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Victoria Carmen Sonne Naked – Teenland – HD Stream

I do like a bit of international flavor at the expense of star power every now and then, so today’s post is about Victoria Carmen Sonne naked in Teenland. I’d like to get it out there, lest anyone accuses me of weak research for a website held in such high esteem by everyone, that the Danish actress has, as of last year, been getting credited as Vic Carmen Sonne. I’m not “deadnaming” to be petty. I’m using Victoria as her name because that’s what she was credited as in Teenland, and indeed, that’s what she has been credited as in just about everything she’s done. The latter point suggests that this is what more people will know her as, and how can I serve fappers to my best potential if they can’t find the material they want to fap to easily?

Teenland is a delightful Danish short about an institute for, in the director’s own words, “teens who are so fucked emotionally that they have developed supernatural powers.” Minus the “teens” part, that probably describes everyone who spends inordinate amounts of time fapping to celebrity pictures and videos online. Or maybe I’m just projecting. Fapping for days on end is a genuine superpower, so at least that part is true. All of you do that too, right? Right? Anyway, in case you didn’t bother to click it the first time because you thought it was yet another blue-balling link to IMDB, you can actually watch the full short on Vimeo.

The first time we see Victoria Carmen Sonne nude in Teenland is in the opening scene of the short. The intro credits roll through, and we’re cut to her standing in a clinical room with a bunch of medical… things stuck onto her. Of course, she is dressed in nothing but a pair of pink panties. At first, you think that you’re not going to get much of a clear shot of the good stuff since the best you get at these opening moments is a dodgy reflection in a mirror, but then, after some dancing around, the camera cuts to a frontal shot. The panties are obviously present, but other than that, there is nothing obscuring the aforementioned good stuff and the lighting is good. This shot lingers for a number of seconds as Victoria’s character, Sally, is beckoned to approach the direction of the camera.

The next couple of scenes of Victoria Carmen Sonne topless aren’t as ideally fappable, but they ain’t bad either with some tactical freeze framing and solid color correction. There’s a scene of her in a bathtub, getting her head held underwater by Frederikke Dahl Hansen, who has her own nude scenes in this, by the way. That one has a few flashes of nip, but we get better in the scene of her and her co-star running down a hospital hallway, both topless, boobs bouncing. There’s an incredibly dark scene of the two actresses lying on mortuary slabs (as one does), and to be honest, I was surprised by how much nipple actually came out when I color corrected that one. I didn’t think much would be visible, but I was happy with my error in judgment.

For all the ass men out there who have been thoroughly disappointed in the constant presence of panties, the very last Victoria Carmen Sonne nude scene in the short finally sees them gone. Yes, she is completely naked while dancing in her room. We do see a hint of bush, but that mere hint is all there is there. The good news for you ass men is that the reason that we don’t get the full frontal is because she has her ass to the camera for most of it, only disappearing toward the end as she bends over backward, giving us a terrific shot of her hard pokies. I’m not going to babble on for much longer, but before I close, I do want to mention that this is yet another feature with a female director that manages to have superior nude scenes.

Pom Klementieff Naked – El Turrrf – HD Stream

There’s a sort of irony to how few and far between pictures of Pom Klementieff naked are. This is not her only nude scene. It’s not even one of two or three nude scenes. And yet, for some reason, Pom Klementieff nude pictures elude us like wage raises or our dads’ approval. There is another trend in all of the movies that French-Russian-Korean actress has done, which is that the nude scenes in them are intentionally limited in their fappability. To use this one, El Turrrf (yes, I definitely have the correct number of “R”s), as an example, Pom is out of focus for most of it. The latter half, where the camera is squarely on her, majestic tits close to the lens, the camera operator has his focus on the back of the naked dude’s head, rendering Pom in an unfortunate blur even when she’s not moving.

Other Pom Klementieff nude scenes are similarly cursed with such traits. In Hacker’s Game and Hacker’s Game Redux, the camera angles are unaccommodating and the lighting is limited. I do like sideboob. I really, truly do. However, to properly enjoy a sideboob shot, the camera should be at no more than around 90 degrees rotated from the front of the tit. Going a little bit over is all right, but the bigger the angle gets, the less of the boob is on show and therefore the less one can enjoy the aforementioned boob.

You can also kinda see Pom Klementieff nude in Loup, but to call that scene dark would be like to call the Atlantic Ocean wet. Ironically, the promo shoot they did for that same movie is a far better example of Pom Klementieff nude than the movie itself. One last dishonorable mention goes to the French miniseries, Pigalle, la nuit. It’s a series about strippers. Pom Klementieff plays a stripper. Pom Klementieff has a stripping scene. So far so good, right? Well no Pom Klementieff tits for you, because she wears nipple tape throughout the scene.

And maybe that’s the root of why there are so few Pom Klementieff NSFW pictures floating around. No one can be bothered to attempt to color correct them into acceptable fappability, and posting them as is just ends up disappointing all parties involved. I know that it’s not necessarily everyone’s first thought to want to see Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy nude, but to be fair, Pom is quite stunning beneath the bug alien makeup. She’s not bad looking even with the bug alien makeup. I’m sure there’s some or other fetish out there that that ties into.

Strangely enough, in spite of the awful focus, El Turrrf does remain the best place to see Pom Klementieff tits. The scene is far too short and, as mentioned, the focus really limits how much detail there is, but a spot of color correction here and there does wonders for what is a pretty well lit shot of her boobies. Perhaps that’s bigging it up a bit too much, but ultimately, I suspect we won’t be getting any new Pom Klementieff nude scenes past this point. I’m not saying she’s aging poorly. She still looks gorgeous. But becoming a big Disney Marvel Avengers actress tends to mean no more nudity. Truly the kiss of death. That said, the past is unerasable, so kick back and enjoy Pom Klementieff naked from El Turrrf.

Daniella Pineda Naked – Mr Roosevelt – HD Stream

I was surprised when I got an eyeful of Daniella Pineda naked when watching Mr Roosevelt a few days ago. It’s not often that I get blindsided by a nude scene. I pride myself on something that approaches an encyclopedic knowledge of film and television nudity, and yet this one surprised me, pleasantly of course. I had originally picked up Mr Roosevelt because I was aware that it contained the only ever nude scene from Noel Wells. That turned out to be multiple nude scenes from the star, but more than that, I learned, dick in hand, that the same movie also contains the only known Daniella Pineda nude scene in existence.

It was actually quite satisfying. Early on in the movie, we think we’re going to see Daniella Pineda naked when she takes her top off to get changed. Unfortunately, the camera is at the wrong angle and we just get a whole lot of back. Not even sideboob is visible. Just back. In retrospect, the whole thing has a sort of burlesque quality to it. It’s that infamous tease that everyone has a love-hate relationship with. But here is why it works out. First you think that you are about to get the Daniella Pineda nude scene that you’ve been waiting for so long. Then you realize that you are, in fact, not. Then, out of the fucking blue, boom, tits.

So the point where we finally get to see Daniella Pineda nude is partway through the movie. It overlaps with the biggest part of Noel Wells’ nude scenes, namely, the deliciously long scene where the protagonists are at the watering hole or river or reclaimed toxic waste dump. The movie had already established at this point that Daniella’s character is not at all fussed about public nudity, so it was not an abnormal progression to the story when she took her top off to enjoy the sun. What does surprise the viewer – or, at least, it did surprise me – is when, as the free-spirited character is taking her bikini top off, the camera stays firmly pointed on her titties.

Daniella Pineda, hot day, bikini top removed – if that’s not the recipe to a perfect day, I don’t know what is. Just to be clear, if the images on this page don’t paint a clear enough picture, the director – who, incidentally, is Noel Wells herself – was exceptionally generous with the gratuitousness of this nude scene. The lighting is exemplary, which I suppose isn’t surprising considering it’s set outdoors on a sunny day. The camera angles are absolutely uncompromising. We get multiple camera angles, and not a single one of them is stingy with how much nudity it captures. Honestly, the only thing missing here is a 4K UHD blu ray release, which would probably break the internet (and my wang).

If you’d to this point resigned yourself to searching for Daniella Pineda sexy photos because you didn’t think there was anything better, Merry Christmas. To be fair, it wouldn’t have taken much research to get to the conclusion that this nude scene exists. It’s the problem with just accepting for so long that an actress has never done a nude scene – you don’t try to look for one. Although she’s never been in the Mickey Mouse Club or whatever, the public image that she’s been cultivating for so long has just drilled it deep into my head that we will never see Daniella Pineda nude. More fool me, but at least I got a late present that I wasn’t expecting.

If you’ve been hunting high and low for some Daniella Pineda ass, though, I have bad news for you. She keeps her bikini bottoms on throughout this scene. You do get a fair bit of sideass, though. I don’t know if ass men enjoy sideass as much as boob men enjoy sideboob, but it’s there if you want it. If that doesn’t appeal to you, there is still that other video of her spreading her ass cheeks wide open. In any event, you will so more of Daniella Pineda nude in this movie than anywhere else.

Right up until a Daniella Pineda porn film comes out. I mean, there was this one… but… It’s actually interesting how gratuitous this nude scene of hers is considering how averse to nudity she is in everything else she has been in. Do we get a whole lot of cleavage from her in TBS’s The Detour? Sure, but cleavage will only ever be only partial boobs, and let’s be honest, it was TBS, which means that there were never going to be any nude scenes. The situation with American Odyssey was not dissimilar. Yes, she was technically naked in it, but again, NBC production means no nipples on screen. Curse you, Tipper Gore, and your puritanical ways.

Something that we can probably all agree would have benefited from the inclusion of Daniella Pineda topless is Netflix’s adaptation of Cowboy Bebop. God forbid Netflix should stoop to something as lowbrow as nude scenes in their productions. A Faye Valentine lesbian sex scene? Yeah, that’s perfectly wholesome and family-friendly. But a hint of nip!? No, that would be the work of the Devil. The joke is clearly on Netflix since they ended up having to cancel the show. But the funny thing is that that’s not even the full picture. The show did have nudity, but it was just always a sort of background affair, and what everyone was blatantly obviously interested in was seeing Daniella Pineda nude.

In spite of all of those disappointments, you can bring your desperate, last-ditch search for Daniella Pineda leaked nudes to an end, because you can get the full enchilada from Mr Roosevelt, courtesy of director Noel Wells. I have mused countless times about how female directors direct the best nude scenes, including in the last post, so I won’t bore everyone to tears by repeating it all again here. Instead, brush the Cheeto dust off your hands, unzip your trousers, and enjoy the glory of Daniella Pineda nude.

Noel Wells Naked – Mr Roosevelt – HD Stream

I initially picked up Mr Roosevelt to watch so that I could see Noel Wells naked. What can I say? I have simple needs, and they usually involve boobs, which makes the fact that I live in the internet era quite serendipitous. But watching Mr Roosevelt was itself also quite serendipitous because I got a whole lot more out of it that seeing Noel Wells nude. First of all, she doesn’t just have one nude scene; she has multiple. Secondly there was also a nude scene by Daniella Pineda, which probably could have saved Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop adaptation, but that’s another story. Thirdly, the nudity was actually surprisingly long, considering Mr Roosevelt is not a lewd movie or a titty film by design. But fourthly and finally, I actually really enjoyed the movie. It’s true. I didn’t fast-forward to skip right to the nude scenes even once.

It’s easy to get jaded by the film industry, with every movie following the same formula, being written by the same handful of writers, starring the same revolving door of manufactured stars. Mr Roosevelt suffered none of those ills. What I got from it, far beyond my original goal of tracking down the only Noel Wells nude scenes in existence, was a movie that was well-written, well-acted, authentically funny, and just all-round authentic. The nudity is just a bonus. A great bonus, but a bonus nonetheless. And incidentally, I use this movie as yet another example of female writers and directors being responsible for some of the best nude scenes in film and television. We’d explored this point earlier with Emily Mortimer’s incredible nude scenes in Nicole Holofcener’s Lovely & Amazing and then before that with the stellar nude scenes from Anna Maxwell Martin, Claire Foy and Anna Wilson-Jones in Paula Milne’s BBC production, The Night Watch.

The most satisfying part of the Noel Wells nude scenes in Mr Roosevelt is that the female writer and director in question is Noel Wells herself. Debut directing her own debut nude scene in her film writing debut is truly offering it all to the world, and the world is thankful. Or I am, anyway. And so is my wang, even if it is a bit raw from multi-rounding this one. So worth it, though. Stamina loss is temporary. Boobs are forever.

The first time we see Noel Wells topless in Mr Roosevelt is when she goes out to a swimming hole somewhere around Austin with a group of newly-met friends. Said friends all get undressed down to their bikinis and then take their bikini tops off almost immediately, because why not add an extra step? Emily, Noel’s character, looks uncomfortable, but peer pressure kicks in, and she takes her top off… until she gets offered to take a hit of a crack pipe in exchange for putting her top back on. But not so fast, for mere minutes later, cause for celebration makes her rip her bikini top right off, and she spends the rest of the scene with her boobs out. Glorious.

Toward the end of the movie, we see some nippage and plenty of sideboob from Noel Wells one last time during a sex scene. The flashes were too quick and the angles too stark for these bits to be big league fap material, but they do make for a nice dessert to finish the nudity phase of the movie off. All in all, I give the movie a solid masturb8 out of 8 for many reasons, one of which is that, as I write, this is still the only feature in which we can see both Daniella Pineda and Noel Wells naked. And just to be clear, I don’t mean that it’s the only movie that we can see them both naked at the same time (although, incidentally, we do); I mean that both actresses have no other nude scenes in existence. Combine that fact with it sharing a name with two presidents, and I think Mr Roosevelt is a clear candidate for preservation in the Library of Congress.

Lynsey Taylor Mackay Naked – Under The Skin – 4K Stream

Imagine you get your big break. It’s going to be a big budget movie with some big names involved. This is the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for. You have to do a full frontal nude scene with your labia completely on show, but you see it as a necessary way to break into the film industry. You do the scene, the movie comes out, and you find out that the same movie also contains multiple full frontal nude scenes from Scarlett Johansson. I imagine it’s like if your band gets signed to play a gig at a large venue, only to find out that Megadeth will be playing down the road at the exact same time.

Lynsey Taylor Mackay played the essential role of The Dead Woman in Under The Skin. I’m not just saying that because I forgot her character’s name. I’m saying that because that’s literally how she’s credited. The tragedy is that her performance, silent though it was, was perfect. What’s more, her naked body looks great. And yet, I guarantee you most people who watched Under The Skin more than a few months ago will have forgotten that she was even in it. Life is truly cruel. So I’ll do my part in immortalizing this performance by color correcting all the naughty bits to perfectly, fap-ready visibility. You’re welcome, struggling artists of the world.

For those that have forgotten this scene, it involves a completely nude Scarlett Johansson stripping Lynsey Taylor Mackay’s clothes off as… of, sorry, did I forget to mention that one of Scarlett Johansson’s nude scenes was overlapping with this one? So I suppose it’s less like Megadeth are playing down the road and more like they’re playing just to the left of you and everyone in the audience thinks you’re just a gaggle of roadies that didn’t get off stage fast enough. So unfair. So very unfair. Oh well. Such is life. I, for one, am thankful to Lynsey for gracing us with this nude scene and wish her all the success in the future. As for all of you readers, you know very well what it’s time for.