Fapsmith - Faptuary

Lauren Cohan Nude – Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj – DVD

This is a revived post from the faptuary.net days. Click here for what this means. Information below may be neither current nor intelligent.
Original post: April 19, 2012

If you’ve been watching AMC’s The Walking Dead, and you’re as much a social butterfly as I am, then the first thing you probably did after Season 2′s opening episode was go to Google and type in “magi green teh walkind dead noodz”. If the story sounds familiar so far, then you were probably also devastated by the fact that there were no results.

The first spike in Lauren Cohan fap fantasies started in 2007 with her role in Season 3 of The CW’s Supernatural, and similar frustrations were had. The most curious part of this all is that there actually has been a nude scene all along… kinda.

Anyone who’s watched the painfully formulaic college film that is Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj will remember a scene with a pillow as well as how much they wished that pillow wasn’t there. Well, turns out that if you do a frame-by-frame scan, the pillow isn’t covering the goods 100% of the time. Observe…

See! That’s, like, 5 pixels!

Most regrettable, of course, is the fact that this film has not yet been released for Blu-ray, so the best I could get is from the DVD release, which is in a rather piddly 853 x 480 resolution. Here is the clip, the shots from the GIF one by one, and few more from the scene. Also, don’t forget the bonus GIFset on the official Tumblr. [RIP official Tumblr]

Amber Heard Nude – The Informers – Blu ray

This is a revived post from the faptuary.net days. Click here for what this means. Information below may be neither current nor intelligent.
Original post: April 17, 2012

There are only three things you need to know about The Informers – Amber Heard is in it, she’s naked in most of her scenes, and a Flock of Seagulls song plays through one of them. All further discussion is futile.

Caps are from the Blu-ray disc and are in a wider 1920 x 800. Video clip of this scene will be up in a few days.

Emilia Clarke Nude – Game of Thrones: Fire and Blood – Blu ray

This is a revived post from the faptuary.net days. Click here for what this means. Information below may be neither current nor intelligent.
Original post: April 16, 2012

That’s what you’re missing out on if you haven’t been watching HBO’s Game of Thrones.

Admittedly a bit of a spoiler since this is the last scene of the last episode of Season 1, but its inclusion is necessary as it is, hands down, the greatest 30 seconds of the series thus far. Because bewbs obviously weren’t enough for the valiant producers, if you didn’t notice it already, this scene also comes with a dragon. A fucking dragon!

Since the series started in the Spring of 2011, actress Emilia Clarke – previously only known for the horrendous Syfy film, Triassic Attack – has been stealing the hearts of nerds, fanboys and other lonely fappers worldwide with her innocent charm and copious “tasteful” nude scenes.

Caps and clip are taken from the Blu-ray release of Season 1 and are in crisp 1920 x 1080.

Natalie Dormer Naked – Game of Thrones – 4K Blu ray

I still think about Natalie Dormer naked in Game of Thrones a lot. Falling asleep at night, I think of her naked. Bored at work, I think of her naked. Carrying a coffin at a loved one’s funeral, Natalie Dormer’s nude scene is playing out in from of my eyes. It’s like an obsession. This is quite possible my most treasured nude scene. It goes without saying my dick got more than a few flutters of blood pressure when the 4K UHD blu ray for Season 2 of Game of Thrones came out. The discerning among you will notice that the quality doens’t quite scale up as well compared to a normal 1080p blu ray, largely due to the H.265 codec not being quite as robust at the finest detail as H.264 was, but there is more detail in the 4K nonetheless.

Game of Thrones nude scenes are about a dime a dozen. At the same time, it’s no secret that the largest part of them were frontloaded into the first season. Indeed, Season 1 had a nude scene just about every episode, and half of the were from Emilia Clarke, who, as we know, was in the role of Daenerys Targaryen, a major character. In fact, she was probably the most major character, and she had her tits out in half the episodes. Then Season 2 began, and it was mostly over. It’s for that reason that Natalie Dormer’s introduction in the same season and the nude scene that followed were such welcome additions to the show. Unfortunately, this was the first and last on-screen nudity from her in the show. But enough negativity.

The first time we see Natalie Dormer nude in Game of Thrones is when she corners her gay husband Renly in a tent and undoes her dress, opening it up from the front, and letting it fall to the ground. Margaery Tyrell is aware that Renly is only into dudes at this point, so she’s very clearly flashing her tits to the audience, not to him. It’s logically inconsistent, but HBO do need to squeeze in the nudity one way or another, and they’re not going to let a passionless marriage of convenience stop them.

The rest of the scene plays out with Natalie Dormer topless throughout. It’s actually a marvel of good cinematography as far as fapping is concerned. We basically get a full front quadrant of boobage, from front on titty shots all the way to the very fappable sideboob. There’s even a point where the camera pans down from Margaery’s face to her crotch (while she’s topless, of course). Unfortunately, this movement is too quick, and even at very high-bitrate encoding, there’s a blur that was captured by the original camera and therefore impossible to overcome.

There is a sort of kind of Natalie Dormer sex scene in a later season where she’s getting it on with Tommen Baratheon, but, true to form for HBO past a first season, there’s no visible nudity in it. Even though she’s not quite Eva Green-tier in her nudity, there are still other films and shows to see Natalie Dormer naked in, including The Tudors, The Fades, Rush, The Scandalous Lady W, In Darkness, and if you think you can beat off to a minimal-resolution, black-and-white, rear shot of a woman who may or may not even be Natalie Dormer, Picnic at Hanging Rock. Overwhelmed? Then ignore all of that and enjoy Natalie Dormer nude in Game of Thrones below.

Anya Chalotra Naked – The Witcher – 4K Stream

Do you want to see Anya Chalotra naked in The Witcher? The answer is obviously “yes.” The bad news is that you won’t be getting any of that in the newly-released second season of the show. The good news is that Season 1 was such a treasure trove of nude scenes from Anya, that we can all fap ourselves dry to them. Not gonna lie, I did want this to be a post of new nude scenes from Yennefer, but alas, none were offered this year. That said, the first episode of the season did include some naked action from the delicious Agnes Born, which I recommend integrating into your fap rituals.

For those who have been living under a rock, Anya Chalotra plays Yennefer of Vengerberg, a mage who used to be a hunchback called Piglet. Or she used to be a piglet. Or she used her mage powers to possess a piglet. I don’t remember. Season 1 was all the way in the copper age of 2019. The important thing is that we got to see Anya Chalotra naked a lot in it. Some of you are going to bring up that it was reported that she used a body double. The first thing to clarify is that this was not in all scenes. In fact, it was exactly one scene. The second thing is that any scene posted in this post is of Anya herself, not her body double, whom it is apparently absolutely crucial to recognize is called Flora.

So the first time we see the actual Anya Chalotra nude is when she undergoes a rather gruesome transformation to have her deformities healed. Hunchbacks just aren’t in fashion anymore. But don’t be sad. If you have a thing for hunchbacks, the first nude scene is of a fully hunchbacked, not to mention fully naked, Yennefer strapped to a chair, surrounded by fire, while a fellow fingers some scalpels and other such instruments of torture. Pretty bold move for Netflix, to be fair. There are literal fetish sites that produce erotic content less perilous than this scene. As you can imagine, she gets really sweaty, screams in torment a lot, and finishes crumpled on the floor in a pool of blood. Exactly the kind of family-friendly nudity Netflix is famous for.

If you’d rather stare at Anya Chalotra topless without all the BDSM stuff, the rest of the season has got you covered. We see her disrobing to join Henry Cavill’s Geralt in a bath tub (don’t get to excited by that last part; I scrubbed frame by frame, and Henry Cavill’s dick is covered by a flesh-colored swimsuit). We also see her sitting naked on a bed with Jaskier the bard unconscious behind her. She then follows him around the room menacingly. She had made an effort to get dressed by this point, but her robe continues to hand open, boobs in full view, throughout.

There are a pair of sex scenes, but in one of them, it’s a body double (cheers, Flora), and in the other one, no nudity is visible. Such is life. I know that many will be disappointed by the absolute absence of nudity from Yennefer in this latest season of the show, but remember, The Witcher is not yet over. More seasons are on the way, and with a bit of luck and a smattering of divine intervention, we’ll see Anya Chalotra naked in the show again.