2000s Nude Scenes in Film and Television - Page 3

Rachel Shelley Naked – The L Word (Prison Arc) – HD Stream

We didn’t get too many scenes of Rachel Shelley naked in The L Word, but one of the ones we did get is absolutely amazing. I’m talking about the brief story arc that opens Season 5 during which Helena Peabody is in prison. For those who didn’t follow The L Word, the arc covered the first three episodes of the fifth season. It is pure women-in-prison magic, but with an interesting twist in that, off the top of my head, I cannot think of any major women-in-prison features other than Orange Is the New Black that are told from a female perspective. Yes, obviously, the main characters are all women, but the writers and directors tend to be greaseball men like the God-Emperor of Sleaze Jess Franco – or as he came to be known after his ascension, Jesús Franco.

If I say that the three episodes we are looking at in The L Word were all written and directed by women, I would likely surprise no one. After all, the whole point of the show was that it was a “groundbreaking take on gay women’s lives” and “focused primarily on the stories of lesbian and bisexual women”, and naturally, it was created, written, and directed by a team of women. Seeing a story arc about a women’s prison and all of the trappings of the genre from that perspective has been both illuminating and satisfying.

We actually don’t see Rachel Shelley nude in the first episode of the season. The appropriately titled LGB Tease includes one of the critical elements of the genre, which is the prisoner intake. We have Rachel Shelley naked in it – well, technically naked but covering her boobs with a handbra – while a corrections officer wearing a pair of blue latex gloves leers menacingly from behind her. The shot ends with Helena Peabody bending forward to get her ass and vagina thoroughly fingered, but alas, none of this is captured on camera. In fact, the episode ends with no further nudity from the Swindon native, living up to its title.

The tease doesn’t last long because we do see Rachel Shelley topless in the very next episode, titled Look Out, Here They Come!, which may or may not have been a reference to the tsunami of orgasms from all aficionados of women-in-prison flicks. The context is, of course, a prison shower. You know how these kinds of scenes go, don’t you? Big open shower rooms with droves of completely nude female prisoners, soaped up and wet, getting into fights, the works. We do indeed see Rachel Shelley nude here for the first (and sadly last) time in the story arc, but what we are not given in quantity, we get plenty of in quality.

If you thought Showtime did well with the women-in-prison nude scene in this episode, you’re probably going to be quite enraged when you find out that there was a spin-off of The L Word planned that was going to take place entirely within a women’s prison, but it never saw the light of day. It was to be called The Farm, and apparently the pilot was filmed and everything, but alas, no biters at Showtime. Sad. Incidentally, this nude scene here also includes full frontal nudity from former Canadian Member of Parliament Lenore Zann, but more on that later. For now, enjoy Rachel Shelley naked in the prison story arc from The L Word.

Rachel McAdams Naked – My Name Is Tanino – HD Stream

Hunting for footage of Rachel McAdams naked in the films she has been in is a bit of a disorienting experience. It’s counterintuitive, but Rachel McAdams nude scenes are so few, far between, dark, and limited in view, that it’s almost easier to just tell yourself that the Canadian actress has never really done any on-screen nudity. But the thing is that there is actually one nude scene from her that ticks (almost) all of the boxes in the best way possible, and it’s in a film that no one really talks about, which I suppose isn’t that bizarre considering it’s a small-ish Italian film with not quite the same reach as, say, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. (Yes, Rachel McAdams is in that one as Doctor Christine Palmer, but no, as with all Marvel Avengers bullshit dirt, there is no nudity.)

The seminal moment I’m talking about is, of course, Rachel McAdams nude in My Name Is Tanino. This is her nude debut, but it’s a bit more than that in terms of foundations of her career. My Name Is Tanino came out in 2002, only a year after her first screen role. Perhaps more importantly for why it was and continues to be so easily forgotten is that it first screened at the Venice Film Festival barely a few months before The Hot Chick released to theaters. Now, while The Hot Chick is neither a cinematic masterpiece nor a hotbed of nude scenes (spoiler alert: it has none), its Hollywood pedigree is significantly more established, and indeed, it was responsible for kickstarting the Ontario native’s career.

But we’re here to talk about times that we’ve seen Rachel McAdams nude, not times that we haven’t. I guess My Name Is Tanino came at the right point in her career for that. Why do I say that? Because unlike in future nude scenes from the actress, in which it’s all about the subtle “artistic” nudity, in this one, she just spends a while running around a beach topless and swimming in a sea topless and appearing in a flashback topless. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a whole lot more gratuitous than the kinds of “tasteful” flashes we see elsewhere. What’s more, whether it was filmed on location or in a studio, her nude scenes are all set on hot, sunny days, so the nudity is about as well lit as can be. The biggest downside we face is that there is yet to be a blu ray release, and the streaming version suffers from – to be polite – imperfect video quality.

The good news for you, dear fapper, is that if you really absolutely need to see Rachel McAdams topless on blu ray, every single other film she has done a nude scene in has a blu ray release. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but in chronological order, these are The Notebook, a PG-13 film in which we get some nip and sideboob action during sex scenes; The Time Traveler’s Wife, another PG-13 film where she moons the camera with her bare ass (which I suppose is about right for the age rating); To the Wonder, in which Ben Affleck marvels at her tits as they bounce in his face; and Disobedience, in which she partakes in hardcore lesbian tomfoolery, including one scene of Kate Winslet spitting into her mouth, which is, depending on perspective, either more or less graphic than when she ate out Saoirse Ronan’s pussy in Ammonite.

Yeah, that will probably always remain the most explicit Rachel McAdams sex scene, but the honor of hosting the most gratuitous nudity from the actress is unlikely to ever pass from My Name Is Tanino. Don’t get me wrong – I am fully hoping it does, because even at 43 years old (as I write), she is still drop dead gorgeous. That said, there is a bit of a curse with actresses who enter the Marvel Cinematic Universe sort of calling it quits with appearing naked in films, so I have no plans to hold my breath for any amazing offerings at this stage. It’s all good, though, because we’ve got this and we always will. Enjoy Rachel McAdams naked in My Name Is Tanino.

Cécile Breccia Naked – Starship Troopers 3: Marauder – Blu ray

Perhaps the most high profile view of nudity we had from Starship Troopers 3: Marauder was Cécile Breccia naked during that infamous group nude scene from the movie. If you don’t know which scene I’m talking about, I’ll refresh your memory by referring to the last time I covered it. Of course, that time around, it was to highlight the participation of South African actress Tanya van Graan, who plays a fellow mobile infantryman (infantrywoman? infantryperson?), so that post did not pay due diligence to Cécile Breccia or Nicole Salandra, issues which I plan to correct today and in the near future, respectively.

The fappers among you who have seen other Cécile Breccia nude scenes are more likely than not to be French or at the very least connoisseurs of French cinema. Of the three other films which I have found to include nude scenes from the partly Italian-descended French-born actress, two are from her native country. Her nude debut was in 2006’s Président, in which she’s frolicking naked on a bed. This was followed by a scene in Hollywood’s own The Hills Have Eyes II, where she played an unnamed woman – credited only as “Pregnant Woman” – tied down with her boobs showing but covered in filth and bodily fluids. I don’t know. Might be your thing I guess.

The last movie in which we saw Cécile Breccia nude is the French sex comedy Cyprien, where we get a nice bit of sideboob and ass. There is something I noticed, which is that in Starship Troopers 3: Marauder, Cécile looks like she’s had a boob job, but she doesn’t look it at all in the other films in which she’s done nude scenes. I saw no news results indicating anything of the sort, but I’m cognizant that if any gossip mags have commented on it, they’ll be in French, and the only word I know in French is qui, so I’m a bit out of my depth. If any French fappers have any information on the topic of Cécile Breccia’s breast implants (or lack thereof), leave a comment down below, hit me up directly, or go via the official Twitter. Otherwise, enjoy the gallery of Cécile Breccia naked in Starship Troopers 3: Marauder below.

Polly Walker Naked – Rome – Blu ray

It was about time to do a nice, beefy post, and what better topic to do it with than Polly Walker naked in HBO’s Rome? Yeah, shame on you if you thought that Fapsmith was going to make a habit out of phoning it in with lean posts of 5 second-long nude scenes. I obviously had the exact opposite to work with when going through Rome. The series itself has a cornucopia of nude scenes from a number of the actresses, but even when you drill it down, we got a variety of Polly Walker nude scenes split across four separate episodes, coming in at second place for the most amount of nudity in the series, losing only to her in-show daughter Octavia, played be Irish actress Kerry Condon.

It is actually a bit funny because I remember back when Rome came out in 2005, it did have a bit of a reputation for being a gratuitous nudity fest. Certainly a large part of that reputation was well-deserved. For instance, when color correcting for these very scenes in this post, I cam across something that may slip under your radars as you watch the videos above and certainly slipped under most people’s radars, my own included, when watching the show as it’s meant to be on TV. My rather aggressive color correction, however, brought it out nice and clear. I’m talking about Lee Boardman’s ballsack slapping Polly Walker’s bare ass during their sex scene. Seriously, this is practically hardcore porn-tier. Considering it is clear that neither actor is using a body double in any other part of the sex scene, it’s unlikely that that’s the case here.

I’m not complaining that a Polly Walker nude scene contains *gasp* Polly Walker nude. I just find it very weird that HBO had their actors actually have literal genital contact during the filming of what I can only assume is meant to be a simulated sex scene. And if it wasn’t simulated, than Rome is literally hardcore pornography. And yet, in retrospect, it all seems rather pared back. Admittedly, the show’s successors didn’t have this level of genital contact, but compare how frequent and graphic the nude scenes were in – to use the most extreme example – Starz’ Spartacus. Of course, Spartacus had what was to me a very huge issue, which is the incessant use of the most evil invention on the planet – the merkin. I love a good bush – I really do. A merkin is not a bush any more than a clay figurine of a boob is a boob.

That said, we should be thankful for just how much we got to see of Polly Walker topless in Rome. Aside from having an all natural bush in a cast of actresses with all natural bushes, although it may not have been Spartacus-tier, HBO’s Rome was still from an era when nudity in film and television wasn’t seen as so problematic. It’s no coincidence that I chose Spartacus to compare it to. Starz, the network that produced Spartacus, produced another series this year. I’m talking, of course, about Becoming Elizabeth. You remember Becoming Elizabeth? It’s that show that all but opened with the nude debut that everyone had been waiting for – that of Call the Midwife’s Nurse Jenny Lee, Jessica Raine. And then we never saw her nor anyone else naked again for the entire rest of the show.

Polly Walker’s boobs may have only appeared a handful of times – four, to be precise – but that’s three more than one, far more than the token nude appearance to reel viewers in and leave them blue balled. For those among you keeping score, the episodes in which we see Polly Walker naked are the pilot episode, it’s follow-up, then the next one, and episode six. Yeah, the first three episodes of HBO’s Rome all had Polly Walker nude scenes. At the end of that one, a lot of people, myself included, probably thought that it would be an episodely affair. Unfortunately, at that point, there was only one more on the horizon, and then no more. Not from Polly, at least. Plenty from her co-stars, of course.

And that was the last of the Polly Walker sex scenes in Rome. And no, I haven’t forgotten that an entire second season was released. That one just contains no more nudity from Atia of the Julii, even though she continues to be a central character. I’m quite upset by that because Polly Walker had gained a bit of weight between the filming of the two seasons, and oh man, she had filled up in all the best ways by Season 2. I was hoping we’d get to see those nice, big, juicy MILF titties, but alas, no such luck. Yeah, she has a bath scene in the third episode of the second season, but I scrubbed through it looking for a money shot, and with regret I have to report that none such shot exists. Season 2 of Rome did have less nudity overall than the first, but it’s especially disheartening that Polly Walker nude scenes dropped from 4 all the way down to a flat 0.

And so we find ourselves constrained solely to the first season for this post, but hey, if you find yourself looking very closely to Polly Walker’s ass in the scene where she walks out of the Roman bath, you might spot a little something that wasn’t that obvious in the original air that my color correction has brought out. There is something visible in her thigh gap. Because it’s obviously in very dark shadow regardless of how much I boost the luma, it’s unclear exactly where the pubic hair ends and the pussy lips begin, but what I’ve got can certainly help your imagination along. Well, that’s my megapost of the quarter done, so scroll down and enjoy Polly Walker naked in Rome.

Tanya van Graan Naked – Starship Troopers 3: Marauder – Blu ray

I admit that my research here has been quite difficult for reasons I’ll get to in a second, but I am fairly confident that Starship Troopers 3: Marauder is the only movie in which we can see Tanya van Graan naked. As many of you who have been fapping over here for a while – some of you even going back to the .NET days – know, I love covering both a nude debut and hunting for actress’ rare only nude scenes of their careers, so this shouldn’t be a cause for surprise. The reason it is a cause for surprise anyway is because of the exact trajectory that the actress has followed in terms of doing nudity professionally. I would be understating it if I said that there are other ways to see photographic evidence of Tanya van Graan nude.

For starters, she’s a model. Before the #metoo movement meant that we all had to convert to Salafism and seeing so much as a woman’s nude ankle made you a gigarapist and literally Hitler, naked photoshoots were par for the course for any working model, and Tanya van Graan sure did work hard. She has done nude spreads for international women’s magazine Marie Claire while talking about giving her organs away. She’s done nude photos for international lad mag FHM, who also awarded her as the sexiest woman in South Africa in 2007. And all of that is just scratching the surface.

The really weird thing about Tanya van Graan nude appearances is the trajectory. Starship Troopers 3: Marauder was her big break. Not only was it her first film role, but it was also her first role in a production that was not South African (though the movie was filmed in the country). Yeah, she only has about a minute of screen time, two lines of dialogue (one of which is to ridicule a man for having a small penis), and spends about two thirds of it all naked, but still. This is where you would expect an explosion of nude scenes to ride the wave, but alas, it was not so.

A lot of people thought they saw Tanya van Graan topless in her very next role, 2010’s Mad Cow. I’m going to piss in your corn flakes right now and just tell you that that was a body double. Sorry, but it’s been confirmed. She had a faux nude scene in Death Race 3: Inferno, but the camera never shows her tits from the front nor even from the side, so no nudity there. The only thing I wasn’t able to determine is whether she got naked in Lost Boys: The Thirst. IMDB states that there definitely is nudity in which “breasts are shown,” but I couldn’t quite find out which actress that was supposed to be in the 2 minutes I spent researching before I got bored (ADHD lol). If you know, do your fellow fappers a favor and drop an answer in the comments below. In the meantime, though, enjoy Tanya van Graan naked in Starship Troopers 3: Marauder.