Nunsploitation Nude

Nora-Jane Noone Naked – The Magdalene Sisters – HD Stream

God knows we took a lot of detours to get here, but we finish our tour of The Magdalene Sisters with a fap to the lovely Nora-Jane Noone naked. Not only is she my favorite of the lot – although I certainly feel treated with a lineup like we have in this scene – but she is also one of the first actresses I covered all the way back in the glory days of faptuary.net. A lot has changed since then. For starters, this is what the frame closest to the image directly about this paragraph looked like back in those humble times. But the only difference is that back then I just had the DVD whereas now I can stream it in HD, right? I don’t know. You tell me. This here is what the frame looks like in HD but without any further editing on my part. For reference, here is the full frame with all my color correction.

I’m not suggesting my work on this nude scene is my magnum opus – no, that would be the world famous Alexandra Daddario nude scene (for now) – but I am nonetheless extremely proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish in brining this nude scene to even more life. In fact, even when I thought I was done, I wasn’t done. Some more astute observers among you may notice that the shots look different here and in the Dorothy Duffy post compared to the posts for Eileen Walsh and Anne-Marie Duff. This is the kind of obsessive wank I get up to when the studios refuse to release one of my favorite nude scenes of all time on blu ray.

We get blessed with Nora-Jane Noone nude for the same reasons stated in the other three posts. The short version for those who aren’t interested in going through those is that Nora and friends are inmates at a nun’s convent laundry or something. They are being punished for reasons unknown, and true to real life, the nuns responsible for punishing the wayward girls are extremely sadistic and have a penchant for humiliation. This means forcing all the women to get completely naked, run in place, and then have degrading competitions over the girls’ private parts. Nora’s character, Bernadette, is the runner up for the hairiest bush award. I suppose, by extension, Nora-Jane Noone herself is since there is only one potential merkin in the entire lineup (I’m looking at you, Anne-Marie). That’s right, fully natural hairy pussies here. The film is set in the mid-20th century, so I respect them going for full authenticity, even down to the pubic hair.

The significance of Nora-Jane Noone topless in The Magdalene Sisters stretches beyond how fappable her body looks in the scene itself. You see, this movie is her very first acting role, so naturally it’s also her very first nude scene. You know what else it is? Her very last nude scene. And now that two full decades have passed since The Magdalene Sisters came out, I find it unlikely that that’s going to change. Don’t get me wrong, I hope we do get tons more Nora-Jane Noone nude scenes in the future, but I don’t want to hold out too much hope for something so unlikely. Is it weird that the Irish actress has held so firm on her no nudity policy all this time considering how exceptionally graphic and gratuitous her nude scene here is? Sure, but I’m glad that we got at least this. Almost makes it sweeter.

So there you have it, my present to everyone who watched The Descent and Doomsday and found themselves thinking just how much they’d like to see Nora-Jane Noone naked. By the way, I’ve found her career quite difficult to stay on top of due to her somewhat eccentric selection of projects, so if I have or perhaps in the future end up missing a lewd scene or, dare I suggest it, a full on Nora-Jane Noone nude scene, please do let me know by dropping a comment, hitting up the contact page, or shooting me a tweet at the official Twitter page.

Dorothy Duffy Naked – The Magdalene Sisters – HD Stream

You are not only looking at the only source in existence that shows Dorothy Duffy naked. You are also looking at, as I write, the highest quality images of Dorothy Duffy naked in existence, and that will probably not change unless my humble efforts here start a revolution of color correcting among celeb nude scene sites internet-wide. Spoiler alert: It won’t. Only I am both obsessive and demented enough to put myself through this for free. If you don’t believe me, I invite you to go to Google Images, type in “dorothy duffy nude,” and look at the results. See? Told you. Not ego tripping. Just saying. OK, maybe I am ego tripping just a little bit.

>inb4 your color correction isnt that good

Speaking of color correction, if you’ve already seen and fapped to the posts dedicated to Eileen Walsh and Anne-Marie Duff, you may have noticed that the screen captures here look a little bit different, and I don’t mean just which frames are used and where they’re cropped from. One benefit of a lot of things happening between the last time I covered this scene and now is that when I got back to it today, I could look at it with a fresh pair of eyes. The bad news is that I wasn’t fully satisfied with what I saw. The good news is that I’ve gone ahead and touched the scene up a little bit. I’m happier with the new version, which will be used when I cover the post for Nora-Jane Noone. I’m not going to go back to recapture stills for the previous two posts because some might prefer that look, but for what it’s worth, between this post and Nora-Jane’s, it will likely cover most bases where the other actresses are on screen. Yes, you get to work for your ideal faps.

So why do we see Dorothy Duffy nude in The Magdalene Sisters? It’s a perfectly typical and ordinary nude scene where she is forced to strip until she is completely naked, made to run in place for a bit, made to listen to humiliating comments about her naked body, including being told to turn around so that she can be told she has the back of a bricklayer (I’d still rub your back, Dorothy), and other such joys. The Magdalene Sisters is a film that straddles the line between – or perhaps embraces both of – the nunsploitation genre and the women-in-prison genre, all while being targeted at men and women of very high class and culture… and fappers.

But really, if all you want is to watch a minute or two of Irish nude women lined up for inspection by a Catholic nun, this is your dream. Well, mine anyway. If you have any suggestions for similar, please do share. You know the usual ways to get in touch – the contact page, the official Twitter, and of course by dropping a comment below. If you were specifically after Dorothy Duffy, then you’ll be either pleased or disappointed, depending on perspective, to know that I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that this is the only footage we have of the Irish actress nude. There is a scene in Childer where Dorothy Duffy shifts around while taking a bath, and you think that just for a fraction of a second her boobs are flashed under the water. I’m sad to say that when scrubbing through frame by frame, you can see that she has some sort of modesty band or flesh-colored boob tube or something covering her nips. I’m even more sad to say that I spent that time scrubbing through a short frame by frame just so that I could potentially catch a blurry, obscured shot of nip. Where did life all go so wrong?

Anyway, wherever that happened, at least I’ve got a row of Irish naked women to fap to over and over again, and now so do you. Although, I did run into some uncertainty over whether Dorothy Duffy actually is Irish (as in Republic of Ireland) or not. An article from Donegal Daily mentioned that she is based in and grew up around County Donegal in Republic of Ireland, but her Wikipedia entry says she was born in Northern Ireland (United Kingdom, not Republic). Confusingly, the cited source for that, the Irish Times, doesn’t say anything about where she’s born, but it does mention her working in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Upon a ton of digging, I finally found a source for the answer that is as authoritative as can be. Dorothy has a profile on AdVoice that includes a spoken introduction where she describes herself as Irish, says she was born in Douglas Bridge, Northern Ireland, and that she moved to the Republic of Ireland at the age of five. I knew all those restraining orders I collected from excessive stalking would justify themselves one day. Enjoy Dorothy Duffy naked in the screen captures below.

Anne-Marie Duff Naked – The Magdalene Sisters – HD Stream

The Magdalene Sisters is not the only feature in which you can see Anne-Marie Duff naked. The most obvious other answer is the original Shameless, wherein she played the first season protagonist, Fiona Gallagher. If you’re confused right now because you always thought that it was Emmy Rossum who played Fiona Gallagher, remember that there are two version of the show. I mean, there are more, but the two most popular ones globally are the American one, in which Emmy Rossum gets her tits out as Fiona Gallagher, and the original British one, where Anne-Marie Duff’s Fiona has considerably less nudity.

But for the lack of Anne-Marie Duff nude scenes in Shameless, we have this amazing one in The Magdalene Sisters to make up for it. For those who didn’t read the earlier post covering Eileen Walsh’s nudity, The Magdalene Sisters is a highbrow Irish movie from the early 2000s that is at once a women in prison film, a nunsploitation film, and a serious Oscar bait drama about the horrific abuses that the Catholic Church in Ireland carried out against women who were deemed wayward, with reasons being given including having children out of wedlock, being mildly flirty and attractive, and preferring Heineken over Guinness.

One of the abuses, as dark as it is, does involve getting Anne-Marie Duff nude for the camera, so I suppose the suffering was not for nothing. Fappers everywhere thank the victims for their noble sacrifice. All four of the protagonists of the film and a number of other unfortunate women are forced to strip nude by the nuns for a reason that I’ve not quite yet been able to establish, but somehow this devolves into the nuns making a game out of ranking the nude inmates’ body parts. A number of prizes are given out. Anne-Marie Duff doesn’t win anything. It may or may not have something to do that I suspect that she was wearing a merkin for the scene. The reason I’m singling her out is that all of the other actresses’ bushes looked completely natural, which brought me much joy. Fiona Gallagher’s pussy hair, however, looked an odd shape. No taper to it whatsoever. Now, it is possible that it was just shaved that way, but that’s not a common way of doing it, so I’m leaning merkin, unfortunately.

Most of the shots of the London-born actress are frontal, but we do see some sideboob in the closing Anne-Marie Duff topless scene of her and the other girls getting dressed after they’re allowed to wear clothes again. It is only a few quick flashes, but with how perfectly lit, angled, and presented the full frontal nude shots were, I don’t really feel it would be fair to complain. Speaking of complaining, I hope we don’t have any ass men in the house, because in spite of how explicitly graphic the nudity is in this scene, not a single ass gets into frame. Maybe the filmmaker thought that would be crossing a line into the realm of the vulgar. Totally not what’s going on now, though. It’s all highbrow, remember.

So there you have it – Anne-Marie Duff in the full frontal nude scene that isn’t the only one she has done, but it certainly is the best. If the framing and position of watermarks in the images on this posts is harming your fap experience, remember that this one has been lovingly hand-crafter for Anne-Marie Duff’s naked body. If you want to get a more focused look on the other protagonists, there will be individual posts for Eileen Walsh, Dorothy Duffy, and Nora-Jane Noone. The below gallery is specifically to enjoy Anne-Marie Duff naked.

Eileen Walsh Naked – The Magdalene Sisters – HD Stream

With a career trajectory like she’s had, one wouldn’t expect there to be any scenes in existence with Eileen Walsh naked. And if one entertained the possibility, surely the last thing you would imagine is a scene of her standing completely nude, with her full bush on display, well lit, fully on show, alongside a bevy of other nude women. For this blessing, we have to thank Peter Mullan for writing and directing what is perhaps the most highbrow women in prison film in cinematic history, The Magdalene Sisters.

Now, I might be burying the lede somewhat with that description. The very obvious overabundance of nuns could also classify it as a nunsploitation film. Searching for intent is a losing game since the director certainly didn’t desire either of those descriptors. Nonetheless, the tropes are there. We’ve got sadistic people in charge of the institution where our protagonists are incarcerated, women and girls who should not be there but find themselves there anyway, gratuitous nudity involving humiliation and in groups – the tropes are all present. Whether you ascribe those more to the nunsploitation genre or the women in prison camp is, I suppose, up to you, but it is probably safe to say that both elements are prevalent.

So under what circumstances do we get to see Eileen Walsh nude in The Magdalene Sisters? Well, the whole thing is a bit dark, to be honest. The Irish actress plays the role of Crispina, a woman with what is very heavily implied to be a learning disability who ends up having a child out of wedlock. In 1960s Catholic Ireland, this is viewed as being ever-so-slightly undesirable, so she gets shipped off to an institute run by the Catholic church, where to atone for her sins and ensure entry into heaven, she does laundry and occasionally gets forced to suck the priest’s dick. No, that last part wasn’t an off-color joke on my part.

The full frontal nudity we get from Eileen Walsh happens over the span of about two-and-a-half minutes during a scene where the girls are, for a reason that was never really established (or that I was too zoned out to catch), being punished by being forced to stand in a line completely naked while the nuns make comments about their private parts. Crispina has to get told multiple times to move her hands away from her hairy pussy, which she does so dutifully and in full view of the camera. Bless. Her bravery pays off because the nuns award her (SPOILER ALERT!) the prize for the hairiest beaver on the spot. Although she certainly deserves it, sporting a regal au naturel bush of the finest standard (and no merkin trickery either), the character is distraught by this. In fact, the whole group of inmates find themselves quite distraught. Must be something to do with the forced nudity, sadistic public humiliation, and Ireland’s abysmal performance in the Olympics that year. Stay strong, Emerald Isle.

So there we have it – the only Eileen Walsh nude scene in existence, and depending on your perspective and proclivities, it’s either extremely unerotic or extremely erotic. If you find yourself in the former camp, boy do I have good news for you. Below are all the best screen captures, lovingly selected from the movie, so that you can have your fap without being disrupted by silly little stressors like context. If you look a few pixels to the left and right of her in the images, you will find that Eileen Walsh is flanked by a number of other fully nude actresses, including Dorothy Duffy, Nora-Jane Noone, and Anne-Marie Duff. If you think the screenshot selection and watermark placement is a bit disruptive to your abilities to fap to them properly, stop, roll it back, and check out their individual posts. Fapsmith takes every nude scene very seriously, and all those posts are designed for maximum fappability to that specific actress. Fap on, friends.

Kate Micucci Naked – The Little Hours – Blu ray

Kate Micucci naked in The Little Hours is far from the only reason to watch the film. For starters, seeing Aubrey Plaza naked is a pretty good additional reason, especially since it’s her only proper nude scene so far, but beyond that, the movie just makes for a good watch. The Garfunkel and Oates musician is, as we know, a great comedian and great actress, and that just makes her character that much more relatable, and therefore the orgasms that much more rewarding when we enjoy her extended nude scene. Incidentally, Riki Lindhome, the other half of Garfunkel and Oates, has some incredible nude scenes herself, if any of you old-timers remember the glory that was Hell Baby.

Back to The Little Hours, the first time we see Kate Micucci naked is toward the end of the movie, when she gets high off of some sweet, sweet Renaissance-era Italian crank and ends up stumbling upon a ritual being carried out by a coven of witches. She approaches it in the most appropriate way imaginable, which is taking her nun’s habits off and dancing among the nude witches. If this doesn’t keep your attention enough on its own, these scenes are interspersed with the Aubrey Plaza nude scenes, because… you know, why not? Aubrey gets dressed quickly enough, but our blessed Kate doesn’t really bother for a very long time.

After a naked fight, we see Kate Micucci nude again when she’s trying to wrangle a donkey. I promise it makes sense in context. Sort of. She then takes the donkey into a nun’s convent and starts banging on doors. Did I mention that throughout this entire time, the robe she’d commandeered is never really tied up? Yes, she might as well be completely naked throughout the whole affair. A bunch of things happen, none of which include the drugged-out nun making any effort to get dressed. The most Christian we see her before scene’s end is when the open robe covers her nips and nothing else. Then there’s a gap and, following that, a scene of her getting baptized. The baptism scene isn’t particularly graphic, but you do see some areola.

For those of you keeping track, we had seen Kate Micucci topless before this film. And in an insane twist of fate, that first nude scene was in a Netflix show. I’m talking about Easy, a series titled as a descriptor of the degree of difficulty involved in being disappointed by nudity in Netflix productions. Although, to be fair, the show itself is an exception to this wisdom. That said, Easy didn’t have any full frontal nude scenes, which The Little Hours does. Now, you might be itching to say, “But Fapsmith, she’s wearing a merkin, so isn’t that basically the same as being topless only?” Well more fool you.

Do you see it? Yes, if you color correct it in just the right way and scrub through frame by frame, you can actually spot Kate Micucci’s pussy lips in The Little Hours. I find it unusual that she’d go for a merkin but no modesty patch underneath, but who am I to complain? As always, I accept these unintended gifts with open arms and a turgid dong. It’s also why I send an anonymous Christmas present to the inventor of the blu ray format every year. The DVD days were dark times for fappers, and let’s not even talk about when VHS was the best we had access to.

Anyway, dicks out for Kate Micucci naked in The Little Hours from the blu ray below.