Blu Ray Nude

Cate Blanchett Naked – Tár – 4K Blu ray

A lot of people were happy to see Cate Blanchett naked in the recent psychological drama Tár, which was only yesterday snubbed for an Oscar not once, but six times. More than that, a lot of people were excited that the Australian actress had done a full frontal nude scene for the first time. I mean, the peek of pubic hair in Bordertown doesn’t count, right? Cate’s character in that has albinism, and the bush she sports does as well, so unless they literally bleached her bush for one fleeting shot in the miniseries, I reckon it’s safe to say that that was a merkin. Definitely no merkins in Tár, though. In fact, her pussy looks fully shaved. Very noice.

But there were nay-sayers – negative nancies who reckoned that with how dark the shot was, our Galadriel of old was actually not naked. So I investigated using the magic of color correction, and I can tell you that they were wrong! Well, partially wrong, but also partially right, sadly. We do genuinely get to see Cate Blanchett topless, although as you can see from the video and images here, there is very little detail of her nips in the footage. There’s pretty much only enough detail to confirm that her tits are there and visible in all their glory, nipples and all. As for her crotch and ass, she appears to be wearing some sort of skin-colored modesty panties. I don’t normally like bearing bad news, but the status of this nude scene has been controversial since the movie came out, so I’ll take the bitter victory of settling it. Maybe this is why the Academy Awards were so unkind.

So there’s Cate Blanchett nude in Tár. The gallery is below, as always, but before we get into that, I’d like to make a quick technical note. You may have noticed that the title of this post and the resolution tag label it as 4K / Ultra HD / 2160p, and yet the gallery images have a horizontal resolution of 1920 pixels and a vertical one that matches the aspect ratio for 1080p. This is not an error. I captured this from the 4K blu ray. When I was setting up the composition for the video, which I would have had to render in 1080p anyway for Redgifs and Twitter, I noticed that I didn’t need to scale anything down to make it fit, and so I just used the same crop for the images. In other words, the below gallery is genuinely in 4K but with 75% of each image (which contains nothing important) missing. I hope that was a clear explanation in spite of the brevity. If it wasn’t, just forget about it and fap to Cate Blanchett nude in Tár.

Kim Basinger Naked – The Door in the Floor – Blu ray

Like with so many nude scene that flew under the radar, most people don’t even realize that we saw Kim Basinger naked in The Door in the Floor. Her nude scene was overshadowed by the incredible full frontal nude scene by Mimi Rogers. Not that that’s surprising. I said when I covered that one that it was absolutely iconic, and I continue to stand by that. So then you have this nude scene from Kim Basinger which is so subtle that even if you’re watching it in high definition, you can wonder whether there really was a nip there or not. I dare not even imagine what you see – or rather, don’t see – on the DVD or an old SDTV stream.

To make it even more confusing, there is a second sex scene in the film where as you’re watching it, you may wonder whether there is or isn’t any visible nudity. That’s not the confusing part. The confusing part is that in the second scene, there definitely are not any naughty bits visible. If you’re more eagle-eyed while watching that scene and determine this, you may retroactively decide that there was no visible nudity in the first scene either. This is where I was at with it, and let me tell you, I am glad that I went over the footage once again to check because you do see full boob, nipple included, in the first sex scene.

So in what context do we see Kim Basinger nude in The Door in the Floor? Short version is she plays a literal MILF that cheats on her husband by having sex with a young man that he’s hired to shine his balls or whatever. Plenty of older-woman-younger-man vibes throughout the film, even if you do only see Kim’s boobs fully once. Other than Mimi Rogers, Elle Fanning is in this film too. Not quite the right time for a nude scene, though, so I’ll remind you that she recently had her nude debut in a great, albeit brief, number of scenes from The Great. Before we get too side-tracked, here’s Kim Basinger nude in The Door in the Floor.

Karen Hassan Naked – Vikings – Blu ray

Seeing Karen Hassan naked in the infamous whipping scene must be the best thing to ever come out of the History Channel. Yes, I do mean that History Channel. Those who remember their series Vikings will probably remember that it had an exceptional amount of rather graphic nudity, all the way up to full frontal. Canadian television really is in a league of its own. We never got a Karen Hassan nude scene that included full frontal nudity, and in fact, we didn’t get too many of them from her as a whole, but what we did get made a lot of guys really, really happy.

For those who have been keeping up with the franchise, and I exclude myself from that, a sequel series – Vikings: Valhalla – got picked up by Netflix and aired its first season last year. I haven’t watched it, but from what I understand, even though it does have nude scenes, there are far fewer of them and they are less graphic and gratuitous compared to the ones in the original Vikings. There’s something mildly depressing about the fact that film and television nudity has become so objectionable in the 2020s that a History Channel production from less than a decade ago seems like a Jesus Franco film by comparison. Oh well, trends are cyclical, so here’s to hoping we go back to how things used to be at some point so that this era of 4K Ultra HD isn’t wasted exclusively on close-ups of rubber penises.

The first episode of Vikings in which we got to see Karen Hassan nude was the finale of Season 3, titled The Dead. This was the Belfast beauty’s third appearance on the show, having been introduced as the character Therese, the sister-lover (Lannister vibes, anyone?) of Roland. She then goes on to enter a false relationship with her brother’s rival, which she facilitates by engaging in his BDSM fetish and getting whipped with a cat o’ nine tails in his sex dungeon.

As said earlier, we don’t actually get to see the full frontal, but there is a great shot of Karen Hassan’s ass and sideboob, so it is implied (about as heavily as is visually possible) that she is indeed completely naked during Count Odo’s floggings of her. The bad news kicks in with the fact that we are only treated to two of these, and in the second one, she is almost fully dressed. I’m talking about the one that comes in during the sixth episode of the fourth season. Therese even asks him if he wants her to get undressed, but he declines, instead opting to simply pull the back of her dress up, exposing her ass for a bit of butt punishment.

Outside of the dungeon antics, we do get to see Karen Hassan topless once more, and it’s during a sex scene with her brother in the third episode of the fourth season. Unfortunately, the lighting in this scene is even more coy than in her nude scenes that are literally set in a windowless basement, so there’s no more than a few blurry flashes of nipple to fap to. All that said, if you’ve enjoyed the Northern Irish actress’ lewd scene in Hollyoaks – the one with Lynsey Nolan’s wet shirt – this is a huge step up. Considering Vikings contained the actress’ nude debut and her only nude scenes, given how much time has passed, it seems like we may not ever get to see Karen Hassan nude again, but at least we can enjoy all three of her newly color corrected scenes from that series below.

Elizabeth Berridge Naked – The Funhouse – 4K Blu ray

There are only two films in which we get to see Elizabeth Berridge naked, and one of them is X-rated while the other is only PG. And all of this started when the young actress was only 18 years old, but I suppose that was all par for the course for the 80s. So which rating do you reckon this movie – The Funhouse – got? The genre probably gives it away, but this was the film that was banned in a couple of countries and rated X, M, 18, or equivalent in a number of others. And over what? Was it the two Elizabeth Berridge nude scenes?

I wouldn’t have thought so. You see, even though they are incredibly fappable, they are not especially graphic. First of all, they’re topless only. Not only do we not get a full frontal, but we don’t even get an ass shot. Fortunately, the size of Elizabeth Berridge’s giant tits makes up for the timid nature of the camera operator. Although now that I say that, it may have been a request on the part of the actress. When the New Yorker got naked in the PG-rated Amadeus in 1984, that too was a scene where only her big bouncing boobs were on display and nothing else.

So what’s the story with the Elizabeth Berridge nude scene at the start of The Funhouse? It’s set up in a way as to pay homage to the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho but with significantly more nudity. Like, a lot more, even if it is topless only. But then why the over-the-top ratings? There are multiple theories. One is that censors confused it with The Last House on Dead End Street, which was far more deserving of the rating and had a similar alternate title. Another theory is that the original script played a part in the decision somehow – be it through screenings of deleted scenes or something else – which revealed a whole lot more graphic and gratuitous nudity.

We do get an Elizabeth Berridge topless sex scene later on in the film, but that one is so tame, that it makes the shower scene looks like a hardcore porno. And other nudity? Well, a peep show features at one point wherein the protagonists watch a trio of strippers dance around with nipple tassels, but I suspect that’s not it either. Violence? Nothing to bat an eye at. It’ll clearly remain a mystery, but for my part, I care about only one thing, which is that the film got a 4K release, which means we get quadruple the amount of pixels to enjoy Elizabeth Berridge nude in The Funhouse with.

Vera Jordanova Naked – Hostel: Part II – Blu ray

Right here we have the only footage in existence of Vera Jordanova naked. Or is it? I’d like to tell you that what I mean is that I have leads on some obscure European films or TV series that have more nudity from the Helsinki-born Bulgarian model, but as it happens, the reality is in the other direction. OK, so then how much of Vera’s incredible body do we actually see naked in the Hostel sequel? The answer is more than casual enjoyers of nude scenes think but less than most connoisseurs of celebrity nudity realize.

Fellow travelers and people focused more on the movies than the nudity within them are split between those than that “know” (more on that in a bit) that we see Vera Jordanova nude in Hostel: Part II and those that think that the scene cuts before the money shot. The latter are wrong. If you scrub through frame by frame, as you can see on this page, we do see both of the character Axelle’s nipples. However, the former category of people are wrong in their own way.

We do not get to see quite as much of Vera Jordanova nude as these screenshots let on. The first thing I noticed while editing is that the area around her crotch seems to be blurred more than the rest of the shot. I’m not sure why. I suspect that there is a different cut wherein she flashes her pussy, the editors wanted those details softened or removed, those frames got cut, but the censorship remained. That’s just a guess, but that’s not what this bit is about anyway. No, I’m talking about her nipples. I’ve always thought that their irregular placement was natural, which I don’t mind. Nothing I love more than a natural pair of titties, warts and all. The clue should have been the visible discoloration around where they should be. That’s right. It’s been confirmed that she was wearing some sort of pasties over her nips, and the ones we see on screen have been digitally added in post. Bummer.

The Vera Jordanova bikini scene at the hot springs later in the movie is legit, though, and to be fair, other than her CGI or composited nipples, the rest of her boobs are on show, so it ain’t too bad. Just need to use a bit more imagination. But if that puts you off the movie, don’t let it, because Heather Matarazzo has a long and graphic (and somewhat disturbing) nude scene in Hostel: Part II that has been confirmed as being all her au naturel. Lauren German doesn’t have any nude scenes in the film, which surprised no one, and neither does Bijou Phillips, which surprised everyone who has seen her in any of her other roles. Eli Roth films seem quite chaotic on nudity, so it is what it is, I suppose. You’ll definitely be seeing more of Heather here soon, but in the meantime, enjoy Vera Jordanova nude (kind of) in Hostel: Part II.