Boobs Nude - Page 12

Rachel Shelley Naked – The L Word (Prison Arc) – HD Stream

We didn’t get too many scenes of Rachel Shelley naked in The L Word, but one of the ones we did get is absolutely amazing. I’m talking about the brief story arc that opens Season 5 during which Helena Peabody is in prison. For those who didn’t follow The L Word, the arc covered the first three episodes of the fifth season. It is pure women-in-prison magic, but with an interesting twist in that, off the top of my head, I cannot think of any major women-in-prison features other than Orange Is the New Black that are told from a female perspective. Yes, obviously, the main characters are all women, but the writers and directors tend to be greaseball men like the God-Emperor of Sleaze Jess Franco – or as he came to be known after his ascension, Jesús Franco.

If I say that the three episodes we are looking at in The L Word were all written and directed by women, I would likely surprise no one. After all, the whole point of the show was that it was a “groundbreaking take on gay women’s lives” and “focused primarily on the stories of lesbian and bisexual women”, and naturally, it was created, written, and directed by a team of women. Seeing a story arc about a women’s prison and all of the trappings of the genre from that perspective has been both illuminating and satisfying.

We actually don’t see Rachel Shelley nude in the first episode of the season. The appropriately titled LGB Tease includes one of the critical elements of the genre, which is the prisoner intake. We have Rachel Shelley naked in it – well, technically naked but covering her boobs with a handbra – while a corrections officer wearing a pair of blue latex gloves leers menacingly from behind her. The shot ends with Helena Peabody bending forward to get her ass and vagina thoroughly fingered, but alas, none of this is captured on camera. In fact, the episode ends with no further nudity from the Swindon native, living up to its title.

The tease doesn’t last long because we do see Rachel Shelley topless in the very next episode, titled Look Out, Here They Come!, which may or may not have been a reference to the tsunami of orgasms from all aficionados of women-in-prison flicks. The context is, of course, a prison shower. You know how these kinds of scenes go, don’t you? Big open shower rooms with droves of completely nude female prisoners, soaped up and wet, getting into fights, the works. We do indeed see Rachel Shelley nude here for the first (and sadly last) time in the story arc, but what we are not given in quantity, we get plenty of in quality.

If you thought Showtime did well with the women-in-prison nude scene in this episode, you’re probably going to be quite enraged when you find out that there was a spin-off of The L Word planned that was going to take place entirely within a women’s prison, but it never saw the light of day. It was to be called The Farm, and apparently the pilot was filmed and everything, but alas, no biters at Showtime. Sad. Incidentally, this nude scene here also includes full frontal nudity from former Canadian Member of Parliament Lenore Zann, but more on that later. For now, enjoy Rachel Shelley naked in the prison story arc from The L Word.

Rachel McAdams Naked – My Name Is Tanino – HD Stream

Hunting for footage of Rachel McAdams naked in the films she has been in is a bit of a disorienting experience. It’s counterintuitive, but Rachel McAdams nude scenes are so few, far between, dark, and limited in view, that it’s almost easier to just tell yourself that the Canadian actress has never really done any on-screen nudity. But the thing is that there is actually one nude scene from her that ticks (almost) all of the boxes in the best way possible, and it’s in a film that no one really talks about, which I suppose isn’t that bizarre considering it’s a small-ish Italian film with not quite the same reach as, say, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. (Yes, Rachel McAdams is in that one as Doctor Christine Palmer, but no, as with all Marvel Avengers bullshit dirt, there is no nudity.)

The seminal moment I’m talking about is, of course, Rachel McAdams nude in My Name Is Tanino. This is her nude debut, but it’s a bit more than that in terms of foundations of her career. My Name Is Tanino came out in 2002, only a year after her first screen role. Perhaps more importantly for why it was and continues to be so easily forgotten is that it first screened at the Venice Film Festival barely a few months before The Hot Chick released to theaters. Now, while The Hot Chick is neither a cinematic masterpiece nor a hotbed of nude scenes (spoiler alert: it has none), its Hollywood pedigree is significantly more established, and indeed, it was responsible for kickstarting the Ontario native’s career.

But we’re here to talk about times that we’ve seen Rachel McAdams nude, not times that we haven’t. I guess My Name Is Tanino came at the right point in her career for that. Why do I say that? Because unlike in future nude scenes from the actress, in which it’s all about the subtle “artistic” nudity, in this one, she just spends a while running around a beach topless and swimming in a sea topless and appearing in a flashback topless. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a whole lot more gratuitous than the kinds of “tasteful” flashes we see elsewhere. What’s more, whether it was filmed on location or in a studio, her nude scenes are all set on hot, sunny days, so the nudity is about as well lit as can be. The biggest downside we face is that there is yet to be a blu ray release, and the streaming version suffers from – to be polite – imperfect video quality.

The good news for you, dear fapper, is that if you really absolutely need to see Rachel McAdams topless on blu ray, every single other film she has done a nude scene in has a blu ray release. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but in chronological order, these are The Notebook, a PG-13 film in which we get some nip and sideboob action during sex scenes; The Time Traveler’s Wife, another PG-13 film where she moons the camera with her bare ass (which I suppose is about right for the age rating); To the Wonder, in which Ben Affleck marvels at her tits as they bounce in his face; and Disobedience, in which she partakes in hardcore lesbian tomfoolery, including one scene of Kate Winslet spitting into her mouth, which is, depending on perspective, either more or less graphic than when she ate out Saoirse Ronan’s pussy in Ammonite.

Yeah, that will probably always remain the most explicit Rachel McAdams sex scene, but the honor of hosting the most gratuitous nudity from the actress is unlikely to ever pass from My Name Is Tanino. Don’t get me wrong – I am fully hoping it does, because even at 43 years old (as I write), she is still drop dead gorgeous. That said, there is a bit of a curse with actresses who enter the Marvel Cinematic Universe sort of calling it quits with appearing naked in films, so I have no plans to hold my breath for any amazing offerings at this stage. It’s all good, though, because we’ve got this and we always will. Enjoy Rachel McAdams naked in My Name Is Tanino.

Saoirse Ronan Naked – Ammonite – Blu ray

Yes, this really is 100% Saoirse Ronan naked. No, it is not the most explicit nude scene ever filmed, nor anywhere close. I’m getting both of those out of the way right from the start because I don’t want anyone to be disappointed if they were expecting something more graphic, and I don’t want anyone crying fake or body double or anything like that. The important thing to focus on in times of nudity famine is that we very genuinely did get to see Saoirse Ronan nude in Ammonite. While I’m getting bad news out of the way, I’ll add that the original scene is so dark, that even with the blu ray as a source and no further compression, the range of light was narrow enough that it begins to look like absolute ass when you bump it up.

Speaking of ass, that’s most of what we get to see from Saoirse Ronan nude in Ammonite. The context is that Kate Winslet is eating her pussy out. No, I’m not joking. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s about famed paleontologist Mary Anning and geologist Charlotte Murchison, whom the filmmaker has decided were secretly in a lesbian relationship in the 1840s. I’m still not joking. It’s the kind of fanfiction you read on Wattpad. That’s not to say I disliked the movie. I thought it was great. After all, it is literally the only film in which we can see Saoirse Ronan naked.

Someone is going to point out that very early in the American-born Irish actress’ career, we did see Saoirse Ronan nude in How I Live Now (2013). You would certainly be forgiven for assuming that was legit. After all, Saoirse herself talked in an interview with MTV (YouTube mirror) about filming a sex scene in that movie and being half-naked… but that’s the hint, isn’t it? “Half-naked.” If she was only half-naked in her nude scenes, then who was completely naked in her nude scenes? The answer is Laura Harold. Very nice body, but we can equivocally confirm that Saoirse Ronan did use a body double in How I Live Now.

As for the Saoirse Ronan sex scene with Kate Winslet in Ammonite, all indication is that it is all her. It’s true that we don’t see Soairse’s boobs and face in the same frame – like, ever – but one or two shots do pan between them without a cut. Glamour certainly felt it was sufficiently intimate and authentic, but if that’s not enough for you, the Daily Mail have an entire article about how honored Saoirse was to rub her pussy lips all over Kate Winslet’s face on her birthday. And then there’s some other very explicit sex talk in it for good measure. Quite unexpected from an actress that hadn’t done nude scenes before and hasn’t done them since, but I sure ain’t complaining. Here’s Saoirse Ronan naked in Ammonite.

Lucy Aarden Naked – Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy – Blu ray

If I had to give one reason to watch Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy, it would be to see Lucy Aarden naked. I’m neither joking nor exaggerating when I say that this movie contains one of the greatest nude scenes of all time. The Lucy Aarden nude scene in the shower in the film is absolute perfection as far as film and television nudity goes. I understand that some of you may have reservations around it being a little bit dark overall, so I’d like to qualify my statement by saying that I grade the quality of a nude scene by how much detail is technically there, even if it’s not obvious at first glance. In other words, if the actress’ pussy lips appear to be in shadow in the scene but are made visible with a bit of digital trickery (AI not allowed, of course), that fits the bill.

And that is definitely the case in Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy. To be fair, even when you watch the film with the color grading and lighting that the producers intended, it’s not particularly difficult to make out the trimmed bush on Lucy’s pudenda or the cleft between her labia (what? too clinical?), but with the kinds of touch-ups that I put the footage through, it’s about as clear as if it had been shot with the English actress standing at the confluence of a hundred spotlights. I’m sure the results speak for themselves, but I feel obligated to say that there’s no part of Lucy Aarden nude that isn’t visible here.

Death Race may not be the only franchise in which we get to see Lucy Aarden nude (more on that in a bit), but this movie is definitely the one where we get to see her the most naked. The color correction reveals that even her inner labia feature in the shots. Inner labia! Seriously, I challenge any of you to tell me how many mainstream movies (pornos of any breed excluded) have their mainstream actresses do nude scenes with their inner labia clearly visible. The only way this nude scene could be more explicit is if the Shakespearean actress was pulling her pussy lips apart while the camera does an extreme close-up of her clit. Lucy, if you’re reading this and have been considering future steps in your career, yes, there definitely is a market for that.

The funny thing is that we’ve only seen Lucy Aarden topless in one other feature, so it’s not like this is a sort of career trajectory for her or anything like that. A year after her watershed performance in Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy, she was in an episode of Game of Thrones as Craya or Crayah, a King’s Landing prostitute. She got naked for that. Of course she did. It was Game of Thrones, after all, which still had a reputation for rampant, gratuitous, and wholly unnecessary nudity, unlike its significantly more tame successor, House of the Dragon.

Didn’t quite get a Lucy Aarden sex scene in that fated episode, but that’s more than made up for in this movie, which includes multiple shots of her being taken doggy style by Frankenstein, including more than one of her tits bouncing and swaying in a nature as graphic as is fit for a softcore porn film. Seriously, I cannot stress enough just how gratuitous the nudity is in this movie. The fact that so many of the extras are running around topless or bare-ass naked half the time is one thing, but it’s even other named characters, including Vanina Arias’ character, whom I’d covered earlier. Sadly, no nude scenes from Christine Marzano or Yennis Cheung, who play the sort of background roles of female protagonists, but with an antagonist like Lucy Aarden’s Carley, the perpetually nude Betty Boop-sounding villain, that’s more than made up for.

You’re all aware that I don’t cover pornography on the Faptuary. For this reason, I want to touch back on the point I’d made a few times about Lucy Aarden being a mainstream and serious actress. While I understand that a secondary role in a “straight-to-DVD ‘geezer’ movie” is far from exemplary of such status, the actress’ role in Nemesis does nonetheless reinforce the point. What reinforces it even more is Lucy Aarden’s theater pedigree – from the stage to not-exactly-the-stage to pure voice work, the last of which apparently includes voice dubbing for (presumably the extras) in Death Race itself.

I could probably go on forever talking about Lucy Aarden nude in Beyond Anarchy, but space is limited and so is any sane person’s attention span when exposed to my absolute drivel, so I’ll just start pulling to a close by reiterating that this is genuinely among the greatest nude scenes ever made, and I’m quite pleased with the result of my color correction, which, if I do say so myself, blew the others out of the water. Also, if someone wants to bring up the Lucy Aarden nude scene in Endeavour, guess again. Finally, it’s not easy to spot in this film, but Lucy’s heterochromia bumps her up from a solid 10 to a mathematically-impossible 11 for me. Enough babble. Unzip that fly and enjoy Lucy Aarden naked in Death Race: Beyond Anarchy.

Judy Greer Naked – Reboot – 4K Stream

Seeing Judy Greer nude in Reboot was the most pleasant surprise in film and television nudity of the year. After the absurdly scaled-back offering that’s been House of the Dragon and the sexless Mattel fabrication that resulted in The Rings of Power, I’d just about given up hope. And then out of fucking nowhere – Judy Greer naked in the pilot episode of Hulu’s Reboot. The funniest part of the whole scenario is that if IMDB is to be believed, Reboot has a self-applied rating of TV-14, earning it the coveted PG / PG-13 tag.

So, quick rundown of how and why we see Judy Greer nude in Reboot. Keegan-Michael Key walks in on her naked – Hell Baby vibes, much? Well, she’s not completely naked, but her sweater is trapped in her bra, and when her co-star helps her undo it, her bra comes off as well. Her boobs are out for about a second before she covers them up with a handbra. We then get some backboob as she’s getting dressed. As I write, only the first 3 episodes of Reboot have been released. There is no nudity other than this scene yet, but episode 3 does end with (spoiler alert) Judy Greer naked in bed with Alyah Chanelle Scott in what I’m assuming is the aftermath of some lesbian sex. Hopefully there’ll be more nude scenes before the season ends, but in the meantime, enjoy some Ultra HD 4K captures of Judy Greer nude in Reboot’s first episode.