Ass Nude - Page 9

Kelly Brook Naked – Survival Island aka Three – HD Stream

I’ve been holding back on covering a post of Kelly Brook naked all the way back since 2012, when the .NET days began. The reasoning being that of all the nude scenes she’s done in film and television, the ones in Survival Island were the only ones I consider gratuitous enough for a satisfying fap. Sure, we got a Kelly Brook sex scene in Metal Hurlant Chronicles, but as far as actual nudity goes, we got a bit of sideboob with some barely visible nipple. Then there was the skinny dipping scene in Piranha 3D, and that one wasn’t bad, but it also wasn’t the best at showcasing our English rose’s natural assets.

So why wait this long to post the Survival Island nude scenes then? The answer is because I was always sure that a blu ray release was just around the corner. Yes, all the way back to 2012, I thought there was no point covering, say, the DVD version of it because the blu ray would be better when it came out. But it never did. Still hasn’t. And that perplexed me so much because the DVD was all the rage. Everyone and their grandmother had it, and everyone and their grandmother fapped to it. The fact that the production company didn’t take this as their cue to release it in full HD is bizarre. Except they kind of did…

You can enjoy Kelly Brook nude in Survival Island in full HD from Amazon or any of the other streaming services that carry the film. It would obviously be of much better quality if it was a blu ray, but having watched it in HD for the first time a few days ago, this blows my old DVD out of the water a million times over. And so I decided that I wasn’t going to wait for the day that never comes any longer and would instead pour my efforts into editing the HD stream into the crispest, clearest, most fappable final product I can get. I’m not displeased with my final result. On a side note, rewatching the movie from start to finish for the first time in a million years, I’m not displeased with movie itself either. Yeah, even when she’s not nude, Kelly Brook is in a bikini pretty much throughout the whole thing, which ain’t bad, but also, I forgot just how good the movie was. Even the acting is phenomenal. We’ve got ham sandwich Billy Zane as one of the leads alongside Page 3 girl Kelly Brook, who I only learned the other day for the first time actually attended the prestigious Italia Conti Academy of Theatre Arts. I have no clue why everyone had such a fucking problem with it – plebs.

The first time we see Kelly Brook topless in Survival Island is during a sex scene right near the beginning of the film. She’s riding cowgirl with her wrists bound and over her head, and even though the camera starts out behind her, her boobs are so big and majestic, that you can clearly see them as they thrash side to side, all but wrapping around her torso with each swing. The teasing doesn’t last long. The very next shot is from the side, giving a great profile shot of her left breast and big eraser nipple. In fact, her nips are diamond hard throughout the movie, even though she’s supposed to be stranded on a tropical island. Hollywood knows which little details to focus on when doing nudity in films, although “little” definitely isn’t the word here. Kelly’s got herself some really voluminous, meaty nipples.

It’s not all happy news for Kelly Brook’s tits, though. In fact, their constant appearance in Survival Island led to a lawsuit. I’m not entirely sure what Kelly was thinking would happen when she filmed them, but neither her nor Billy Zane, who played her husband in the movie but was her fiancé in real life, were happy with the nudity that was to air. But then it went live anyway, and everyone spent the next two decades fapping to Kelly Brook nudes. Just a quick note to clear up any confusion: This movie is also known as Three in some markets. I’ve heard so many mixed messages about why it’s called this somewhere and that elsewhere that I’m not even going to bother to continue with that topic any further. So buckle up – or rather, get your buckle open – and enjoy the gallery below of Kelly Brook naked.

Jennifer Lawrence Naked – Red Sparrow – 4K Blu ray

I can’t possibly tell you how long this post showcasing Jennifer Lawrence naked in Red Sparrow has been in the works. It might literally have surpassed half a year. Like the Aisling Knight post, this is one where I never end up fully satisfied with the color correction and revisit it every month or two to touch it up. I thought the time had come for this one. I’ve been working on it yesterday and today, and while I don’t think I’ve achieved any sort of perfection nor anything even close here, I’ve been staring at different arrangements of J-Law’s tits for so long now that I reckon it’s time to settle on a final result and unleash it on the world.

This release kind of accidentally ended up being timed with a bit even in Jennifer Lawrence’s life too. She welcomed her first baby recently, thought she allegedly was pregnant leading up to that, so I doubt this came as a surprise to anyone other than me, because it’s been that long since I’ve kept up. And speaking of falling behind, I also finally watched the coincidentally appropriately titled Mother! today. For a look behind the curtain, I was planning to cover Jennifer Lawrence’s nude scenes in Mother! today as a sort of entrée for this post, the big one, on Sunday. The nude scenes in Mother! were going to be the starter because I’d always heard that they were quite brief. That turned out to be truer than I could ever have guessed.

We see Jennifer Lawrence nude in Mother! for no more than a handful of frames. And even then, she’s moving really fast, so the goods aren’t crystal clear. And even then, “the goods” consists of her nips that peek out from above the neckline of her top. She might as well be covered in a burqa outside of that. Now, I haven’t been living under a rock. I had heard that for her nude debut, Jennifer Lawrence’s nude scene in Mother! was quite underwhelming. I just couldn’t have imagined how underwhelming it could be. It was so brief, that the first shot came and went, and I wasn’t even sure whether I saw anything. I actually had to go back and scrub through frame by frame in VLC to confirm that a nipple did indeed appear.

As underwhelming as that must have been back in 2017, only a year later, we all got treated to some proper shots of Jennifer Lawrence topless when Red Sparrow came out. In it, she plays a Russian ballerina that breaks her ankle when Wile E. Coyote spreads Acme chicken grease over her stage and then gets recruited as an FSB agent – J-Law, that is, not Wile E. Coyote. Then she goes to Budapest to gun down students protesting against Soviet control. Then the movie bleeds into Bridge of Spies for a bit before… see, so much time has passed since I began working on the color correction, that I don’t even remember what the movie was about. The only reminder I get is every time I work on it and just stare at Jennifer Lawrence’s boobs a lot. Speaking of, I’m happy to say we get treated to them at many an angle, from sideboob to frontal and everything in between.

We also get to see the mythical Jennifer Lawrence pussy. I know what you’re thinking. “We already so that during the original Fappening when all the Jennifer Lawrence leaked nudes were all over the internet.” True, but this is different for two reasons. The first reason is that it’s part of a movie rather than a leaked private photo that no one was meant to see. The second reason is that it doesn’t seem like anyone was actually meant to see her pussy lips in Red Sparrow, unlike her hacked nudes that someone was supposed to see (although I’m sure she never intended for it to be the whole internet). I hummed and hawed over whether to give this post the coveted Unscripted Nudity tag, and in the end, I decided to do so on the basis of IMDB suggesting that J-Law’s genitals do not appear in the movie.

In the last nude scene of Red Sparrow, we get to see Jennifer Lawrence tortured nude during an extended enhanced interrogation in some Russian military prison or FSB black site or Vkusno i tochka training ground or something. Again, it’s been a while since I watched the film. The memories aren’t as clear. If the context of this scene was in isolation, I would put it down to the theme of the movie. What I find strange, after watching Mother! for the first time today, is that J-Law has done nude scenes in only two movies in her entire career, and in both of them, she’s being tortured during her nude scenes. Does Jennifer Lawrence have some sort of BDSM fetish? Is she a (not so) secret masochist? Is her next nude scene going to be filmed on a Kink.com porn set?

Normally I’d throw out at least a token comment on what parts of the movie are enjoyable, but (and I promise this is the last time I’m going to bring it up) I just don’t remember much of it. What I can tell you, though, is that if nothing else, it’s definitely worth watching just for the Jennifer Lawrence nudes. And if you want a bit more, there are plenty of lewd scenes as well, in which she’s not naked enough to count as a nude scene but is naked enough to elicit some faps from the viewers, and really, what more could you ask for. Now go on and enjoy all the nude scenes with Jennifer Lawrence naked in Red Sparrow.

Christina Ricci Naked – After.Life – Blu ray

Watching Christina Ricci naked in movies was one of the things that made the first decade of the new millennium worth living. Indeed, when I think of the 00s, I think of nu metal, three quarter shorts, and Christina Ricci nude on the television screen – DVD if you were lucky; VHS otherwise. Anyone that has been following (and fapping to) her career knows that we have since been blessed with blu ray releases of even some of her earlier work, which meant enjoying the nudity in crisp high definition. I can tell you for free that teenage me would have probably died of bliss if someone told him that in a decade, all of his favorite nude scenes would start getting full HD releases. Of course, we’re at the stage now when full HD nudity is becoming the minimum acceptable standard and what is currently accepted as the impressive resolution is 4K ultra HD 2160p. Truly the relentless march of technology.

There is a bit of a dark side to it all, though. Sure, it starts off with borderline-innocent (but more borderline than innocent) stories of a barely legal Christina partying with an even younger Gaby Hoffman and Courtney Love (yes, the Courtney Love of playing-guitar-naked-on-stage fame) and being dragged by the latter to casinos and strip clubs. Then you get to the darker stuff like not getting the lead roles during the romantic comedy era because she was typecast as the emotionally dead – or, in the case of this film, literally dead – goth girl that exists to get naked. The New York Times article even appears to confirm that Christina Ricci had breast reduction surgery at the age of 19 “because she couldn’t stand the way people talked about her body.” This is certainly news to me since for the bulk of her adult career, the Santa Monica-born actress has denied multiple times ever having plastic surgery to make her boobs smaller, or so the meme goes. People have certainly been guessing that she’s had a boob job (anti-boob job?) for ages. I guess your tits can only shrink so much before people start being suspicious that it’s not weight loss alone causing it.

Even so, this seems not to have distracted from the cornucopia of Christina Ricci nude scenes, which continue to carry legends of their own. In a very recent episode of Variety’s Actors on Actors, the actress told Sydney Sweeney of a movie in which she was pretty much naked for the entire time and remained naked between shots of nude scenes. Something about looping the awkwardness all the way around to being not awkward again, a set of experiences which the Independent have linked quite appropriately to a more direct interview with the Euphoria actress. In the Variety interview, Christina Ricci doesn’t actually say which movie she is talking about. Some commenters have assumed that the movie in question is Black Snake Moan. I can understand why. It’s one of my favorite movies to beat my meat to… I mean to enjoy the natural beauty of the human form… to. But I have another theory. I’m a lot more confident that the movie in question, the one in which Christina Ricci was naked through much of the shooting, was none other than After.Life.

Everyone knows all about the endless scenes in Black Snake Moan of Christina Ricci, sexy in a Confederate crop top and daisy dukes, or even just the crop top and a pair of stained white panties… or even just the white panties and a heavy metal chain. And there were nude scenes in that too. Oh good Lord, were there nude scenes in Black Snake Moan. But you see, the reason I thought that didn’t fit with her description in the interview is because in that movie, she is dressed in very skimpy, barely-there clothing for just about the entirety of the film, but she’s only actually naked for short bursts of it. So flip the calendar forward two years to 2009, and you have a very different movie that did not get quite as much fanfare. I’m of course once again talking about the psychological horror-thriller tittysploitation film that is After.Life.

After.Life starts with a Christina Ricci sex scene and the kind of gratuitous, in-your-face nudity in that pretty much sets the stage for the rest of it. Man, do we see a lot of Christina Ricci nude in it. More to the point, for the entire sort of middle-to-end part of the movie, her character just does not wear clothes. Like, she’s completely nude throughout the whole part of the film. That situation begins, almost fetishistically, with Liam Neeson’s funeral home mortician-person-serial killer character cutting her flimsy red dress off with a pair of scissors while she lies on her back on a mortuary slab, exposing her naked body for a camera that does not attempt to hide much (other than her pussy, I’m sad to report).

Big props to the lighting team too, because if you thought seeing Christina Ricci boobs in a thematically dark movie about death meant literal shadows everywhere, you couldn’t be more wrong. In fact, she is so damn well lit, that it’s almost like those scenes were made solely for titillation purposes. But they totally weren’t. I know I always say that as a joke, but in this case, they actually weren’t. Why do I say this? Because After.Life was written and directed by Polish filmmaker Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo in what is, quite impressively, her debut offering. I have said it time and time again, and now I’m going to say it once more: I don’t understand why this is such a recurring theme – I well and truly cannot make sense of it – but women write and women direct many of the best nude scenes in film and television. If anyone has any insight into why this is, please do share, because it’s one of the most counterintuitive phenomena I’ve encountered in a very long time.

After.Life might actually also be the only film where you can see the heavenly sculpture that is Christina Ricci ass unburdened by any textiles. From Prozac Nation to Z and everything between, I can’t think of a single nude scene that she’s done that has her ass on display, so this one has to win bonus points for that at least. Before anyone makes an Addams Family comment (she was underage, so, like, don’t), Netflix and Tim Burton did indeed team up to revive the franchise, and Christina Ricci is actually in it, but not playing Wednesday Addams, apparently. She’s not playing Morticia either, who will be played by none other than Catherine Zeta-Jones, who seems to have the inhuman power of preventing any of her nude scenes from being released in formats that aren’t the most substandard of standard definition. You know who thankfully doesn’t have that power? Look through this gallery of Christina Ricci naked in After.Life and take a guess.

Katy Breier Naked – The Boys – 4K Stream

I never thought we were ever going to see Katy Breier naked. Yes, I understand that The Boys is no stranger to nude scenes, but they seem to never be of its main cast. I’m going to lament yet once more that we have been blessed with no nude scene from Queen Maeve, neither in the show nor in Dominique McElligott’s other work (although we do get an unfortunately overdressed women-in-prison scene in this last episode). As for Starlight, Erin Moriarty has done a nude scene elsewhere, so she’s not completely opposed to the practice, but alas, nothing from her in The Boys. Why must Amazon tease us so?

Well, it was about time they made it right, and what better way to do so than to have a scene of an octopus – not an octopus-themed superhero, but an actual octopus – giving a blowjob to The Deep? OK, that in itself is causing very few nuts to bust, although I imagine some hentai fans in the house have just had their week made. The scene does, however, include nudity from The Deep’s weird wife, Cassandra Schwartz. Cassandra is played by, if you haven’t already surmised from the last paragraph, title, and URL, Canadian actress Katy Breier. In spite of her relatively long and sufficiently prolific career, there was never any movie or series that she acted in that included any scenes of Katy Breier nude… until now.

So in what context do we get to see Katy Breier nude in this latest episode of The Boys? So, first of all, I wasn’t joking about the octopus blowjob. Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll be able to move past it. You’ll try anyway. I believe in you. You’ll do it so you can see Katy’s sideboob and underboob as she rolls over in the bed in which said mollusc sex act is occurring. If you get past that, you will be further rewarded by getting a great view of her delicious ass as she walks away. Is it quite tame as far as nude scenes go? Sure. Is the best we have ever seen and may ever see of Katy Breier naked? Yes and probably, so enjoy.

Millie Brown Naked – Pendulum – HD Stream

This post is about Millie Brown naked. For any faceblind fappers who are here to see Millie Bobby Brown naked, take a step back and reassess the situation. I don’t want to rain on your parade, but we’re just not there yet. That said, Part 2 of Season 4 of Stranger Things is coming out on Netflix tomorrow, so for all I know, in only a few hours, Eleven will be doing full frontal pole dancing at the Hawkins Lab cantina and the first ever Millie Bobby Brown nude scene will be released to the world. I jest, of course. Netflix are known for their almost schizophrenic but mostly hesitant position on nude scenes in their movies and shows. Honorable mention goes out to Bloodline, the Netflix show that gave us a glorious full frontal nude scene from Andrea Riseborough.

But let’s not get too carried away on tangents. For those who are not aware of who this Millie Brown is, she’s a performance artist originally out of London but currently based in Los Angeles. She is probably most well known for her collaborations with Lady Gaga, which include rubbing their pussies together on stage while scantily clad and riding a mechanical bull. Yeah, I don’t know either, but this kind of performance art at least gives us tons of nudity to rave about, and Lady Gaga is no stranger to that even when collaborating with others. I assume everyone remembers Lady Gaga shambling blindfolded and nude through the woods in The Abramovich Method. Yes, that Marina Abramovich.

Millie Brown knows that the main way to get performance art right is for it all to be done completely nude. Pendulum is no exception to this. When the video starts, she has already undressed completely and is standing in the middle of a hangar or warehouse or something, surrounded by a bunch of clothed dudes. If you can’t guess from the title, she ends up turning herself into a sort of human pendulum. She gets suspended by her feet and hangs from the ceiling while paint gets dripped all over her. She then swings around, and the paint drips off of her onto the canvas underneath. The results is obviously a painting with precision and virtuosity to rival even the Dutch Masters (the painters, not the drug addicts, although…).

The line between performance art and porn blurs ever so slightly as Millie Brown gets tied up in Kinbaku or Shibari or whatever that style of Japanese rope bondage is called. Either way, I’ve seen enough Japanese pornos to understand the implications. That said, I don’t mind how absolutely silent the performance artist is throughout the whole video. I never could get into that whining in Japanese porn. Is it meant to be erotic or is it meant to remind fappers of what they’ll have to listen to if they forget to buy milk on the way home from work? I don’t mind a good Japanese nude scene – and God knows Flower and Snake Zero is one of my favorite films to beat off to – but that crying and whining, man. Just why?

I’m really going to stop going off on tangents now so that we can focus on Millie Brown’s boobs. I’ve clipped just a few shots from the video for the sake of brevity. If you want to see the full thing, it’s available in all its glory at on Nowness and so is some of her other work. That’s all. Now stop reading this drivel and go fap.