Fapsmith - Faptuary

Saoirse Ronan Naked – Foe – 4K Stream

I too thought the day would never come in which we’d get a proper look at Saoirse Ronan naked… and it still hasn’t. Yes, her nude scenes in Foe are significantly more graphic than her nude scenes with Kate Winslet in Ammonite, but even with the recent VOD release – and in 4K, at that – the Irish actress’ boobs remain either in shadow or painfully far away. Who doesn’t like a good pixel hunt, though, right?

And if you’re here to see Saoirse Ronan’s ass, I’m just gonna straight up direct you to Ammonite for that. Although she does moon the camera in one scene, only the top of her butt crack isn’t enshrouded by the pitch black of darkness. You’d be willing to put up with that? Sure, but then there’s the fact that the flash of ass lasts only a handful of frames – a literal fraction of a second – and is out of focus. Tremendous. I’m not bitter. OK, I am a little bit. I just really thought this was going to be the nude scene we’ve all been waiting for from Saoirse, but it seems like what we got sits somewhere on the border between true nudity and tease.

And speaking of tease, the amount of false starts I had watching Foe and getting ready to spunk over an amazing Saoirse Ronan nude scene that I thought had begun, only to get literally zero visible nudity, is off the charts. There are a bunch of shower scenes. Tons of them. All of them are well lit. All of them are close-up. But alas, a bit too close. In not a single shower scene do either of Saoirse’s nipples peek above the bottom of the screen. Savagery. Pure savagery.

But all that said, we do technically see Saoirse Ronan topless in Foe, and multiple times. Her face is even in the same shot in a lot of these, which is more than we can say for the only other time she’s gotten naked on screen. Of course I expected more, and it goes without saying that I wanted more, but my thirst for celeb nudity is rarely quenched, and against the backdrop of the wretched drought of nude scenes in film and television that has been affecting Hollywood over the 2010s and 2020s, this isn’t too bad a haul. Factor in that we’re talking about an actress who rarely gets naked in her movies, and suddenly this whole thing’s looking quite rosy after all.

And I know a lot of you guys have been after a Saoirse Ronan sex scene in which you don’t have to imagine that you’ve transitioned for the sake of a self-insert, so now you can imagine that you’re Paul Mescal instead. Or the modesty patch she wears on her pussy during one of the sex scenes. Whatever. Do what you gotta do. Here’s the 4K, UltraHD gallery of caps featuring all of the shots of Saoirse Ronan naked in Foe to help you along.

Heather Graham Naked – Suitable Flesh – 4K Stream

Blessed are the believers, for we get to see the gorgeous Heather Graham naked yet again. At a regal 53 years old, the Wisconsin beauty has a brand new nude scene out, this time in Shudder’s adaptation of Lovecraft’s The Thing on the Doorstep, Suitable Flesh. She’s still got it. Oh yes, she’s still got it. Sure, we’ve seen a million Heather Graham nude scenes, including her iconic nudity in Boogie Nights and Killing Me Softly, but every fapper knows that there’s no such thing as enough nudity in film and television, and given the wretched drought we’ve faced the past few years, I am absolutely over the moon at all of the A-listers getting naked on screen again this year.

The first nudity in the film is a Heather Graham sex scene in which she’s supposed to be bottomless. I say “supposed to” because not only is she still wearing a top during sex (boooo!), but if you look carefully enough, you’ll notice that she seems to be wearing modesty panties as well. I’ll be honest – at this point, I thought this movie was going to be a dud for nudity. The next nude scene comes in at a bit after 50 minutes in. In it, the character of Elizabeth Derby (kind of) is examining her breasts, as one does in this situation. “She” opens her gown and flashes each tit, one after the other. No face in the shot, though. Fortunately this gets corrected about 6 minutes later, when we get the look at Heather Graham naked that we were all waiting for – face and right boob in the same shot… multiple times!

Yes, the nudity is scant in the grand scheme of things, but it is there, and if you can’t be bothered to scrub through yourself, then I’ll save you the trouble. Enjoy the gallery of Heather Graham nude in Suitable Flesh below.

Saoirse Ronan Nude – Foe – Preview

Update: FULL POST OF SAOIRSE RONAN NAKED IN FOE NOW LIVE HERE!

We finally get our proper Saoirse Ronan nude scene. The movie is Foe, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to cream myself to hell and back when it releases on blu ray or streaming services – the latter apparently coming as soon as November. For those who can’t wait, I’d like to direct you to the highly erotic lesbian sex scene between Saoirse Ronan and Kate Winslet in Ammonite. Yes, it’s modest by comparison, but it is her nude debut and available in greater quality… for now.

There are videos out. Unfortunately, you’ll have to get a hold of me on Twitter/X for those.
I’m not just being obstructive. There is a reason.

Gallery of Saoirse Ronan naked in Foe below, and of course, as more is revealed, so too will this post be updated.

Emma Stone Nude – Poor Things – Preview

It’s Emma Stone nude in Poor Things. Yes, we’ve all been waiting for this since the news broke. In fact, we’ve all been waiting for a proper Emma Stone nude scene ever since she did her tease of a boob flash in The Favorite (or is it The Favourite?). Either way, the time has come. Mad respect to the living legend u/Honest_Persimmon_674 for this footage. If you’re ever ’round my parts, buddy, I’m buying you a beer.

If the videos aren’t loading, you may have to hit me up on Twitter/X.

And, of course, it wouldn’t be the Faptuary without a gallery. Also, is that a natural bush I’m seeing on Emma Stone’s pussy? Just sayin’, it doesn’t look like a merkin.

Willa Ford and America Olivo Nude – Friday the 13th – Blu ray

America Olivo Nude and Willa Ford Nude
This is a revived post from the faptuary.net days. Click here for what this means. Information below may be neither current nor intelligent.
Original post: December 16, 2012

In the previous post – the one where I introduced the film and put up Julianna Guill’s killer sex scene – you may remember I referred to the new Friday the 13th as being as much a porno-lite as any other film in the series. I actually take that back now. A better descriptor would be “even more of a porno-lite”. The casting director in this one didn’t even bother looking for struggling actresses desperate for their big breaks. Instead, he took the two secondary nude scenes straight out of Playboy magazine.

America Olivo – Playboy magazine, June 2009. Near the beginning of the movie, the writers give us the iconic campfire scene. You know the one. First the ominous scary story, then the campers split up, then the boobies come out, then someone gets an organ massage with a machete. The boobies in this case belong to singer, actress and quasi-pornstress, America Olivo. Sadly, there’s a little too much silicone for my liking, but the film placates fake boob detractors by giving us a lesson on the wonders of GPS technology throughout the scene. Good choice, writers. Can you imagine how much less sense it would have made if the monologue was about fluorescent lighting or, God forbid, semi-conductors? I shudder at the very thought.

Willa Ford – Playboy magazine, March 2006. I actually have mixed feelings about this nude scene. On one hand, it fulfils the trifecta of douchbaggery – containing a flashy boat, wakeboarding, and a frat boy yelling “WAOHOOO!”. On the other hand, the wakeboarder is a naked girl and the frat boy dies, so I suppose it redeems itself. Anyway, the caps and clips for both scenes are below. Sorry about the choppy editing in the Willa Ford video. I had to cut out a lot of non-nude parts to keep the file reasonably sized.