Perhaps having a post about Florence Welch naked is a bit out of character for the Faptuary, but to be fair, I have been branching out a bit, like when I posted the most important moment of Holly Willoughby’s career some time back. This is kind of like that. Like, I’m sure most of you have been in the situation where you’re driving, here a song come on the radio, and say to yourself, “Man, I wish I knew what that singer’s boobs looked like.” Usually those questions go unanswered because unlike actresses, musicians don’t need to get their tits out in music videos…
Unless you’re the lead singer of Florence and the Machine. Yes, it’s true. Their music videos feature shots of Florence Welch nude. I think this kind of thing should take off. God knows music videos have become a bit passé now. The once proud MTV has managed to dip even below its already shite reputation of a channel for lame reality shows to becoming merely a memory that boomers talk about when they’re in the stage of their complaint cycle where they talk about how much greater things used to be. The other stage of their complaint cycle, of course, is talking about how much greater things are now, during which they’ll bring up music videos on demand via YouTube. Yet even YouTube is becoming old-fashioned to zoomers, whose ADHD has reached levels that were previously not believed possible.
Filling music videos with shots of Florence Welch nude could just be the injection of life that the industry needs to bring the medium back to its old splendor. Now, you may be confused as to why this post is about The Odyssey when in fact there is no song of that name by Florence and the Machine. So just to clarify, The Odyssey is a short film that creates a sort of overarching story across five of the band’s songs, namely “What Kind of Man,” “St. Jude,” “Delilah,” “Ship to Wreck,” and “Queen of Peace.” I appreciate that I would normally do a post per feature, but even though these are separate music videos, the clips are so short and spread out, that it would just be silly to do it that way, so I’m treating The Odyssey as a whole. Speaking of which, the full short is available on YouTube if you feel that you would fap to the Florence Welch nude shots better with audio.
There isn’t a high volume of full on shots of Florence Welch naked, but the music video/short movie does have plenty of lewd moments. Those who are aware of Florence and the Machine know that Florence Welch does like to display her diamond hard nipples through her tops as often as she can. So even when there is no nudity in The Odyssey, we get second best. Strangely enough, other than some rumblings at Coachella – and I mean Florence Welch stripping off, not breaking her foot – she is surprisingly dressed in her stage performances. You’d expect, with how lewd this round of music videos is, that she’d do a sort of Courtney-Love-naked-on-stage thing, but sadly not. Maybe soon.
I do want to say, lest anyone should get any false hope, there is no full frontal nudity in The Odyssey, but we do see Florence Welch topless on a few occasions. In one, a man is nuzzling her breasts with his face. In another, she’s lying on her back on a bed but tilted toward the camera for… reasons. Then there are a few moments when there’s sideboob visible, and maybe you’re not quite sure whether you’re seeing a nip or not, but if you freeze frame it at the right time, you definitely are seeing nips. Admittedly, the shots would be better if the angle was more toward the front, but as a long-time sideboob aficionado, I can’t say I disapprove. To not have too lean a post, I’ve padded some lewd shots along with the Florence Welch nude frames below.
