role is exceptionally depressing, to the point that I actually almost struggled to fap to her nude scenes. Almost. Got there in the end, though.

The first time we see Jessica Biel nude in Powder Blue is not the first time she does an exotic dance at the strip club. There’s at least one tease scene before that involving the aforementioned exposing clothing. The actual nude scene we got is the one that went down in history. She walks onto the stage in a black cape-robe-thing and flashes her ass a few times before taking it off (the cape, not her ass). The striptease then continues on for a little bit before she takes her top off. Now, at this stage, if it was your first time watching the movie, you might think that it’s just more tease because we see this from the back, but it’s not. The camera very quickly goes to the front, where we see Jessica Biel naked for the first time.

So you’re a film director and you have Jessica Biel topless in front of a camera. What do you have her do? The answer is obviously (apparently) to have her pour hot wax down her back and then splash more hot wax onto her bare breasts while creepy geezers watch. And because that didn’t meet the director’s quota for sexual fetishes, the next part has her realize her incredible shame, begin crying, and cover up her tits so that no one can see them… while on the stage at a strip club full of men with no other purpose to be there than to stare at her naked body. I found the scene reminiscent of the forced stripping and covering of private parts by Catherine Walker in A Dark Song, which I suspect scratched the same penis itch for a lot of coomers out there.

In two shorter scenes, we get to see Jessica Biel’s ass and her breasts again from the side as Eddie Redmayne pulls her shirt over her head before an off-screen sex scene. The aforementioned ass scene gives quite a decent shot for a nice amount of time, so you don’t even need to rely on the freeze frame. As one final point, each time the film has Jessica Biel naked, the shots are very dark and, in the case of the stripping scene, lit with an exceptionally red light. I’ve made an effort at color correcting it (and then some), but I suspect the whole thing was shot in digital since this resulted in considerable artifacts. Nonetheless, I believe it’s an improvement over the original, so enjoy Jessica Biel nude like you’ve never seen her before.

Daisy Waterstone Naked – Milky’s Immortality – HD Stream

We never got to see Daisy Waterstone naked while she was playing Margo in The Durrells of Corfu… except we kind of did. In fact, we got to see sweet Margo Durrell naked precisely while that show was airing. No, you didn’t miss it. The show didn’t give us an actual Margo Durrell nude scene, although that definitely would have spiced it up, but we did get to see Daisy Waterstone nude in another production that was released shortly after the second season of The Durrells finished. I’m talking about the web short, Milky’s Immortality. This is listed by the creator as the first part of the Milky Slips Time Trilogy. Sadly, we still have not seen the rest, but I’m looking forward to it, especially if both Daisy and the wardrobe department return intact.

Milky’s Immortality is a tale about quantum suicide and quantum immortality. If that sounds really heavy, you’ll be surprised to learn that it’s not. A surprisingly jaunty short which is no doubt helped by Margo Durrell’s bouncing tits pretty much opening it. Perhaps one of my favorite things about it is how well concealed it is. With less than 18,000 views as I write, I really feel like I’ve uncovered some sort of hidden treasure. Yes, it’s true that our English Rose has more credits in shorts than anything else, but even so, those are more mainstream, more marketed, more widely listed. Milky’s Immortality is like an unassuming side shop in the back alleys of a Moroccan market, but when you step through its threshold, you behold wonders the world has never seen… namely Daisy Waterstone’s breasts.

The funny thing is that there’s one place that we didn’t get to see Daisy Waterstone nude, and that’s in BBC’s Silent Witness. My God, BBC comes up a lot along my travels. It almost makes paying for TV License in the United Kingdom an honor, knowing that you’re funding so many nude scenes. And Silent Witness really does do that. Just off the top of my head, the show has the only nude scene by Daisy Ridley, who of course gained fame by playing Rey, Jar Jar Binks’ sex slave in the Star Wars sequels. Silent Witness also contains the only proper nude scene by Jodie Comer. That girl’s always got hair covering her tits in every other nude scene, but not Silent Witness. Incidentally, both playing corpses during their nude scenes. In fact, most of the nude scenes in Silent Witness are of corpses. I guess someone’s got to cater to the necrophile market.

As for contextualizing why we see Daisy Waterstone topless in Milky’s Immortality, it’s because she needs to commit suicide to travel to another dimension. We obviously all know that you have to be naked when you commit suicide, but panties are allowed if you do it by drinking dishwashing liquid. So she takes a gulp and then starts sputtering and throwing it up. If any of you fappers are into gag porn or something, you are in for a treat. I have to give mad respect to the director here for keeping the camera on her front, keeping the lights on bright, and not having any annoying props covering up the good bits. Your service will be honored for generations to come, sir.

We then get a magnificent view of Daisy Waterstone’s ass and hanging sideboob – or maybe it’s more of a hanging underboob – as she crawls across the room on the floor. She reaches the end of the room, at which point she rolls over onto her back. The camera operator then takes the opportunity to get a nice, long, lingering look at her naked body from the top as she lies dead. You know, as I’m writing this, I’m wondering whether this was actually an undercover Silent Witness episode. The coincidences are just too many. No, I take it back. Silent Witness nude scenes usually have terrible angles, whereas in Milky’s Immortality, we truly get the best seats in the house. Enjoy the screenshots of Daisy Waterstone nude.

Kimberley Nixon Naked – Cherrybomb, Easy Virtue, and Ordinary Lies – Blu ray and HD Stream

How does one go about seeing Kimberly Nixon naked? The fact that this post contains not only more than one feature, but an entire three, should tell you how much of a challenge this perilous adventure is. It is normally against my religion to commit organizational sins of this magnitude, but this perky little daffodil just does not get naked very often. But more importantly, when we do get the rare Kimberley Nixon nude scene, to call the nudity fleeting would be polite. The Welsh actress’ nude scenes tend to only contain a few frames of nudity throughout. I’m not exaggerating. The frames and clips on this page may paint a clear picture, but if you actually watch the two movies and the TV series contained herein, you’ll see it truly all is very blink-and-you’ll-miss-it.

I’ll start with Cherrybomb for two reasons. The first reason is that, clocking in at a princely 4 seconds, this movie contains the most amount of time that you can see Kimberly Nixon naked. The second reason is that the movie is a spinoff of the beloved Harry Potter franchise, telling the story of Ron Weasley moving to Northern Ireland after Hogwarts to work in a leisure center. Apparently he was disappointed with those Emma Watson nude leaks that totally weren’t staged to revitalize her dying career. Seriously, what is with actresses waiting until the spotlight has left them to get their tits out in unglamorous ways. It didn’t work for Neve Campbell, and it obviously didn’t work for Emma Watson, nude for the first time, though she was. But I digress.

The Kimberley Nixon nude scene in Cherrybomb is a bit controversial because for a number of the shots, her face isn’t in at the same time as her tits. If you’re happy to take my word for it, I’ve done some digging and comparisons, and I can tell you that it definitely is Kimberley Nixon nude in Cherrybomb, not a body double. The next movie we’re going to learn about (by which I mean fap to) is Easy Virtue. Jessica Biel is in that one as the lead, but sadly, she has no nude scene, so we’ll have to keep on fapping to her role as a stripper in Powder Blue. She does, however, join Kimberley’s character in doing a can-can on stage while wearing no underwear! No, I’m teasing again. Jessica Biel wears underwear, but Kimberley Nixon’s hairy pussy gets flashed multiple times. I’m sorry to say that I can’t confirm with 100% certainty whether we’re looking at a merkin or not. I don’t want to dash any hopes or ruin any orgasms, so I won’t voice any guesswork on the topic.

Now, there’s one other feature that you can see Kimberley Nixon topless in. I’d like to heartily thank and commend The Topless Review and their British Nudity Database for listing this in their database. There was an absolutely accidental nipple flash in the second episode of the second season of BBC series, Ordinary Lies. The show is not listed as having nudity, although BBC productions seem to make up about half the posts I cover here anyway, so it’s almost not surprising that this slipped through the editors’ cracks. At this stage, I might even make a tag for all of them (EDIT: promises made, promises kept). If you slow it way down, her left areola is visible in an entire four frames, and her actual nipple is seen in two. TWO! But hey, a nude scene is a nude scene, intentional or not.

For a consolation prize, I’ve included the lewd scenes of Kimberley Nixon making a bikini out of her bra and panties to swim and shiver in. You can find more lewd Kimberleys in Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, where she’s seen padding her bra to make her breasts look bigger, and Wild Child, where she’s sunbathing in a bikini for a while. Neither of those movies have nudity from her or anyone else, but we’re already in grasping-for-straws territory, so why not branch out? As for the movies where we actually do get Kimberley Nixon naked, breakdown of screencaps below.

Ordinary Lies

Easy Virtue

Cherrybomb