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Jeanine Nerissa Sothcott Naked – Nemesis – HD Stream

I recently watched Nemesis because I read that the delectable Lucy Aarden was in it, but I ended up getting a whole lot more eye candy from the great scene of Jeanine Nerissa Sothcott naked and wandering around her apartment with her gigantic tits out. While it didn’t beat the infamous scene with the worm’s eye view of Lucy’s inner labia, to be fair, pretty much nothing ever will. But more importantly, this venture introduced me to an incredible new (to me) genre of movies that I never knew existed – asdacore. I intend to cover more of these movies as time goes on because they’re really fucking fun to watch, and this seems like the perfect one to start with.

Jeanine Nerissa Sothcott plays Sadie Morgan in Nemesis. I understand she got joint top billing with each of her huge boobs. Seriously, them’s some enormous breasts. I can totally understand why her character chooses to walk around wearing nothing but panties, stockings, and a lacy see-through robe that she keeps open anyway. I would too, as I hope every lead actress does in these movies. I’ve still not gotten around to watching others, but I understand that the latest offering, Renegades, will not only be out this month, but it’ll even be getting a theatrical release in some places.

Whether we will get to see Jeanine Nerissa Sothcott nude in Renegades is anyone’s guess (for now), but one thing is certain – we got to see a whole lot of her in Nemesis, and that’s a piece of magic that will certainly stay in our hearts forever. If you’re reading this fresh, I’m planning another YOU CHOOSE for the next post, so head on over to the official Faptuary Twitter page to vote for which nude scene you want to see next. Be the change you want to see by voting for the tits you want to fap to. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Emma D’Arcy Naked – House of the Dragon – 4K Stream

The season finale of House of the Dragon aired last night, and I almost thought that we had been robbed of our opportunity to see Emma D’Arcy naked. In fact, even as I watched the episode and even as I finished the episode, I continued to think that. I tossed back and forth in my head whether it was worth covering the scenes of her boobs bouncing behind the thin fabric of her see-through robe, nipples poking through it regally, since it wasn’t a true nude scene. In the end, I’m glad I did. Why? Because it turns out that there is exactly one single frame in the episode in which we honestly get a shot – or, indeed, a literal frame – of Emma D’Arcy nude.

For those who haven’t seen the episode, it contains multiple spaced out shots within the first fifteen minutes or so of the English actress’ Rhaenyra Targaryen pacing around, sweaty as hell, and wearing a white undergarment made of a fabric that is either thin enough or wet enough to let a fair bit of light through. There’s a sort of sundress effect with it, where you can see the clear outline of her boobs bouncing around and the relief of her nips even though there is material between her body and the camera. Not bad, but I obviously don’t need to stress that this is nowhere near the level of nudity we’re so used to from House of the Dragon’s predecessor Game of Thrones in terms of gratuitousness or graphicness (graphicality? graphictude?).

The shot in which we get our honest-to-God Emma D’Arcy nude scene is one of the ones in which the camera is giving us a bit of a downblouse and Rhaenyra is shifting around a bit. Prime recipe for a nipslip, obviously, and that’s exactly what we got. This actually makes for a nice wraparound, because of the only two nude scenes we got from House of the Dragon before this, one was by Milly Alcock, who plays the younger Rhaenyra Targaryen, and very well, I must say. That linked scene was that actress’ nude debut, and as it happens, the scene in this post is Emma’s. Here’s Emma D’Arcy naked in the Season 1 finale of House of the Dragon.

Olivia Colman Naked – Confetti – HD Stream

There is only one feature in which we have seen Olivia Colman naked, and it wasn’t even meant to be. In an interview with The Guardian back in 2007, the year after Confetti came out, the Norvician actress described filming the movie as “the worst experience of [her] life.” Apparently, the Olivia Colman nude scenes we got should have included a lot less nudity. In the same interview, the Academy Award-winning actress said that she was led to believe that “the nudity wouldn’t be quite as awful as it was.” Robert Webb, her co-star, said that he was told the nudity would all be pixelated, only finding out it wasn’t at the screening, where co-star Jessica Hynes apparently made a cheeky comment about his pee-pee, which sounds like something straight out of a CFNM fantasy.

So what are these Olivia Colman nude scenes everyone is referring to? Well, in the film, she plays a naturist – or, if you prefer the less in vogue term, a nudist. Who could have thought that there would be nudity in a film where one set of characters are nudists? Madness! To be fair, if the deal was that it was going to be pixelated, then that’s a pretty scummy move that the studio pulled on our Sophie. Worked out pretty well for all the fappers out there who have wanted to see Olivia Colman naked since Peep Show, but I suppose I would be none too impressed if I were in that situation. Doubly so when you consider that the actress has always (presumably intentionally) had a no nudity policy. I don’t even know if she has any lewds out there, let alone nudes.

I know you might be thinking that it was some Harvey Weinstein-type greaseball character that is responsible for the Olivia Colman nude scenes that should not be, but it was none other than Nativity! creator and frequent Martin Freeman collaborator Debbie Isitt. Well, she was the director and writer of the film in any event, which once again reinforces my oft-repeated belief that women direct and write some of the best nude scenes. Before you ask, yes, Martin Freeman is in Confetti as well, but no, Bilbo Baggins does not get his dick out. And while we’re at it, we don’t see co-stars Meredith MacNeill or Jessica Hynes nude either. The only naturists from among the main characters are Olivia and Robert Webb’s characters.

But to compensate for that, we sure do see Olivia Colman topless a lot in Confetti. For starters, she is literally completely naked for the majority of her scenes, and in some portion of them, she’s topless but wearing a scarf-like thing around her waist. Very frustratingly, these tend to be the scenes where we would have gotten a nice, close-up frontal shot of her trimmed pubic region, but to be fair, that’s almost certainly why she was wearing the scarf in those moments in the first place. That’s not to say that we got nothing close. There were quite a few scenes where her bush is on show and even a few frames where if you look really, really, really, really hard, you can just about make out her pussy lips. Very nice. Very nice indeed.

Confetti remains the only movie where you can see Olivia Colman’s tits, and with her meteoric success over the past decade, this is unlikely to change. Add into the equation that these nude scenes should not have been released in the first place, and that makes it a near certainty. But realistically, after winning the six million prestigious awards that she has, including a literal Oscar, I don’t imagine the 48-year-old actress starring in a string of boob scenes now. I appreciate that didn’t stop Emma Thompson in the most explicit nude scenes of her career, and in her 60s, no less, but that’s far from standard. When there is famine in the future, the best we can do is remember the feasts of the past, and so I give you Olivia Colman naked in Confetti.

Rachel McAdams Naked – My Name Is Tanino – HD Stream

Hunting for footage of Rachel McAdams naked in the films she has been in is a bit of a disorienting experience. It’s counterintuitive, but Rachel McAdams nude scenes are so few, far between, dark, and limited in view, that it’s almost easier to just tell yourself that the Canadian actress has never really done any on-screen nudity. But the thing is that there is actually one nude scene from her that ticks (almost) all of the boxes in the best way possible, and it’s in a film that no one really talks about, which I suppose isn’t that bizarre considering it’s a small-ish Italian film with not quite the same reach as, say, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. (Yes, Rachel McAdams is in that one as Doctor Christine Palmer, but no, as with all Marvel Avengers bullshit dirt, there is no nudity.)

The seminal moment I’m talking about is, of course, Rachel McAdams nude in My Name Is Tanino. This is her nude debut, but it’s a bit more than that in terms of foundations of her career. My Name Is Tanino came out in 2002, only a year after her first screen role. Perhaps more importantly for why it was and continues to be so easily forgotten is that it first screened at the Venice Film Festival barely a few months before The Hot Chick released to theaters. Now, while The Hot Chick is neither a cinematic masterpiece nor a hotbed of nude scenes (spoiler alert: it has none), its Hollywood pedigree is significantly more established, and indeed, it was responsible for kickstarting the Ontario native’s career.

But we’re here to talk about times that we’ve seen Rachel McAdams nude, not times that we haven’t. I guess My Name Is Tanino came at the right point in her career for that. Why do I say that? Because unlike in future nude scenes from the actress, in which it’s all about the subtle “artistic” nudity, in this one, she just spends a while running around a beach topless and swimming in a sea topless and appearing in a flashback topless. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a whole lot more gratuitous than the kinds of “tasteful” flashes we see elsewhere. What’s more, whether it was filmed on location or in a studio, her nude scenes are all set on hot, sunny days, so the nudity is about as well lit as can be. The biggest downside we face is that there is yet to be a blu ray release, and the streaming version suffers from – to be polite – imperfect video quality.

The good news for you, dear fapper, is that if you really absolutely need to see Rachel McAdams topless on blu ray, every single other film she has done a nude scene in has a blu ray release. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but in chronological order, these are The Notebook, a PG-13 film in which we get some nip and sideboob action during sex scenes; The Time Traveler’s Wife, another PG-13 film where she moons the camera with her bare ass (which I suppose is about right for the age rating); To the Wonder, in which Ben Affleck marvels at her tits as they bounce in his face; and Disobedience, in which she partakes in hardcore lesbian tomfoolery, including one scene of Kate Winslet spitting into her mouth, which is, depending on perspective, either more or less graphic than when she ate out Saoirse Ronan’s pussy in Ammonite.

Yeah, that will probably always remain the most explicit Rachel McAdams sex scene, but the honor of hosting the most gratuitous nudity from the actress is unlikely to ever pass from My Name Is Tanino. Don’t get me wrong – I am fully hoping it does, because even at 43 years old (as I write), she is still drop dead gorgeous. That said, there is a bit of a curse with actresses who enter the Marvel Cinematic Universe sort of calling it quits with appearing naked in films, so I have no plans to hold my breath for any amazing offerings at this stage. It’s all good, though, because we’ve got this and we always will. Enjoy Rachel McAdams naked in My Name Is Tanino.

Saoirse Ronan Naked – Ammonite – Blu ray

Yes, this really is 100% Saoirse Ronan naked. No, it is not the most explicit nude scene ever filmed, nor anywhere close. I’m getting both of those out of the way right from the start because I don’t want anyone to be disappointed if they were expecting something more graphic, and I don’t want anyone crying fake or body double or anything like that. The important thing to focus on in times of nudity famine is that we very genuinely did get to see Saoirse Ronan nude in Ammonite. While I’m getting bad news out of the way, I’ll add that the original scene is so dark, that even with the blu ray as a source and no further compression, the range of light was narrow enough that it begins to look like absolute ass when you bump it up.

Speaking of ass, that’s most of what we get to see from Saoirse Ronan nude in Ammonite. The context is that Kate Winslet is eating her pussy out. No, I’m not joking. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s about famed paleontologist Mary Anning and geologist Charlotte Murchison, whom the filmmaker has decided were secretly in a lesbian relationship in the 1840s. I’m still not joking. It’s the kind of fanfiction you read on Wattpad. That’s not to say I disliked the movie. I thought it was great. After all, it is literally the only film in which we can see Saoirse Ronan naked.

Someone is going to point out that very early in the American-born Irish actress’ career, we did see Saoirse Ronan nude in How I Live Now (2013). You would certainly be forgiven for assuming that was legit. After all, Saoirse herself talked in an interview with MTV (YouTube mirror) about filming a sex scene in that movie and being half-naked… but that’s the hint, isn’t it? “Half-naked.” If she was only half-naked in her nude scenes, then who was completely naked in her nude scenes? The answer is Laura Harold. Very nice body, but we can equivocally confirm that Saoirse Ronan did use a body double in How I Live Now.

As for the Saoirse Ronan sex scene with Kate Winslet in Ammonite, all indication is that it is all her. It’s true that we don’t see Soairse’s boobs and face in the same frame – like, ever – but one or two shots do pan between them without a cut. Glamour certainly felt it was sufficiently intimate and authentic, but if that’s not enough for you, the Daily Mail have an entire article about how honored Saoirse was to rub her pussy lips all over Kate Winslet’s face on her birthday. And then there’s some other very explicit sex talk in it for good measure. Quite unexpected from an actress that hadn’t done nude scenes before and hasn’t done them since, but I sure ain’t complaining. Here’s Saoirse Ronan naked in Ammonite.