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Kate Beckinsale Naked – Uncovered – HD Stream

There is only one film where we can see Kate Beckinsale naked. Yes, you guessed correctly that it’s Uncovered. So here’s some things you may not know. There is still no blu ray release, and the only media in which the movie was available was DVD (and VHS, if you’re a real masochist). Up until recently, that is. Yes, Uncovered is now available from streaming services, and it is available in HD. The aspect ratio now sits at an absolutely bizarre 5:3, but if you can look past that, what we have is pretty much sort of kind of basically 1080p. I’ve also color corrected the holy hell out of this, so we should be getting maximum detail in this post.

I’m actually going to admit that for all my mastery of all things to do with celeb nudity in film and television, I’d never seen this film before today. I’ve known about it forever, of course. I remember squinting to the blurry messes that were the VHS caps on the internet back in the very early 00s, and then busting more than a few nuts off to the DVD caps when they made the scene, but I just never took the plunge to do the work myself. What I’d seen was just so low-detail that it didn’t seem like I could do any meaningful color correction to it. It goes without saying that when I heard that it was now streaming in HD, I was keen to make up for my past sloth.

The first time we see Kate Beckinsale nude in Uncovered – or indeed ever – is when her former professor is making out with her on a couch. He pulls her shirt up and sucks vigorously on her nipple. The actor in this scene, one Art Malik, officially has the best ice breaker at parties after this. “Raise your hand if you’ve been paid money to suck on Kate Beckinsale’s breast. What, only me?” She then sneezes on him and takes off. That is, the character from the film, not the people at the hypothetical party. Hay fever is always such a cock blocker.

The next time we see Kate Beckinsale topless is when she’s undressing for a shower but decides – only after getting naked, of course – to examine her painting again. We see a very nice frontal shot of her nude body for a surprisingly long amount of time. No quick flashes here. I mean, flashing, yes, but by no means quick. When she gets really close to the painting, the director decides to not rob us of any nudity and gives us another naked shot in the reflection of the glass. What a swell guy. Later in the film, there’s a quick shot of a black and white photo of Kate Beckinsale naked in bed. Finally, towards the end of the movie, there’s a post-sex scene where she’s perched on the arm of a sofa, completely naked. We see some sideboob for a while, then she turns to face the camera, gives us a bit of frontal, stands up, and walks past the camera.

All in all, this movie is an absolute treat now that it’s out in HD. And by the way, to everyone who said that it sucks when you take out the nudity, I actually liked it. It wasn’t Shakespeare, but frankly, it’s all the better for it. A bit of 90s camp never hurt anyone. Also, if any of you fappers have a hairy armpit fetish, prepare to blow your loads even harder; that’s all I’m going to say. I’m going to leave you with one last parting piece of trivia before you all fap yourselves to death. Some of you may challenge that this is the only film in which Kate Beckinsale has been naked. You’d still be wrong. If you’re going to bring up Haunted, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it has been confirmed that that was a body double. The sooner we can make peace with that, the sooner we can all spunk ourselves dry to the real Kate Beckinsale nude scene in the caps below.

Anya Chalotra Naked – The Witcher – 4K Stream

Do you want to see Anya Chalotra naked in The Witcher? The answer is obviously “yes.” The bad news is that you won’t be getting any of that in the newly-released second season of the show. The good news is that Season 1 was such a treasure trove of nude scenes from Anya, that we can all fap ourselves dry to them. Not gonna lie, I did want this to be a post of new nude scenes from Yennefer, but alas, none were offered this year. That said, the first episode of the season did include some naked action from the delicious Agnes Born, which I recommend integrating into your fap rituals.

For those who have been living under a rock, Anya Chalotra plays Yennefer of Vengerberg, a mage who used to be a hunchback called Piglet. Or she used to be a piglet. Or she used her mage powers to possess a piglet. I don’t remember. Season 1 was all the way in the copper age of 2019. The important thing is that we got to see Anya Chalotra naked a lot in it. Some of you are going to bring up that it was reported that she used a body double. The first thing to clarify is that this was not in all scenes. In fact, it was exactly one scene. The second thing is that any scene posted in this post is of Anya herself, not her body double, whom it is apparently absolutely crucial to recognize is called Flora.

So the first time we see the actual Anya Chalotra nude is when she undergoes a rather gruesome transformation to have her deformities healed. Hunchbacks just aren’t in fashion anymore. But don’t be sad. If you have a thing for hunchbacks, the first nude scene is of a fully hunchbacked, not to mention fully naked, Yennefer strapped to a chair, surrounded by fire, while a fellow fingers some scalpels and other such instruments of torture. Pretty bold move for Netflix, to be fair. There are literal fetish sites that produce erotic content less perilous than this scene. As you can imagine, she gets really sweaty, screams in torment a lot, and finishes crumpled on the floor in a pool of blood. Exactly the kind of family-friendly nudity Netflix is famous for.

If you’d rather stare at Anya Chalotra topless without all the BDSM stuff, the rest of the season has got you covered. We see her disrobing to join Henry Cavill’s Geralt in a bath tub (don’t get to excited by that last part; I scrubbed frame by frame, and Henry Cavill’s dick is covered by a flesh-colored swimsuit). We also see her sitting naked on a bed with Jaskier the bard unconscious behind her. She then follows him around the room menacingly. She had made an effort to get dressed by this point, but her robe continues to hand open, boobs in full view, throughout.

There are a pair of sex scenes, but in one of them, it’s a body double (cheers, Flora), and in the other one, no nudity is visible. Such is life. I know that many will be disappointed by the absolute absence of nudity from Yennefer in this latest season of the show, but remember, The Witcher is not yet over. More seasons are on the way, and with a bit of luck and a smattering of divine intervention, we’ll see Anya Chalotra naked in the show again.

Agnes Born Naked – The Witcher – 4K Stream

Agnes Born naked was a nice way to kick off the new season of The Witcher. The first season of the show was surprisingly satisfying in terms of the nudity offered. Netflix shows tend to tone the titties down to protect their very specific, media-friendly image, but they sidestepped that successfully with The Witcher. Until this season. Yes, it’s true. The show follows Game of Thrones rules, where most of the nude scenes are front-loaded into the first season, and then it’s all dry deserts and blue balls after.

Nonetheless, they were kind enough to offer us Norwegian actress Agnes Born naked in the first episode, and she was an absolute treat. I was going to not say anything about the content of the nude scene to not offer spoilers, but in writing this now, I realize that the image at the top of this post basically sums up anything that could be concealed. I’ll keep some mystique, though, and keep it short. Agnes Born plays Vereena, a bruxa, which I believe is a figure in Polish folklore that can phase through car windshields and remove parking tickets so that her victims end up with extortionate fines. This embodiment of evil ends up getting impaled from behind, so the only time we really see her boobs clearly is when there’s a spear exploding from between them. Depending on your tastes, this either makes the scene unfappable or much more fappable.

This is a bit of a stretch, but another bonus in the Agnes Born nude scene is that she’s holding (an unfortunately fully dressed) Ciri, played by Freya Allan, hostage. Until we get an actual Freya Allan nude scene from The Witcher, this might tide some of us over. The rest of us will just have to use our imaginations. Or, alternatively, simply fap to what we do have access to, which is Agnes Born naked. Screencaps are below.

Elle Fanning Naked – The Great – 4K Stream

One could be easily forgiven for thinking that we’d never see Elle Fanning naked in our lifetimes. The sheer volume of implied nudity and other such teases we’ve been forced to lament over felt like a sure sign that that was all we were going to get. Keener minds, however, might have noticed the slow and subtle build-up. First there was the majestic downblouse in Galveston, then a ramp up to the blurry flash of nip during the sex scene in All The Bright Places, and if you want to count it, the leaked sideboob, though it’s never quite as fappable without a face in the shot. Finally, in the previous season of The Great, we got a faceful of ass, plump and luscious, but not so much as a peek of the goods out front.

But now, all has been made right in the world. The ninth and tenth episodes of the second season of The Great have between them two great nude scenes, and by great, what I mean is we get high definition evidence that her nipples exist. But that’s all right for two reasons. The first is that Hulu streams the historical comedy-drama-reluctant-titty-show in 4K, which fits quadruple the amount of pixels per proportion of the screen, making it that little bit easier for us to forget that we’re fapping to a mosaic of dots on a screen. The second – perhaps more important – reason is that the trajectory continues. What next? Elle Fanning full frontal? Two-hour long feature film that consists entirely of an 8k close-up of her spread open pussy lips? OK, to be fair, it’s probably not going to get quite that far, and frankly, if it did, I’d feel like much of the magic has died.

What I am certain of is that we will be seeing a lot more Elle Fanning nude scenes in the blessed years to come, and in all likelihood, they will be longer, more detailed, and given the relentless march of technology, hopefully higher resolution. The upcoming third season of The Great will likely contribute toward this noble goal, but as long as the delectable Miss Fanning’s career continues to soar, many a pervy producer will be lining up to help humanity along in this very important, nay, essential, way. HBO would certainly be up for that – for the first season, in any event, if following Game of Thrones rules, and the first episode, if following Rome rules.

Technically, Elle Fanning’s topless debut came in the eighth episode, but visibility was insufficient and there was a gigantic prosthetic pregnant belly to kill the mood (or elevate it, if that’s what you’re into). The ninth episode, however, has her pulling her gown up over her head, giving us a full look at both of her breasts – though not at the same time, because that would just be lewd – while she’s making out with her co-star, Nicholas Hoult. The tenth episode opens with a sex scene between the couple. The shots in that one aren’t particularly graphic, but we do get a hanging sideboob, which is welcome in these trying times. All in all, it’s about 10 seconds of material, but a perfectly acceptable quantity to shine off the fifth fap of the day to if you have it on loop.

When we got the Elle Fanning leaked nudes, it was the consolation prize that we felt we had to accept. Now here we are, with a true nude scene that any seedy director would be proud of. All that needs to happen now is for Hulu to take the Starz approach (the Spartacus network, not to be confused with the Disney service) and have unnecessary but by no means unwelcome nudity in every episode. Until then, enjoy seeing Elle Fanning naked in the 4K screencaps from The Great below.