1080p Nude - Page 15

Kristen Connolly Naked – House of Cards – Blu ray

I realized last week that I really wanted to see Kristen Connolly naked. I was sitting in my hotel room in Amsterdam at night, having just been blue balled by the shameful sanitization of the city’s Red Light District. I got back to the foul, body odor-smelling room I paid a small fortune for and got blue balled yet again by the TV. You see, The Cabin in the Woods was playing. Cabin in the Woods hints at a Kristen Connolly nude scene a whopping three times throughout the course of the movie. Three goddamn times! It goes without that it never delivers. Before you say that Joss Whedon doesn’t do nude scenes (of his actresses, not of himself), Cabin in the Woods actually had one, so there really is no excuse. More on that in a second.

The first hint we get that we are going to see Kristen Connolly nude in Cabin in the Woods is right near the beginning of the film. She’s parading around her college dorm room in a top and no pants. No, she’s not Donald Ducking it, but the panties set the scene, especially with the revolving door of other characters wandering around her, including Chris Hemsworth, who informs her at the end of the scene that she is indeed not wearing pants. Obviously not the kind of thing that one notices about themselves, but we did get an eyeful of Kristen Connelly ass, so who are we to complain?

The next tease we get for source material for Kristen Connolly nude pics is when the main characters go for a swim in a lake. The scene has actresses running around in bikinis, plenty of horseplay, and the people running the show talking about releasing pheromones. It seems obvious that it’s going for some nudity, right? Those Kristen Connolly nudes that we’ve hungered for so long are just around the corner, right? Nope, all you get is blue balls. Now, to be fair, we get some blue ball relief in the third and final hint, which is a nude scene from Anna Hutchison (of Spartacus fame), but alas, that only lines up with her being (spoiler alert) the ritual’s designated “whore,” whereas Dana, Kristen’s character, is the designated “virgin.”

Perhaps even more frustrating is that even if you wanted to scale your expectations right back, plop into Google Images, and type in “kristen connolly sexy,” you would get a whole lot of images that make your average PG-13 production look like a hardcore porn set. I’d make a point here about Disney Channel being less tame than these offerings, but frankly, where we’re going, former Disney starlets are some of the most explicit out there. Even in Cabin in the Woods, the shots that feature Kristen in a bikini are obscured and filmed from far away, and the panty shot from near the beginning of the film spends most of itself showing nothing but her legs, like we’re all a bunch of Second World War GIs that haven’t seen a woman in months and would take any scrap we can get.

So I suppose it’s some part funny and some part random that it ended up being House of Cards, of all things, that finally delivered the Kristen Connolly topless scene everyone has been waiting for. It is rather blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, I’m sorry to say, but we don’t really get to see Kristen Connolly nude anywhere else, so we can only be thankful to producer Kevin Spacey for making this happen. Then again, in light of what came after, maybe the whole situation is a bit dark. Speaking of, the debut episode of the show also has a scene of Kate Mara sitting on a toilet and taking a dump. Thought you ought to know. In any event, I present for you the 4 nanoseconds of the only scene in existence featuring Kristen Connolly nude.

Pom Klementieff Naked – El Turrrf – HD Stream

There’s a sort of irony to how few and far between pictures of Pom Klementieff naked are. This is not her only nude scene. It’s not even one of two or three nude scenes. And yet, for some reason, Pom Klementieff nude pictures elude us like wage raises or our dads’ approval. There is another trend in all of the movies that French-Russian-Korean actress has done, which is that the nude scenes in them are intentionally limited in their fappability. To use this one, El Turrrf (yes, I definitely have the correct number of “R”s), as an example, Pom is out of focus for most of it. The latter half, where the camera is squarely on her, majestic tits close to the lens, the camera operator has his focus on the back of the naked dude’s head, rendering Pom in an unfortunate blur even when she’s not moving.

Other Pom Klementieff nude scenes are similarly cursed with such traits. In Hacker’s Game and Hacker’s Game Redux, the camera angles are unaccommodating and the lighting is limited. I do like sideboob. I really, truly do. However, to properly enjoy a sideboob shot, the camera should be at no more than around 90 degrees rotated from the front of the tit. Going a little bit over is all right, but the bigger the angle gets, the less of the boob is on show and therefore the less one can enjoy the aforementioned boob.

You can also kinda see Pom Klementieff nude in Loup, but to call that scene dark would be like to call the Atlantic Ocean wet. Ironically, the promo shoot they did for that same movie is a far better example of Pom Klementieff nude than the movie itself. One last dishonorable mention goes to the French miniseries, Pigalle, la nuit. It’s a series about strippers. Pom Klementieff plays a stripper. Pom Klementieff has a stripping scene. So far so good, right? Well no Pom Klementieff tits for you, because she wears nipple tape throughout the scene.

And maybe that’s the root of why there are so few Pom Klementieff NSFW pictures floating around. No one can be bothered to attempt to color correct them into acceptable fappability, and posting them as is just ends up disappointing all parties involved. I know that it’s not necessarily everyone’s first thought to want to see Mantis from Guardians of the Galaxy nude, but to be fair, Pom is quite stunning beneath the bug alien makeup. She’s not bad looking even with the bug alien makeup. I’m sure there’s some or other fetish out there that that ties into.

Strangely enough, in spite of the awful focus, El Turrrf does remain the best place to see Pom Klementieff tits. The scene is far too short and, as mentioned, the focus really limits how much detail there is, but a spot of color correction here and there does wonders for what is a pretty well lit shot of her boobies. Perhaps that’s bigging it up a bit too much, but ultimately, I suspect we won’t be getting any new Pom Klementieff nude scenes past this point. I’m not saying she’s aging poorly. She still looks gorgeous. But becoming a big Disney Marvel Avengers actress tends to mean no more nudity. Truly the kiss of death. That said, the past is unerasable, so kick back and enjoy Pom Klementieff naked from El Turrrf.

Daniella Pineda Naked – Mr Roosevelt – HD Stream

I was surprised when I got an eyeful of Daniella Pineda naked when watching Mr Roosevelt a few days ago. It’s not often that I get blindsided by a nude scene. I pride myself on something that approaches an encyclopedic knowledge of film and television nudity, and yet this one surprised me, pleasantly of course. I had originally picked up Mr Roosevelt because I was aware that it contained the only ever nude scene from Noel Wells. That turned out to be multiple nude scenes from the star, but more than that, I learned, dick in hand, that the same movie also contains the only known Daniella Pineda nude scene in existence.

It was actually quite satisfying. Early on in the movie, we think we’re going to see Daniella Pineda naked when she takes her top off to get changed. Unfortunately, the camera is at the wrong angle and we just get a whole lot of back. Not even sideboob is visible. Just back. In retrospect, the whole thing has a sort of burlesque quality to it. It’s that infamous tease that everyone has a love-hate relationship with. But here is why it works out. First you think that you are about to get the Daniella Pineda nude scene that you’ve been waiting for so long. Then you realize that you are, in fact, not. Then, out of the fucking blue, boom, tits.

So the point where we finally get to see Daniella Pineda nude is partway through the movie. It overlaps with the biggest part of Noel Wells’ nude scenes, namely, the deliciously long scene where the protagonists are at the watering hole or river or reclaimed toxic waste dump. The movie had already established at this point that Daniella’s character is not at all fussed about public nudity, so it was not an abnormal progression to the story when she took her top off to enjoy the sun. What does surprise the viewer – or, at least, it did surprise me – is when, as the free-spirited character is taking her bikini top off, the camera stays firmly pointed on her titties.

Daniella Pineda, hot day, bikini top removed – if that’s not the recipe to a perfect day, I don’t know what is. Just to be clear, if the images on this page don’t paint a clear enough picture, the director – who, incidentally, is Noel Wells herself – was exceptionally generous with the gratuitousness of this nude scene. The lighting is exemplary, which I suppose isn’t surprising considering it’s set outdoors on a sunny day. The camera angles are absolutely uncompromising. We get multiple camera angles, and not a single one of them is stingy with how much nudity it captures. Honestly, the only thing missing here is a 4K UHD blu ray release, which would probably break the internet (and my wang).

If you’d to this point resigned yourself to searching for Daniella Pineda sexy photos because you didn’t think there was anything better, Merry Christmas. To be fair, it wouldn’t have taken much research to get to the conclusion that this nude scene exists. It’s the problem with just accepting for so long that an actress has never done a nude scene – you don’t try to look for one. Although she’s never been in the Mickey Mouse Club or whatever, the public image that she’s been cultivating for so long has just drilled it deep into my head that we will never see Daniella Pineda nude. More fool me, but at least I got a late present that I wasn’t expecting.

If you’ve been hunting high and low for some Daniella Pineda ass, though, I have bad news for you. She keeps her bikini bottoms on throughout this scene. You do get a fair bit of sideass, though. I don’t know if ass men enjoy sideass as much as boob men enjoy sideboob, but it’s there if you want it. If that doesn’t appeal to you, there is still that other video of her spreading her ass cheeks wide open. In any event, you will so more of Daniella Pineda nude in this movie than anywhere else.

Right up until a Daniella Pineda porn film comes out. I mean, there was this one… but… It’s actually interesting how gratuitous this nude scene of hers is considering how averse to nudity she is in everything else she has been in. Do we get a whole lot of cleavage from her in TBS’s The Detour? Sure, but cleavage will only ever be only partial boobs, and let’s be honest, it was TBS, which means that there were never going to be any nude scenes. The situation with American Odyssey was not dissimilar. Yes, she was technically naked in it, but again, NBC production means no nipples on screen. Curse you, Tipper Gore, and your puritanical ways.

Something that we can probably all agree would have benefited from the inclusion of Daniella Pineda topless is Netflix’s adaptation of Cowboy Bebop. God forbid Netflix should stoop to something as lowbrow as nude scenes in their productions. A Faye Valentine lesbian sex scene? Yeah, that’s perfectly wholesome and family-friendly. But a hint of nip!? No, that would be the work of the Devil. The joke is clearly on Netflix since they ended up having to cancel the show. But the funny thing is that that’s not even the full picture. The show did have nudity, but it was just always a sort of background affair, and what everyone was blatantly obviously interested in was seeing Daniella Pineda nude.

In spite of all of those disappointments, you can bring your desperate, last-ditch search for Daniella Pineda leaked nudes to an end, because you can get the full enchilada from Mr Roosevelt, courtesy of director Noel Wells. I have mused countless times about how female directors direct the best nude scenes, including in the last post, so I won’t bore everyone to tears by repeating it all again here. Instead, brush the Cheeto dust off your hands, unzip your trousers, and enjoy the glory of Daniella Pineda nude.

Noel Wells Naked – Mr Roosevelt – HD Stream

I initially picked up Mr Roosevelt to watch so that I could see Noel Wells naked. What can I say? I have simple needs, and they usually involve boobs, which makes the fact that I live in the internet era quite serendipitous. But watching Mr Roosevelt was itself also quite serendipitous because I got a whole lot more out of it that seeing Noel Wells nude. First of all, she doesn’t just have one nude scene; she has multiple. Secondly there was also a nude scene by Daniella Pineda, which probably could have saved Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop adaptation, but that’s another story. Thirdly, the nudity was actually surprisingly long, considering Mr Roosevelt is not a lewd movie or a titty film by design. But fourthly and finally, I actually really enjoyed the movie. It’s true. I didn’t fast-forward to skip right to the nude scenes even once.

It’s easy to get jaded by the film industry, with every movie following the same formula, being written by the same handful of writers, starring the same revolving door of manufactured stars. Mr Roosevelt suffered none of those ills. What I got from it, far beyond my original goal of tracking down the only Noel Wells nude scenes in existence, was a movie that was well-written, well-acted, authentically funny, and just all-round authentic. The nudity is just a bonus. A great bonus, but a bonus nonetheless. And incidentally, I use this movie as yet another example of female writers and directors being responsible for some of the best nude scenes in film and television. We’d explored this point earlier with Emily Mortimer’s incredible nude scenes in Nicole Holofcener’s Lovely & Amazing and then before that with the stellar nude scenes from Anna Maxwell Martin, Claire Foy and Anna Wilson-Jones in Paula Milne’s BBC production, The Night Watch.

The most satisfying part of the Noel Wells nude scenes in Mr Roosevelt is that the female writer and director in question is Noel Wells herself. Debut directing her own debut nude scene in her film writing debut is truly offering it all to the world, and the world is thankful. Or I am, anyway. And so is my wang, even if it is a bit raw from multi-rounding this one. So worth it, though. Stamina loss is temporary. Boobs are forever.

The first time we see Noel Wells topless in Mr Roosevelt is when she goes out to a swimming hole somewhere around Austin with a group of newly-met friends. Said friends all get undressed down to their bikinis and then take their bikini tops off almost immediately, because why not add an extra step? Emily, Noel’s character, looks uncomfortable, but peer pressure kicks in, and she takes her top off… until she gets offered to take a hit of a crack pipe in exchange for putting her top back on. But not so fast, for mere minutes later, cause for celebration makes her rip her bikini top right off, and she spends the rest of the scene with her boobs out. Glorious.

Toward the end of the movie, we see some nippage and plenty of sideboob from Noel Wells one last time during a sex scene. The flashes were too quick and the angles too stark for these bits to be big league fap material, but they do make for a nice dessert to finish the nudity phase of the movie off. All in all, I give the movie a solid masturb8 out of 8 for many reasons, one of which is that, as I write, this is still the only feature in which we can see both Daniella Pineda and Noel Wells naked. And just to be clear, I don’t mean that it’s the only movie that we can see them both naked at the same time (although, incidentally, we do); I mean that both actresses have no other nude scenes in existence. Combine that fact with it sharing a name with two presidents, and I think Mr Roosevelt is a clear candidate for preservation in the Library of Congress.

Eva Hamilton Naked – Ruin Me – HD Stream

Lately I’ve developed a somewhat unhealthy obsession with hunting down all material that includes Eva Hamilton naked. I always imagine that’s the point of nude scenes – getting sad fappers to shell out their hard-earned money for a movie just to see the actress’ tits. I ain’t even mad, though. Ruin Me was actually a pretty fun movie. It tells of a group of people entering a sort of escape room-type situation, but it’s set in a forest. So like an escape forest… or something. Such a scenario obviously lends itself to plenty of nudity, so I suppose it’s ironic that none of the nude scenes – or rather, the only nude scene – actually has nothing to do with the escape room scenario.

I’m obviously not complaining about the circumstances in which we got to marvel at Eva Hamilton’s nude body. I just wish there were more nude scenes. But then, I had the same opinion about Room in Rome, and that movie has more nude scenes than non-nude scenes. Perhaps we could have gotten a chance to see Marcienne Dwyer nude. She did play the protagonist, but then there’s that weird thing about female protagonists in films – not simply “the female lead,” but the actual protagonist when the character is a woman – rarely getting naked, no matter how many other actresses in the same film do get naked. The most common exceptions seem to be BBC productions and films directed by women.

So what exactly is the context in which we see Eva Hamilton nude? Well, the main characters are all sitting around a campfire, and Eva’s character suggests a game of truth or dare, before announcing her intent to skip the boring bits and just get naked. And then she does get naked, because why not. In an inexplicable turn of events, all of the men present dislike this move. This includes the self-admitted virgin of the group who is before and after this scene one of the thirstiest bastards around. Maybe in that moment he realized that he was gay all along, just like the other fellers around that campfire.

This is not a problem for the viewer, however, because the camera lingers on Eva Hamilton’s topless figure for quite a while. No, the scene doesn’t last minutes, but I think everyone is well acquainted with those blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nude scenes where you’re not even sure whether the actress was ever naked or not. With that in mind, this one’s quite refreshing. Yes, it’s somewhat, kind of, fairly dark-ish in the original film, but a spot of color correction brings out, as I’m sure you can agree looking at the images and video on this page, quite a lot of detail. The little puppy roleplay thing she does for about three seconds is surprisingly topical, calling back to Scarlett Johansson naked in Under The Skin, who technically plays a wolfgirl, even if it’s never said in the movie, and Lily-Rose Depp naked in Wolf, where she plays, contrary to what the film’s name might imply, a catgirl.

If you find Eva Hamilton hot and would like to marvel at her glorious breasts some more, I’m still early days in my research, but you can see her nude in a number of movies that came out in the three years after Ruin Me. In Death Kiss, she opens up her top to flash her titties to Charles Bronson’s spirit. In Ouija House, she is topless for a ritual, because why not, but alas, she’s wearing a mask over most of her face. In The Dragon Unleashed, she gets her shirt ripped off, flashing her boobies in the process. Very nice. And finally, in Cabal, she enjoys a hot tub topless, the way God intended. But let’s not get too greedy. For now, enjoy Eva Hamilton nude in Ruin me.