I always knew I enjoyed seeing Margaret Qualley naked, but I never realized just how much I would enjoy seeing Margaret Qualley naked while sitting on a toilet. Just to be clear, it’s her sitting on the toilet, not me. Although I could sit on the toilet too while having a fap to Margaret sitting on the toilet. Is there a variation of the blumpkin that involves masturbation instead of a blowjob? Anyway, no blumpkins occur in Stars at Noon, but what does occur very often is footage of Margaret Qualley nude. I’m not joking when I say that there were so many nude scenes wherein the actress got her clothes off, that I almost got bored of them. Almost.
Stars at Noon is a bit of a strange egg. For starters, IMDB states, as I write, that it’s set in 1984. The characters also have mobile phones and have to constantly go through COVID-19 checkpoints and wear those insufferable blue masks. There are a number of explanations for this. Explanation 1 is that the film is anachronistic and brings modern technological and cultural dynamics to 80s Nicaragua. I like this explanation. It makes it quite magical. Explanation 2 is that IMDB is wrong. In fact, by the time you’re reading this, that link up there might no longer even say anything about it being 1984. Explanation 3 is that everyone is stupid except for me. Jury’s still out.
I’m certainly not finding reasons to complain about a movie that gives us Margaret Qualley nude scenes as often as Stars at Noon does. I just find it all very idiosyncratic. In the nicest way possible, of course. The other thing that stands out about Stars at Noon is something I alluded to earlier, and that’s that it’s the first movie I’ve seen that fits an aesthetic that has now reached film – covidcore. I’m sure when cowboys were herding cattle on the western frontier or sodomizing one another or whatever, they never thought that their way of life would become an entire genre, and now we are experiencing the same.
And I’m really glad that they got Margaret Qualley topless in Stars at Noon, because if they hadn’t, I would not yet have discovered this ridiculous genre any more than if I hadn’t watched Death Race 4: Beyond Anarchy for the incredible nude scenes, I wouldn’t have researched Lucy Aarden and found her role in Nemesis and thus discovered the asdacore genre. Admittedly, as a non-member of the British organized crime world, covidcore is a bit more relatable for me compared to asdacore, but all the geezers in the latter genre are about 60-years-old, so I’ve still got time to achieve that lifestyle. Wait, what were we talking about?
The six million Margaret Qualley sex scenes in Stars at Noon, of course. Joe Alwyn co-stars, and apparently there has been some thirst to see him naked. I’m sorry to inform all the ladies and gayboys reading this that we do not see Joe Alwyn nude in Stars at Noon. Yes, he is in a lot of the sex scenes and the character is presumably unclothed, but no penis ever appears on the screen. It’s actually kind of ironic considering Claire Denis is both the writer and director of Stars at Night, and she is unlikely to have the same aversion to male nudity in film that good ol’ boy directors might. That said, my philosophy – which I’ve repeated time and time again across many posts on the Faptuary – is that women write and direct some of the best nude scenes involving actresses, not actors, so I suppose it still works.
I’m not going to go into a breakdown of every time we see Margaret Qualley naked because the scenes are many and kind of repetitive in their content. The variations are major enough to be noticeable but not major enough to warrant individual descriptors. The short version is as follows: There are lots of sex scenes. There is no full frontal nudity, even though Margaret Qualley has form for it. The nude scenes are gratuitous as anything. Seriously, the movie could have functioned the same without 90% of them, which really just makes me appreciate the filmmaker’s efforts that much more. I actually have for a while and continue to intend to cover some more nudity from the actress, but all in due time. In the meanwhile, enjoy Margaret Qualley nude in Stars at Noon below.
