Ass Nude - Page 13

Eli Jane Naked – The Way – HD Stream

If you’re wondering whether The Way is the only film in which you can see Eli Jane naked, the answer is no… but really yes. Technically, her titties appear for about a second in The Telling, a 2009 film that I haven’t watched, but from what I know about it, seems like it shouldn’t exist. So what’s the problem? Well, we don’t really see Eli Jane’s face in that movie. No, she doesn’t play an extra. Worse. Her role was as a body double for Bridget Marquardt. Yes, that Bridget Marquardt. Why someone who’s job it is to get completely naked for every photoshoot needs a body double is a conundrum I’ve not been able to unravel, but here we are anyway.

I suppose with prior renowned roles as “Café Waitress,” “Bank teller,” and “Girlfriend,” it’s not difficult to see why doing a nude scene without face and name recognition became a viable option, although to be fair, the last of those mentioned roles was in the music video for Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love. Said music video was also her second role of all time, the first being as Axis Sally in the TV ad for Brothers in Arms: Hell’s Highway. This eclectic selection of roles is rounded off by the music video for Alice in Chains’ Hollow. Just to be clear, I’m not mocking her career. OK, I am, but I’m not mocking her. On the contrary, I thought her performance in The Way was really good and showed lots of range.

Another thing it showed was a whole lot of Eli Jane nude. I don’t mean in terms of time or quantity of scenes; there were only two of them, and they were quite short. I’m talking more in terms of square inches of skin shown. Now, I don’t know what the number actually is, but I know it’s equivalent to every square inch she has. Yes, in her first nude scene, Eli Jane is completely naked. Full frontal, boobs, ass, legs (if you’re a time traveller from the 1940s), feet (if you’re one of those people) – whatever you want to see, the movie’s got you covered. In the scene, her character, Jane Arcs, a death row inmate with a heart of gold, gets strip searched before her execution because… reasons. Not gonna lie, I’m a bit peeved that there are prison bars between her and the camera, but nothing is concealed throughout, so it’s ignorable.

Later in the film, there’s an Eli Jane sex scene between her character and a prison officer who is also her boyfriend on the sly. No full frontal this time, but we do get a nice close shot of her sideboob across a broad range of arm configurations, which is actually quite important in what angle and shape of boob you get to see. Also, there are no metal bars in the way this time. The scene is a bit dark, but with the eternal magic of color correction, I’ve gotten the material to where it needs to be for visibility.

I do have to say, the setting of the prison, strip search, jailhouse catfights – they all evoke a much earlier era, one where women in prison films were significantly more commonplace. I mean, all this movie was missing was for a fight to happen in the showers, or indeed any shower scene, but on the whole, I am glad to see the women in prison genre slowly coming back. Hopefully we get more offering in the near future, and if they’re from other Iranian directors, then no complaints from me. The Way does not, as I write, have a blu ray release, so in the meantime, enjoy the screencaps from the HD stream of the Eli Jane nude scenes from the film below.

Mary Loveless Naked – Excess Flesh – Blu ray

There’s only one movie in existence where we can see Mary Loveless naked, and luckily for us, it’s a pretty good watch. Excess Flesh premiered at South by Southwest in 2015, which incidentally is the same time and place that The Final Girls premiered, a movie perhaps most renowned for being the only film in which Malin Akerman appears but keeps her clothes on. In contrast, Excess Flesh has a healthy smattering of nude scenes, and they’re not limited to the lovely Mary Loveless either; we see her co-star Bethany Orr naked on more than one occasion.

Excess Flesh is a psychological thriller with two female leads, which has led at least one reviewer to compare it to Single White Female. Well, they weren’t far off, because if there’s one universal constant that must be maintained, it’s that every psychological thriller with female leads needs to have plenty of non-sexual nudity, and it was as true in the 90s as it is now. We see Mary Loveless naked quite a few times in the film. Now there’s something to be said for the fact that none of them shots are particularly lingering or gratuitous, but the magic of scrubbing through frame by frame can get us exactly what we’re after.

We see Mary Loveless nude about as many times as we see her in rather advanced states of undress. Without spoiling too much, the Los Angeles-based actress spends a large portion of the movie as a hostage, with large portions of that having her chained to a wall in her bra and panties and other such geometrically-limited clothing. The boob men might be a bit disappointed since her breasts don’t come into view too often, but the movie makes up for it in a way that, frankly, I’m still not entirely sure is what I think it is. We might get an actual pussy shot from behind, labia visible and all. Might. All you fapping detectives can play around with the color correction in that frame to see if you can confirm anything. It looks convincing enough, but also not clear enough to rule a modesty patch out.

The ass men among you are in for a treat since, pussy lips or not, we see Mary Loveless’ ass in more of her nude scenes than we don’t. The very first nude scene in the film, in fact, has her blacked out on her bed, bare-ass naked and mooning the camera with enough intensity to burn out its CMOS sensor. The next time we see Mary Loveless naked is the scene referred to earlier where her pussy lips may or may not be visible, and then the third time is yet another scene of her unconscious in bed while wearing conveniently no clothing.

For all the boob men waiting to see her tits, you’ll have to wait until the final third of the movie, where we see Mary Loveless topless for the first time as she’s being washed down in a bathtub. Her captor even makes a comment about her having nice nipples, but at this stage, we only see some peeks of areola from the bottom of the screen. It goes without saying I was quite surprised when after all of that teasing, we do indeed see her full tits while she’s struggling against the captor who’s attempting to drown her, being dragged out of the bathtub unconscious (I’m noticing a recurring theme here), and then dragged across a floor, still completely naked, of course.

Due to the fast movements in the topless scenes, there’s a fair bit of blur which washes out the actress’ nipples some, but with the magic of color correction, I’ve managed to salvage a lot of the subtler visual data for a clearer view. Screenshots of all the Mary Loveless nude scenes from Excess Flesh are below.

Anya Chalotra Naked – The Witcher – 4K Stream

Do you want to see Anya Chalotra naked in The Witcher? The answer is obviously “yes.” The bad news is that you won’t be getting any of that in the newly-released second season of the show. The good news is that Season 1 was such a treasure trove of nude scenes from Anya, that we can all fap ourselves dry to them. Not gonna lie, I did want this to be a post of new nude scenes from Yennefer, but alas, none were offered this year. That said, the first episode of the season did include some naked action from the delicious Agnes Born, which I recommend integrating into your fap rituals.

For those who have been living under a rock, Anya Chalotra plays Yennefer of Vengerberg, a mage who used to be a hunchback called Piglet. Or she used to be a piglet. Or she used her mage powers to possess a piglet. I don’t remember. Season 1 was all the way in the copper age of 2019. The important thing is that we got to see Anya Chalotra naked a lot in it. Some of you are going to bring up that it was reported that she used a body double. The first thing to clarify is that this was not in all scenes. In fact, it was exactly one scene. The second thing is that any scene posted in this post is of Anya herself, not her body double, whom it is apparently absolutely crucial to recognize is called Flora.

So the first time we see the actual Anya Chalotra nude is when she undergoes a rather gruesome transformation to have her deformities healed. Hunchbacks just aren’t in fashion anymore. But don’t be sad. If you have a thing for hunchbacks, the first nude scene is of a fully hunchbacked, not to mention fully naked, Yennefer strapped to a chair, surrounded by fire, while a fellow fingers some scalpels and other such instruments of torture. Pretty bold move for Netflix, to be fair. There are literal fetish sites that produce erotic content less perilous than this scene. As you can imagine, she gets really sweaty, screams in torment a lot, and finishes crumpled on the floor in a pool of blood. Exactly the kind of family-friendly nudity Netflix is famous for.

If you’d rather stare at Anya Chalotra topless without all the BDSM stuff, the rest of the season has got you covered. We see her disrobing to join Henry Cavill’s Geralt in a bath tub (don’t get to excited by that last part; I scrubbed frame by frame, and Henry Cavill’s dick is covered by a flesh-colored swimsuit). We also see her sitting naked on a bed with Jaskier the bard unconscious behind her. She then follows him around the room menacingly. She had made an effort to get dressed by this point, but her robe continues to hand open, boobs in full view, throughout.

There are a pair of sex scenes, but in one of them, it’s a body double (cheers, Flora), and in the other one, no nudity is visible. Such is life. I know that many will be disappointed by the absolute absence of nudity from Yennefer in this latest season of the show, but remember, The Witcher is not yet over. More seasons are on the way, and with a bit of luck and a smattering of divine intervention, we’ll see Anya Chalotra naked in the show again.

Kate Micucci Naked – The Little Hours – Blu ray

Kate Micucci naked in The Little Hours is far from the only reason to watch the film. For starters, seeing Aubrey Plaza naked is a pretty good additional reason, especially since it’s her only proper nude scene so far, but beyond that, the movie just makes for a good watch. The Garfunkel and Oates musician is, as we know, a great comedian and great actress, and that just makes her character that much more relatable, and therefore the orgasms that much more rewarding when we enjoy her extended nude scene. Incidentally, Riki Lindhome, the other half of Garfunkel and Oates, has some incredible nude scenes herself, if any of you old-timers remember the glory that was Hell Baby.

Back to The Little Hours, the first time we see Kate Micucci naked is toward the end of the movie, when she gets high off of some sweet, sweet Renaissance-era Italian crank and ends up stumbling upon a ritual being carried out by a coven of witches. She approaches it in the most appropriate way imaginable, which is taking her nun’s habits off and dancing among the nude witches. If this doesn’t keep your attention enough on its own, these scenes are interspersed with the Aubrey Plaza nude scenes, because… you know, why not? Aubrey gets dressed quickly enough, but our blessed Kate doesn’t really bother for a very long time.

After a naked fight, we see Kate Micucci nude again when she’s trying to wrangle a donkey. I promise it makes sense in context. Sort of. She then takes the donkey into a nun’s convent and starts banging on doors. Did I mention that throughout this entire time, the robe she’d commandeered is never really tied up? Yes, she might as well be completely naked throughout the whole affair. A bunch of things happen, none of which include the drugged-out nun making any effort to get dressed. The most Christian we see her before scene’s end is when the open robe covers her nips and nothing else. Then there’s a gap and, following that, a scene of her getting baptized. The baptism scene isn’t particularly graphic, but you do see some areola.

For those of you keeping track, we had seen Kate Micucci topless before this film. And in an insane twist of fate, that first nude scene was in a Netflix show. I’m talking about Easy, a series titled as a descriptor of the degree of difficulty involved in being disappointed by nudity in Netflix productions. Although, to be fair, the show itself is an exception to this wisdom. That said, Easy didn’t have any full frontal nude scenes, which The Little Hours does. Now, you might be itching to say, “But Fapsmith, she’s wearing a merkin, so isn’t that basically the same as being topless only?” Well more fool you.

Do you see it? Yes, if you color correct it in just the right way and scrub through frame by frame, you can actually spot Kate Micucci’s pussy lips in The Little Hours. I find it unusual that she’d go for a merkin but no modesty patch underneath, but who am I to complain? As always, I accept these unintended gifts with open arms and a turgid dong. It’s also why I send an anonymous Christmas present to the inventor of the blu ray format every year. The DVD days were dark times for fappers, and let’s not even talk about when VHS was the best we had access to.

Anyway, dicks out for Kate Micucci naked in The Little Hours from the blu ray below.

Aubrey Plaza Naked – The Little Hours – Blu ray

Aubrey Plaza naked in The Little Hours was not something most viewers expected from the film. All the nude scenes of the movie are nestled right toward the end, so even if you go into it expecting them because the skeezy guy at work or the anonymous internet poster that was almost certainly a troll told you they’re there, you either didn’t believe them in the first place or you forgot that they were supposed to happen by the time they actually did. And boy oh boy was it a breath of fresh air when all the nudity finally unfolded.

For those who don’t know about the movie, The Little Hours is quite a gem for so many reasons. First of all, it was one of a small number of attempts to bring back the nunsploitation genre, doing so the same year as Novitiate, which everyone adores for hosting its own nude debut, that of Margaret Qualley. We could even argue that the two releases were successful, owing to this year’s release of Benedetta, which is directed by Paul Verhoeven, basically telling us everything we need to know about exactly how much and exactly how (un)necessary the nudity is in that one. The dialogue is almost completely improvised, which makes for a delightful, immersive watch. It also proves there should be more nudity in improv.

The first time we see Aubrey Plaza nude in the movie is from behind, with her bare, delicious ass mooning the camera shamelessly. The scenes do technically cut, but there’s incredibly solid continuity between them leading into the face reveal, so it likely genuinely is the Parks and Recreation actress herself on full display. There’s a fair bit of bush in view as she turns around and her open robe sways. It’s not fully clear at the moment whether these were her genuine pubes or a merkin, but she had said that she’d made efforts to appear natural regarding not shaving legs and such, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to assume that we genuinely got a dewigged full frontal from her, as is, of course, suitable for every self-respecting nunsploitation film.

There are then quite a few closeups of Aubrey Plaza topless as she performs some sort of witch’s ritual over a tied up Dave Franco, whom I can only imagine to this day has wet dreams to the time he spent filming this scene on a weekly basis. Make no mistake. As I write, this is the only proper topless scene of the actress in existence. Was there an ambiguous nip slip in Ned Rifle? Yes, there was. Key focus on “ambiguous.” Quite unsatisfying on the whole. There was also a bottomless scene in last year’s Black Bear, but the bush she’s rocking in that is either the most unnaturally trimmed pubic hair in existence or, may God have mercy on our souls, a merkin. Probably the latter.

Speaking of below par, The Little Hours does contain a number of Aubrey Plaza sex scenes, but as with sex scenes she’d done in other movies, there is no nudity visible during them. This is admittedly a bit curious considering she does get naked in other parts of the movie, but we shouldn’t be greedy. I, for one, thank director Jeff Baena for showcasing his wife nude for the world to see. No, I didn’t make it up. They actually are married.

Enjoy the lovingly crafted screenshots of every scene in which we see Aubrey Plaza naked in The Little Hours below.