Faptuary - Celebrity nude scenes, high definition media and bad decisions - Page 11

Mary-Louise Parker Naked – Angels in America – HD Stream

For all the times that we’ve gotten scenes featuring Mary-Louise Parker naked, I find it a bit ironic that only one of them ever gave us the all-fabled full frontal nudity that so many fappers seek. Most of you will recognize the classic, and those that don’t can surely read the title on the top of this page, but I’m talking about the Mary-Louise Parker nude scene in HBO’s Angels in America. What you won’t recognize unless you’ve visited this exact page before is the new lick of color correction I’ve given it. I appreciate the fact that there are a few noticeable artifacts dotted here and there – certainly more than I’m normally satisfied with in my work – but given the quality of the original, that was always going to be unavoidable.

Just to be clear, in spite of it all, what you’re seeing on this page involved exactly zero AI upscaling. The entire process was done by pulling out details that are in the original footage, even though they may be hard or almost impossible to make out by the naked human eye in any of the original airs or releases. There’s a significance to this all, and that’s that what you’re seeing here is really 100% Mary-Louise Parker naked. None of this was “dreamed” by AI or recreated using galleries of similar content scrubbed from some training server. That clear cleft between Mary-Louise Parker’s pussy lips – it’s all her. It was always there; it’s just clearer to see now.

I do feel like it bears bringing up because for all of the times that this very specific Mary-Louise Parker nude scene has been posted throughout the internet, the quality has always been absolute ass. It’s not something anyone can blame the original cappers for either. I really can’t be bothered to dig into the technical details of how HBO did or didn’t shoot Angels in America, but it’s not exactly the crispest image around. The good news, of course, is that as long as I can get it in at least 1080p full HD and without inappropriate levels of compression, there’s usually a whole lot more information hidden in the pixels than people realize. In this case, it’s our favorite Southern girl’s outer labia peeking out from beneath her regal bush. Truly the best of both worlds.

I’m not going to do a full descriptor of every scene in which we have ever seen Mary-Louise Parker naked, but I will do a rundown of films to catch if you want to complete your collection. OK, everyone ready? Here goes. Grand Canyon (1991), the appropriately named Naked in New York (1993), Mr. Wonderful (1993), Goodbye Lover (1998), Let the Devil Wear Black (1999), The Five Senses (1999), Master Spy: The Robert Hanssen Story (2002), and of course I would be derelict in my duties to the highest degree if I didn’t mention the Showtime series Weeds, which was about a single mother battling against inflation in landscaping rates or something. In any event, it got a lot of nudity out of the actress, including the infamous bathtub scene, which I’ve always felt evoked the similarly legendary bathtub scene from both versions of Shameless. But let’s not go down too many tangents. Let’s enjoy Mary-Louise Parker nude in Angels in America instead.

Margaret Qualley Naked – Stars at Noon – HD Stream

I always knew I enjoyed seeing Margaret Qualley naked, but I never realized just how much I would enjoy seeing Margaret Qualley naked while sitting on a toilet. Just to be clear, it’s her sitting on the toilet, not me. Although I could sit on the toilet too while having a fap to Margaret sitting on the toilet. Is there a variation of the blumpkin that involves masturbation instead of a blowjob? Anyway, no blumpkins occur in Stars at Noon, but what does occur very often is footage of Margaret Qualley nude. I’m not joking when I say that there were so many nude scenes wherein the actress got her clothes off, that I almost got bored of them. Almost.

Stars at Noon is a bit of a strange egg. For starters, IMDB states, as I write, that it’s set in 1984. The characters also have mobile phones and have to constantly go through COVID-19 checkpoints and wear those insufferable blue masks. There are a number of explanations for this. Explanation 1 is that the film is anachronistic and brings modern technological and cultural dynamics to 80s Nicaragua. I like this explanation. It makes it quite magical. Explanation 2 is that IMDB is wrong. In fact, by the time you’re reading this, that link up there might no longer even say anything about it being 1984. Explanation 3 is that everyone is stupid except for me. Jury’s still out.

I’m certainly not finding reasons to complain about a movie that gives us Margaret Qualley nude scenes as often as Stars at Noon does. I just find it all very idiosyncratic. In the nicest way possible, of course. The other thing that stands out about Stars at Noon is something I alluded to earlier, and that’s that it’s the first movie I’ve seen that fits an aesthetic that has now reached film – covidcore. I’m sure when cowboys were herding cattle on the western frontier or sodomizing one another or whatever, they never thought that their way of life would become an entire genre, and now we are experiencing the same.

And I’m really glad that they got Margaret Qualley topless in Stars at Noon, because if they hadn’t, I would not yet have discovered this ridiculous genre any more than if I hadn’t watched Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy for the incredible nude scenes, I wouldn’t have researched Lucy Aarden and found her role in Nemesis and thus discovered the asdacore genre. Admittedly, as a non-member of the British organized crime world, covidcore is a bit more relatable for me compared to asdacore, but all the geezers in the latter genre are about 60-years-old, so I’ve still got time to achieve that lifestyle. Wait, what were we talking about?

The six million Margaret Qualley sex scenes in Stars at Noon, of course. Joe Alwyn co-stars, and apparently there has been some thirst to see him naked. I’m sorry to inform all the ladies and gayboys reading this that we do not see Joe Alwyn nude in Stars at Noon. Yes, he is in a lot of the sex scenes and the character is presumably unclothed, but no penis ever appears on the screen. It’s actually kind of ironic considering Claire Denis is both the writer and director of Stars at Night, and she is unlikely to have the same aversion to male nudity in film that good ol’ boy directors might. That said, my philosophy – which I’ve repeated time and time again across many posts on the Faptuary – is that women write and direct some of the best nude scenes involving actresses, not actors, so I suppose it still works.

I’m not going to go into a breakdown of every time we see Margaret Qualley naked because the scenes are many and kind of repetitive in their content. The variations are major enough to be noticeable but not major enough to warrant individual descriptors. The short version is as follows: There are lots of sex scenes. There is no full frontal nudity, even though Margaret Qualley has form for it. The nude scenes are gratuitous as anything. Seriously, the movie could have functioned the same without 90% of them, which really just makes me appreciate the filmmaker’s efforts that much more. I actually have for a while and continue to intend to cover some more nudity from the actress, but all in due time. In the meanwhile, enjoy Margaret Qualley nude in Stars at Noon below.

Ana de Armas Naked – Blonde – 4K Stream

I’d be willing to bet that I saw Ana de Armas naked before almost 100% of people reading this post right now. No, we didn’t used to date in college, though that would be one hell of a story. Any Spaniards and Cubans reading this may have the drop on me since it was already 5 years after her very first role – back when she was 16 years old in Virgin Rose/Una rosa de Francia (2006) – but my story begins in 2011, when I was browsing through Vimeo and stumbled upon a video. It was for a short film called Ánima by Cuban filmmaker Ana Victoria Pérez. As is the case so often, a female director means an awesome nude scene, and that’s exactly what I was awed by when watching that short. Seeing Ana de Armas nude in Ánima was nothing short of a spiritual experience for me. I’ve ranked her as one of the most beautiful actresses to have ever lived from that day more than a decade ago.

But it didn’t end there. We saw Ana de Armas nude again quite a few more times, but this time, in Hollywood. The first time Tinseltown brought us the Cuban goddess’ naked body was in her breakout international role as Bell in the Eli Roth film Knock Knock. Somehow, even all this time later, I haven’t seen that film. But you know what? I don’t need to. When it came out, all the Ana de Armas nudity from it was plastered all over the internet pretty much non-stop. I’m obviously not complaining. That scene of her standing in a bathroom with soapy tits and dripping wet is iconic and will never not evoke a fap regardless of whether I’m alone at home, rubbing one out in an office toilet cubicle, or at a funeral.

That scene of Ana de Armas nude was so enthralling, that it took me months – maybe even years – to notice that Lorenza Izzo got naked in that movie too, and I’d been wanting to see more of that since I watched the Green Inferno remake, which incidentally was also an Eli Roth film. Two years after Knock Knock, we of course saw Ana de Armas naked again in her even more breakout-y role as the virtual Joi in Blade Runner 2049. Or rather, we thought we did. Bad news, fellas – the giant Joi hologram with her tits out is all CGI. Yep, I too thought – nay, prayed – that it was just a whole lot of compositing action and that those really were the perky Ana de Armas boobs that we all known and love, but alas, those titties were just vertices and shading.

She more than made up for it, though, since we did see Ana de Armas topless in literally half of the next 6 movies that she did. For those wanting to dig into some research, perhaps to set yourself off for a good night’s sleep, I’m referring to Netflix’s Wasp Network from 2019 and Sergio and The Night Clerk both from 2020. None of those 3 films’ nude scenes gained that much traction, Ana or not, but that brings us to a film from earlier this year – the Hulu original Deep Water.

If you’ve been especially itching for an Ana de Armas sex scene with Ben Affleck, that movie will answer your prayers. If you wanted the Havana native dressed for them, then by some bizarre stroke of fortune, even luckier for you. Don’t worry if that doesn’t float your boat, though, because the movie is plenty enough NSFW. If you were planning to go into it to see Ana de Armas nudes, then Ana de Armas nudes you will see. But if only she could do a movie like that but so much more gratuitous. If only we could get a movie with tons and tons of completely unnecessary but wholly satisfying Ana de Armas nude scenes. If only Netflix could make something like that happen. But nah. Netflix tends to shy away from nudity, and when they touch it, it’s rarely gratuitous…

And yet they gave us about a million shots of Ana de Armas’ tits in the Marilyn Monroe biopic Blonde. So many titty scenes, man. So many. I saw Ana de Armas’ boobs so many times in Blonde that I almost got bored of them by the end. Almost. Julianne Nicholson made for a nice starter to that film, which probably helped the nudity from Ana avoid looking too forced, though it was plentiful. At the same time, it was somehow surprisingly subtle – understated, almost. It did include a lot of recreations of famous Marilyn Monroe nude moments, not missing out on the iconic Golden Dreams calendar shoot.

There are of course other movies and television series with Ana de Armas, NSFW scenes and all, but many of them are lesser known, so I won’t go into details. I’m only going to say that the whipping scene in Hispania, la leyenda would evoke some hardcore vibes of Karen Hassan in Vikings, but sadly, Ana is wearing a tunic during it. It is see-through, to be fair, but it’s just not the same. Anyway, I cannot tell you what a struggle this one has been to color correct and all, but I reckon it’s been well worth it. God only knows how this is the first time I’ve covered one of my favorite naked actresses between this Faptuary and the last one, but I’m glad that when the time finally came, it came with a film with such great nudity. Here’s Ana de Armas nude in Blonde in ultra HD 4K resolution.

Julianne Nicholson Naked – Blonde – 4K Stream

As many times as we’ve all seen Julianne Nicholson naked, she has this sort of air around her of being a part of very few nude scenes in film and television. I don’t believe this is just some bizarre perception on my part. I think it’s to do with the way the nude scenes she’s in are shot and edited. To illustrate, let me start with one of her earlier nude scenes – Flannel Pajamas. I remember seeing the Julianne Nicholson nude scene in Flannel Pajamas not long after it came out back in 2006, and sweet Lord in heaven, I was blown away. It was one of my favorite nude scenes of all time back then and continues to be. The difference then was that we didn’t have so many blu rays and 4K streaming services to contend with, so it didn’t stick out that it didn’t have an HD release. It sure as hell sticks out now.

The nude scene itself was amazing, though. We got to see full frontal nudity from Julianne Nicholson, and it was glorious. The whole thing was well lit, of course. There were no objects in the way and the camera was steady too. Absolutely legendary. Compare that to her nude scenes in Her Name Is Carla – yet another film with no HD release as I write. In that one, we do get some great shots of her tits that last a long time and are decently enough lit, but it’s not quite the glory of Flannel Pajamas. And now that we’ve gotten those two out of the way, there’s everything else, and everything else leaves a lot of magic to be desired.

We saw Julianne Nicholson nude in Kinsey, William Vincent, Boardwalk Empire, Sophie and the Rising Sun, and Initials SG, and every single one of those nude scenes failed to hit the mark. Yes, we did technically get to see some pieces of Julianne Nicholson naked, but “some pieces” really is the key to what went wrong. Quick shots, close zooms with no face in the same shot, low lighting, and pretty much every other trick in the book to have a nude scene that does genuinely have nudity but to have it be unsatisfying nonetheless. It’s like the worst of both worlds. Absolutely shameful, especially since we got a taste of that majestic ginger bush in Flannel Pajamas.

But then all was made right when we got to see Julianne Nicholson topless in this year’s Marilyn Monroe biopic Blonde. The 51-year-old Massachusetts native doesn’t play Marilyn Monroe – that role and all the nude scenes it comes with goes to the beautiful Ana De Armas – but our Detective Megan Wheeler does play Norma Jeane’s mother Gladys, a role she spends a good while naked in. First we see her topless as she’s trying to drown her daughter in a bathtub, then sitting on the floor while wet and crying and still topless, and then her grand finale offers us full frontal nudity as she closes the door of her home, flashing her bush to the neighbors in the process. And because this is a new Netflix production, we get it in crystal clear 4K Ultra HD resolution (albeit with an unusual 4:3 aspect ratio). So after more than a decade and a half of waiting, here’s Julianne Nicholson naked in Blonde.

Hanna Hall Naked – Halloween – Blu ray

We saw Hanna Hall naked in Rob Zombie’s Halloween before we did any of the other characters, which I suppose is quite appropriate considering this was the Denverite’s nude debut. Some Rob Zombie fanatics might point out that Sheri Moon Zombie’s stripper scene preceded this one. You are correct, but sadly, as great as it is to watch her dance around a stripper’s pole, we don’t actually get to see Sheri Moon Zombie nude in this movie. But dry your eyes, dear fappers, because there is more than enough nudity to go around here, not least of which is the extensive nudity from co-star Danielle Harris, and in her nude debut, no less.

The movie also gives us some awesome full frontal nudity from Kristina Klebe, but whether that’s up yet or not will depend on whether you’re seeing any links in this sentence. You know what to do if they’re there. As for the nudity from Hanna Hall, it begins with what would otherwise be the end of a sex scene. The guy does us a favor and gets out of the way, giving us a number of shots of Hanna’s tits as she lies on her back in the bed. Rob Zombie put a tasteful loopy-meshy curtain between the actress and the camera, but the holes are wide enough to not obscure too much of the action. Certainly nothing is permanently excluded by the curtain, even if her nipples aren’t full visible in every single last frame.

We see Hanna Hall nude once more a few minutes later when she’s putting her tank top back on. Of course, the shot begins while she is still topless. Mr. Zombie sure knows how to treat his audience right. This pair of nude scene are satisfying but quite short. The good news for you is that they are far from the only nudes from the actress. If volume is what you’re after, you can see Hanna Hall naked quite a lot in Happiness Runs, which preceded her brief nude scene in Scalene, before she did her last nude scene for an episode of the delectably named Masters of Sex. Masters of Sex is actually on my radar, so we might be seeing (or have already seen) some of that later, but in the meantime, enjoy Hanna Hall naked in Halloween.