Faptuary - Celebrity nude scenes, high definition media and bad decisions - Page 25

Eva Hamilton Naked – Ruin Me – HD Stream

Lately I’ve developed a somewhat unhealthy obsession with hunting down all material that includes Eva Hamilton naked. I always imagine that’s the point of nude scenes – getting sad fappers to shell out their hard-earned money for a movie just to see the actress’ tits. I ain’t even mad, though. Ruin Me was actually a pretty fun movie. It tells of a group of people entering a sort of escape room-type situation, but it’s set in a forest. So like an escape forest… or something. Such a scenario obviously lends itself to plenty of nudity, so I suppose it’s ironic that none of the nude scenes – or rather, the only nude scene – actually has nothing to do with the escape room scenario.

I’m obviously not complaining about the circumstances in which we got to marvel at Eva Hamilton’s nude body. I just wish there were more nude scenes. But then, I had the same opinion about Room in Rome, and that movie has more nude scenes than non-nude scenes. Perhaps we could have gotten a chance to see Marcienne Dwyer nude. She did play the protagonist, but then there’s that weird thing about female protagonists in films – not simply “the female lead,” but the actual protagonist when the character is a woman – rarely getting naked, no matter how many other actresses in the same film do get naked. The most common exceptions seem to be BBC productions and films directed by women.

So what exactly is the context in which we see Eva Hamilton nude? Well, the main characters are all sitting around a campfire, and Eva’s character suggests a game of truth or dare, before announcing her intent to skip the boring bits and just get naked. And then she does get naked, because why not. In an inexplicable turn of events, all of the men present dislike this move. This includes the self-admitted virgin of the group who is before and after this scene one of the thirstiest bastards around. Maybe in that moment he realized that he was gay all along, just like the other fellers around that campfire.

This is not a problem for the viewer, however, because the camera lingers on Eva Hamilton’s topless figure for quite a while. No, the scene doesn’t last minutes, but I think everyone is well acquainted with those blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nude scenes where you’re not even sure whether the actress was ever naked or not. With that in mind, this one’s quite refreshing. Yes, it’s somewhat, kind of, fairly dark-ish in the original film, but a spot of color correction brings out, as I’m sure you can agree looking at the images and video on this page, quite a lot of detail. The little puppy roleplay thing she does for about three seconds is surprisingly topical, calling back to Scarlett Johansson naked in Under The Skin, who technically plays a wolfgirl, even if it’s never said in the movie, and Lily-Rose Depp naked in Wolf, where she plays, contrary to what the film’s name might imply, a catgirl.

If you find Eva Hamilton hot and would like to marvel at her glorious breasts some more, I’m still early days in my research, but you can see her nude in a number of movies that came out in the three years after Ruin Me. In Death Kiss, she opens up her top to flash her titties to Charles Bronson’s spirit. In Ouija House, she is topless for a ritual, because why not, but alas, she’s wearing a mask over most of her face. In The Dragon Unleashed, she gets her shirt ripped off, flashing her boobies in the process. Very nice. And finally, in Cabal, she enjoys a hot tub topless, the way God intended. But let’s not get too greedy. For now, enjoy Eva Hamilton nude in Ruin me.

Claudia Napolitano Nuda – Rkomi: Insuperabile – 4K Stream

È Claudia Napolitano nuda! There we go, I’ve exhausted my knowledge of the Italian language, but at least no one can accuse me of not trying now. I got a hot tip today of a music video that may or may not have had brief shots of Claudia Napolitano nude. When I skimmed through on YouTube, I didn’t actually catch anything the first time, but as a hardcore fapper with no shame and tons of dedication, I decided that the only correct thing to do to settle this would be to run the video file through some super secret squirrel software (definitely not Adobe After Effects), boost the midtones, and scrub through it frame by frame in any shots where there could conceivably be a flash of nip. I’m sure the existence of this page has confirmed to you that we do indeed see Claudia Napolitano naked in it.

Now, I’ve always had a soft spot for nude scenes that aren’t really supposed to exist. Unintentional wardrobe malfunctions that aired live and haven’t been able to be scrubbed from existence – like those of Camila Cabello and Holly Willoughbooby – are nice, but that’s not exactly what I mean. No, I’m talking about scenes like Kimberley Nixon in Ordinary Lies, where she was nude on set for the sake of believable cleavage or sideboob or whatever, but the actual nudity was never meant to make it on screen. In that case, either the editor didn’t notice that there was nipple visible for four frames, or he did but the show went ahead anyway and intentionally feigned ignorance, either to pull one over on the actress or to sneak past the morality crusaders.

To what extent that did or didn’t happen with this music video, I can’t tell you exactly, but what I can tell you is that we do see Claudia Napolitano nude, and the twelve frames in which we do so are so few – compounded by the fact that they’re split across four scenes – that I can only suspect that her appearing nude was not meant to be a part of the music video which the audience were meant to fixate on or even be aware of, which is kind of ironic considering the plot of the music video has her having sex with a dude for half the time and shooting him the other half. Who hasn’t been there with exes, am I right?

Right, so which music video am I talking about that has given us this unexpected offering of Claudia Napolitano naked? It is none other than Rkomi’s new single, Insuperabile, which was part of the Sanremo Music Festival 2022. The Italian readers among you will certainly know what I’m talking about. God knows I don’t. All I know is that when the music video started, I wanted to see Claudia Napolitano nude, and by the time the music video ended, I got to see Claudia Napolitano nude… four times, brief as they were.

For all the Italians out there who have been following Claudia Napolitano with The Jackal, you may know that the sexy comedienne has already appeared nude, and full frontal, at that, a small number of times before, but unless anyone can show me otherwise, my understanding of that situation is that it was all still images. Now you can see Claudia Napolitano nude in video. Video! At most six frames of video at a time, but hey, it is technically moving. Ecco Claudia Napolitano nuda! (There, now I’ve exhausted my knowledge of the Italian language)

Jenna Harrison Naked – Chimera Strain – HD Stream

You could be forgiven for thinking that we would never see Jenna Harrison naked again after 2007. After all, she made her nude debut at the same time she made her first ever film debut back in 2001 with My Brother Tom, which is also the only time she has done any full frontal nudity on the screen. That was followed up with a tender two years later by Cambridge Spies, which was a BBC miniseries, and we all know what that means. I would like to take this opportunity to once again thank British TV license payers for funding so many great nude scenes that we would not otherwise see.

Fast-forward another four years to 2007, and we have Natasha, which was everyone thought was going to be the last time we were going to see Jenna Harrison nude. And I suppose it wasn’t to be a bad send-off. There are group shower scenes, lesbian sex scenes, all the kinds of things you’d want to do to go out with a bang – both figuratively and literally. And so fappers lay dormant. For eleven painful years, we lay in wait for something that we thought would never happen. But then it did. In 2018, Chimera Strain came out. Now of all the nudity in the movie, I thought that it would just be more tease from Jenna since it was never her that got naked, until…

The first Jenna Harrison nude scene since 2007 appears within the last 10 minutes of Chimera Strain. I have to give the filmmakers credit. They really know how to build up just enough tension to get viewers to the point where we’re convinced that the nude scene we want the most isn’t coming, and then it comes (and so do we). I don’t want to give too many spoilers, so I won’t go into why everything is happening, just describe events that are already visible in the video above and screencaps below. Jenna’s character begins undressing in front of an incinerator or furnace. First it’s just down to bra, and at this stage, we’re kind of thinking that’s where it’s going to end. Then she pulls her pants down and she’s wearing nothing but the bra. This view is from the side, so you can’t really see anything explicit at this stage, and again, you’re probably thinking that this is as far as it’s going to get.

The payload finally hits when she takes her bra off, giving us the view of Jenna Harrison topless that we’ve been waiting for so long. There is then a shot from inside the furnace (I hope the camera was well insulated), with which we get a front-on look at her tits as the intensity of the fire fluctuates. She then turns around to run off, with a ceremonious shot of ass to tide us over. We’re treated to a distant shot of Jenna running completely naked between two large buildings. I’m sorry to say that even in HD, there is too much distance between her and the camera for any hard details (apart from the one in my trousers, of course) to be made out. Maybe when Chimera Strain gets a 4K release, we’ll be surprised by just how much nudity is hiding beneath the pixels.

The last bit is like something out of a medical fetish porn video. We get to enjoy Jenna Harrison naked again as she runs through a medical lab completely nude, her tits bouncing with wild abandon. She then lays down on a metal medical slab, on her back, of course, so that her nips are never concealed, and gets injected by a giant… thing from a machine. Am I satisfied? Damn right, I am. While not old by any stretch, the first time there was a Jenna Harrison nude scene was when she was 19 years old, and time is cruel. Not for her, though. The Norfolk actress has aged like the finest of wines and still looks incredible, firm breasts and all.

Ullie Birve Naked – Epsilon aka Alien Visitor – HD Stream

Is it weird that the only place where you can see Ullie Birve naked is in a PG-13 film? Is it even weirder that she has not one, not two, but a whole three full frontal nude scenes in said PG-13 film? Yes, it absolutely is, and I love it. PG-13 nudity is the best thing ever because it’s so natural, so seamless. These are the kinds of nude scenes that separate titty films from porn in the strongest way possible, and when the nude scenes in them are full frontal, all that much better. I’m talking about the film that was originally released in Australia in 1997 as Epsilon and worldwide as Alien Visitor.

So under what circumstances do we get graced with an Ullie Birve nude scene in this film? Well, the answer, naturally, is that she is an alien. That’s not an immigration comment; she is literally a literal alien from outer space. The fact that she looks exactly like a human woman is quite fortuitous for us when combined with that she doesn’t understand the point of wearing clothes. Until the other main character forces her to get dressed, she sort of just walks around naked everywhere. It’s funny because this reminded me of one of my favorite (for obvious reasons) tropes, so I decided to look up the Innocent Fanservice Girl trope on TV Tropes, and indeed, this very film is mentioned right in there as an example of it.

The somewhat bad news is that this nudity is “tastefully done”, so all in all, we get less than a minute of Ullie Birve nude in the truest, most visible sense on screen. I’m not complaining, of course, and the implied nudity lasts closer to 5 minutes, so if you can get your rocks off to that, then enjoy. The first proper nude scene is a bit of a taster. We see the Australian actress naked head to toe while standing in the middle of a desert. Unfortunately, this shot is from a fair distance, so details aren’t as great as can be. The positive here is that it is very well lit, which cannot be said for the rest of her nude scenes in the sci-fi film.

We’re then teased with many opportunities to see Ullie Birve topless at least, but alas, the camera cuts to above her nipples every time. At this stage, you would certainly be forgiven for thinking that the distant full frontal is the best you’re going to get, which makes what happens next that much more satisfying. In spite of being, once again, a PG-13 film, we get a shot of our alien visitor walking walking toward the camera completely naked and with everything on show. Allow me to qualify that. Not only do we get full bush. Yes, full hairy beaver. But we also get to marvel at her big tits as they bounce and sway to her walk.

Our naked alien visitor then gets forcibly dressed by Captain Cockblock, but don’t worry, this isn’t the end of it. She gets pissed off once she finds out that she is on Earth (understandable; I get angry every morning I wake up on this cursed planet), and begins destroying his camp. She’s only wearing a man’s shirt at this stage, so suffice it to say, her hairy pussy and ass make many an appearance as she thrashes about for half a minute. I know there are guys out there that love to see Australian celebs nude, so hopefully this obscure little piece of Outback cinema gives you that fix. Below are all the screencaps of Ullie Birve naked.

Barbi Benton Naked – Hospital Massacre – 4K Blu ray

Barbi Benton naked in the 70s and 80s sits right up there with the tides and the stars in the sky as things that were reliable and frequent. If you are 90 years old and used to buy Playboy Magazine, you would have have seen Hugh Hefner’s one-time girlfriend in it many times, in addition to appearances in other Playboy media, like Playboy After Dark. But enough about ancient media. Let’s talk about something new and modern that all the cool young folks are into – Hee Haw. Barbi Benton was also in that as a comedienne. And then she was a country singer or something. My understanding is that she used to get bare ass naked on stage and spread her legs during live shows while people took polaroids. It was either her or Willie Nelson. I always forget.

Yes, it’s true that we could get peeks of Barbi Benton nude in half the careers she had, but as you all know, I’m a connoisseur of film and television. For that reason, today we’re going to be looking at her nude scene in a film called Hospital Massacre, also known as X-Ray, also known as Be My Valentine, or Else…, also known as Ward 13, and uniquely marketed as Jonas Brothers: An Erotic Adventure in Tajikistan.

So in what context do we get to see Barbi Benton nude in Hospital Massacre? Well, it’s very simple. She goes to a giant hospital for a routine check-up following signing up for new health insurance. As is perfectly normal in these kinds of situations, she runs into a doctor that can’t sign off her papers unless she gets naked so he can examine her again. I honestly don’t know why getting naked had to be part of it, but that’s possibly the least nonsensical thing about the movie. At least one can infer the motive, both on the part of the fictional voyeuristic doctor and on the shameless film producers who would do anything to sell tickets… and God love them for it.

So after we’re treated to a slow reveal of Barbi Benton topless, she gets groped around a bit while sitting on an examination table with her giant puffy nipples on show. Then the doctor asks her to lay down on the examination table, tits up, and more fondling happens while her majestic breasts remain firm like only a pair of 80s boobs can. A janitor watches all of this through a window. He even gets spotted by a nurse who tells him off and then carries on on her merry way, leaving him to beat off to the spectacle, his face clearly visible through the door. It was a different time. The shot with the doctor’s hands around her throat ends this scene, and then the movie goes back to having nothing going for it.

I was almost surprised that it didn’t end up evolving to a Barbi Benton sex scene, but then I remember that this movie isn’t a porno, not that you could have guessed that from the level of acting. If you want to see Barbi Benton naked elsewhere, Deathstalker is your best bet, though her nude scenes in that one will be overshadowed by those of the great Lana Clarkson, who always made sure that all the sword and sandal features she was in had copious amounts of nudity, but that’s a story for another post. Enjoy Barbi Benton naked in Hospital Massacre below.