2010s Nude Scenes in Film and Television - Page 7

Alexandra Daddario Naked – True Detective – Blu ray

Where were you when you first saw Alexandra Daddario naked? That’s not a rhetorical question. Think about it. Try and remember. Maybe it was back in 2014. You watched the first season of True Detective on HBO. The first episode comes and goes, but there is no nudity from any of the main characters. Naked extras is fine, but that’s not what tickles you pink. No, you want to see nude scenes from those familiar names and familiar faces. You watch the second episode. You’d heard rumors that there was going to be a bona fide (or even bonerfied) Alexandra Daddario nude scene. You were suspicious. Of course you were. You had never seen Alexandra Daddario’s boobs, and God knows you had tried time and time to find images or video of them.

Alexandra Daddario’s breasts might even not exist, you thought. At the very least, there was no evidence that her nipples did. You watched her in those Percy Jackson movies, but being a series geared at teens or families or whatever the hell the point of it was, you never got to see her character Annabeth Chase nude. You cursed the powers-that-be in Hollywood for robbing you of that pleasure as your balls grew bluer and bluer. You needed to fap to Alexandra Daddario nude pics, but no one was making it happen. How could the film and television industry be so cruel? How could life be so cruel? But then you heard news that perked your pecker up like the head of rodent when a raptor’s cry is heard overhead…

We were going to see Alexandra Daddario nude in Texas Chainsaw 3D. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies are filled with tits and ass, nudity as far as the eye can see, erect nipples protruding out of every surface – bras, shirts, cardboard, steel girders, tungsten monoliths, everything! So obviously – OBVIOUSLY – the one Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie with your favorite actress in the lead role is the one that happens to have not even the tiniest sliver of fucking nudity. Maybe in the years to come, you even read the rumors all over the internet that Alex offered to do the bondage scene where she is tied up topless. You may or may not be into BDSM, but Alexandra’s bare breasts swaying back and forth while her arms are tied over her head would be better fap material than any Playboy issue, even if it featured nothing but the strikingly blue-eyed actress naked from cover to cover.

But alas, you did not get to see Alexandra Daddario topless, not even a glimpse at her exposed ass, in Texas Chainsaw 3D. Maybe you heard as part of the rumors that the nudity decision was vetoed by the film’s director, John Luessenhop. Is that true? Is that untrue? Who fucking knows. One thing we do know is that if nothing else, Luessenhop has spoken at great length about the entire production team’s extensive fetishization of Alexandra Daddario’s belly. Not that he calls it that. No, in the interview, he consistently refers to it as her “stomach” – not only an oddly clinical term, but also not strictly a correct one, referring to her internal organ instead. Maybe John-boy’s spent too much time directing films about serial killers. Incidentally, Texas Chainsaw 3D was the very last film he directed, so maybe he felt the same. Or maybe it was true that he axed the fabled Alexandra Daddario nude scene that was not to be and was never given work again as a result. So much intrigue.

At this stage, you felt that you will never get a look at the mystical but unachievable Alexandra Daddario pussy. I mean, you can’t see her boob, her nip, a private sextape is obviously out of the question, so it is clearly wholly out of the question that you will ever see any part of Alexandra Daddario’s goddess-like body. You resigned yourself to your fate. Maybe that was your spunk-crusted Japanese anime love doll or maybe you fapped to other nude scenes… maybe you even spent some time with your wife or girlfriend. Maybe your relationship even improved without the dark specter of Alexandra Daddario’s eyes – as blue as she makes men’s balls – constantly luring you in for a fap that can never be completed, like a siren’s call to the murky waters where tits are invisible and so is everything else that doesn’t fit into Millennium Films’ “stomach” fetish. But that was to change…

You heard that very soon, we would all finally have those Alexandra Daddario nudes that we’ve craved so hard, not through the benevolence of some fake porn director, but through HBO, who as we know, never let us down with nude scene from Game of Thrones or True Blood. I mean, they totally did, but never in the first season. The first seasons were always Fap City. And Alex was going to be in the first season of HBO’s newest show, True Detective. But wait. You’d been burned before. Was this going to be Texas Chainsaw 3D all over again? You were cautious. Not dismissive, but cautious. You watched the first episode. No nude scenes that you were waiting for. You watched the second episode…

And there it was – a real, proper, true-to-form Alexandra Dadario nude scene. And what a nude scene it was. Not even the Jennifer Lawrence Fappening leaks that opened the floodgates of that phenomenon could overtake the True Detective nude scene as the internet’s favorite piece of celeb nudity. From that very first moment, when her shirt passes over the threshold of her diamond-hard nips, allowing her beautiful breasts to breathe free, unrestrained by the burden of wretched textiles, all the way to the last shot of the scene, when she’s bent over in nothing but a top, lower half completely naked, with Woody Harrelson sniffing or licking out her asshole or whatever the hell he was doing back there while Alex had that predatory expression on her face.

We were even graced with the very first Alexandra Daddario sex scene in that same episode. You mashed furiously as Alex rubbed her completely naked body all over Woody’s woody (and mercifully clothed body). She was even thankful for your efforts, having said in an interview that she finds the attention that fappers have given her scene “very flattering.” That’s right. Alex noticed you. No, not just anyone. Alexandra Daddario noticed you, Mike. She did tell MTV that it was a “huge challenge,” so I hope you’re appreciative of her sacrifice, Mike.

Was that the last time we saw the 8th and 9th wonders of the world that are the fabled Alexandra Daddario tits? Thankfully not. The New York native has done a number of other nude scenes in the years that followed, but have any of them measured up? Your opinion may or may not differ to mine, but my stance is that none of the other have. The True Detective nude scene is one that will live forever in the annals of history as a watershed moment in television nudity. Unfortunately, that high has not been outdone by any of her other efforts, which have been significantly more tame. But hey, she’s young, so there’s time. Now it’s time to unload to what is – as I write – hopefully the clearest, crispest screen captures of Alexandra Daddario naked in True Detective available anywhere.

Johanne Fossheim Naked – Heim – 4K Stream

This week’s expression of high culture is a post about the absolutely gorgeous Johanne Fossheim naked in the short film, Heim. Incidentally, we’re sort of coming full circle with this post, since one of the earliest posts that I did since reviving the Faptuary was also a Norwegian actress. But wait; the circle has another loop. Back in the .net days, I covered another film by director Aleksander Nordaas. That film was Thale. It featured another Norwegian stunner in the buff, but more than that, it was about the very same mythological creature, the Huldra.

For those who are curious, the Huldra is a beautiful forest nymph with an animal’s tail. I’d like to pretend that that doesn’t tingle my loins, but as I reflect, I have covered catgirls and wolfgirls before, so maybe there’s something frightening going on in my subconscious. Or maybe it’s just because these kinds of movies always pick the best-looking actresses for these roles. God knows I fapped myself raw to Silje Reinåmo, who played the huldra in the original film. She also, if memory serves, never wore proper clothes throughout the movie. I’m not entirely sure that that’s part of the mythology, but I am certainly not complaining, especially because…

We see Johanne Fossheim nude in Heim a whole lot more than we saw Silje Reinåmo nude in Thale. I suspect some part of that is due to the latter being a film that has to play in theaters and be rated and everything, whereas the former is a short, which allows for so much more creative freedom. Now, don’t get me wrong; I did love Thale to bits, to the point that it flipped my view on Norwegian cinema, which had been mildly tainted by a very popular Norwegian movie that I had seen that shall not be named but sucked absolute ass. That said, the nudity in Thale was very “artistic.” You know what that means. Low lighting, directional lighting to obscure the naughty bits, tactical camera angles, frustratingly but intentionally positions props… need I go on?

In Heim, not only do we see Johanne Fossheim topless in as clear a shot as anyone can shoot, but we see… well, literally everything. Short of the short including a scene from her colonscopy, there is nothing that is left to the imagination, making this one of the hallowed Faptuary post to hit the holy trifecta of ass, boobs, and pussy. And regarding the last point, it’s all on display. The actress’ pubic hair is short trimmed, so not a full bush, but long enough to be visible, while also being short enough to not obscure anything. Both outer and inner labia are clearly visible in a number of shots. That’s right, gentlemen; the pussy lips are fully on display.

If you want the full experience of watching Johanne Fossheim walk through an enchanted forest as a naked huldra, the director has the full short available on Vimeo, complete with English subtitles so that nothing is missed – not a single word and not a single body part. As always, I remain eternally grateful for the directors of Scandinavian shorts – especially in the context of my recent coverage of the two actresses from the Danish short, Teenland – so here is a selection of shots of Johanne Fossheim naked in Heim.

Florence Welch Naked – The Odyssey – HD Stream

Perhaps having a post about Florence Welch naked is a bit out of character for the Faptuary, but to be fair, I have been branching out a bit, like when I posted the most important moment of Holly Willoughby’s career some time back. This is kind of like that. Like, I’m sure most of you have been in the situation where you’re driving, here a song come on the radio, and say to yourself, “Man, I wish I knew what that singer’s boobs looked like.” Usually those questions go unanswered because unlike actresses, musicians don’t need to get their tits out in music videos…

Unless you’re the lead singer of Florence and the Machine. Yes, it’s true. Their music videos feature shots of Florence Welch nude. I think this kind of thing should take off. God knows music videos have become a bit passé now. The once proud MTV has managed to dip even below its already shite reputation of a channel for lame reality shows to becoming merely a memory that boomers talk about when they’re in the stage of their complaint cycle where they talk about how much greater things used to be. The other stage of their complaint cycle, of course, is talking about how much greater things are now, during which they’ll bring up music videos on demand via YouTube. Yet even YouTube is becoming old-fashioned to zoomers, whose ADHD has reached levels that were previously not believed possible.

Filling music videos with shots of Florence Welch nude could just be the injection of life that the industry needs to bring the medium back to its old splendor. Now, you may be confused as to why this post is about The Odyssey when in fact there is no song of that name by Florence and the Machine. So just to clarify, The Odyssey is a short film that creates a sort of overarching story across five of the band’s songs, namely “What Kind of Man,” “St. Jude,” “Delilah,” “Ship to Wreck,” and “Queen of Peace.” I appreciate that I would normally do a post per feature, but even though these are separate music videos, the clips are so short and spread out, that it would just be silly to do it that way, so I’m treating The Odyssey as a whole. Speaking of which, the full short is available on YouTube if you feel that you would fap to the Florence Welch nude shots better with audio.

There isn’t a high volume of full on shots of Florence Welch naked, but the music video/short movie does have plenty of lewd moments. Those who are aware of Florence and the Machine know that Florence Welch does like to display her diamond hard nipples through her tops as often as she can. So even when there is no nudity in The Odyssey, we get second best. Strangely enough, other than some rumblings at Coachella – and I mean Florence Welch stripping off, not breaking her foot – she is surprisingly dressed in her stage performances. You’d expect, with how lewd this round of music videos is, that she’d do a sort of Courtney-Love-naked-on-stage thing, but sadly not. Maybe soon.

I do want to say, lest anyone should get any false hope, there is no full frontal nudity in The Odyssey, but we do see Florence Welch topless on a few occasions. In one, a man is nuzzling her breasts with his face. In another, she’s lying on her back on a bed but tilted toward the camera for… reasons. Then there are a few moments when there’s sideboob visible, and maybe you’re not quite sure whether you’re seeing a nip or not, but if you freeze frame it at the right time, you definitely are seeing nips. Admittedly, the shots would be better if the angle was more toward the front, but as a long-time sideboob aficionado, I can’t say I disapprove. To not have too lean a post, I’ve padded some lewd shots along with the Florence Welch nude frames below.

Mariana Novak Naked – The Penal Colony – HD Stream

If you watched the new fourth season of Stranger Things this past week, you probably wanted to see Mariana Novak naked, even if it was only subconscious. The actress has a small role in the seventh episode as a nurse in the infirmary where Eleven and the other members of Junior Slipknot practice their superpowers. Although her character is not named beyond quite literally “Hawkins Infirmary Nurse”, she does have spoken lines, but most of all, I found myself captivated by her radiant beauty. As is always the case in situations such as these, my next move was to go onto Google Images and search for “mariana novak nude”.

I did indeed get a number of images of Mariana Novak nude. I wasn’t completely satisfied with the offerings, though. It’s nothing to do with the actress, of course. No, she is absolutely stunning. But the only Mariana Novak nude scenes available don’t offer quite the right arrangement of pixels to have an amazing fap to. She had a nude scene in Ozark, but even if you put aside how dark it is, the camera is mostly behind her, catching only a little bit of sideboob. Not enough for a seasoned fapper. The only other option is her nude scene in The Penal Colony. The camera is coming in from the right direction and there is plenty of full frontal nudity. The only problem is that it’s quite dark. Since I’m never one to back down from a challenge, I viewed it as my duty to color correct it to maximum fappability, and here we are.

We see Mariana Novak nude in The Penal Colony, where she plays Nadezhda Tolokonnikova from the Russian band Pussy Riot. Called Nadya in the short, it’s a clipped bio of the activist and her time in a Russian women’s prison. The film details a number of the abuses she experienced as well as those she witnessed, one of which was the prominent scene where a fellow inmate is forced to strip and work completely naked for falling behind. The Mariana Novak nude scene we get is as part of a group shower scene. It includes, as previously mentioned, full frontal nudity, and from Mariana, that means tits, trimmed pubic hair, and even visible labia. The full short is available to watch on the filmmaker’s Vimeo.

Frederikke Dahl Hansen Naked – Teenland – HD Stream

You might recognize Frederikke Dahl Hansen naked from the earlier post where we covered Victoria Carmen Sonne nude in the same short. I am referring to Teenland, by director Marie Grahtø Sørensen, which is available to watch on her Vimeo profile. I have said in so many posts that female directors are responsible for many of the best nude scenes around, and with every post I add, it becomes more and more unwieldy to bring up all past examples or even an acceptably representative selection of same. My solution to this problem is the long-overdue introduction of the F-Rated tag, with a specific focus on female directors.

The Danish actress is perhaps most well known for Copenhagen, a (partially) English-language film about Renly Baratheon’s exodus from Westeros and quest to replace his beard, Margaery Tyrell, with a younger model. Then ice demons appear and burn the Christiansborg Slot to the ground or something… I don’t quite remember. Incidentally, that movie does contain a Frederikke Dahl Hansen nude scene, and even though the character is meant to be underage, do not panic, the actress was an adult when the movie was shot.

There is no shortage of Frederikke Dahl Hansen nude pics and videos on the internet. The actress has been generous to viewers, getting her tits out as often as the situation allows for it, let alone calls for it. A lot of these nude scenes have been in Danish features, so naturally, viewers from outside the small Scandinavian nation may not be aware of them, but if you’re looking for a good reason to expand the borders of your cultural knowledge, what better answer than titties?

We see Frederikke Dahl Hansen topless for the first time in Teenland when she apparates in a bathtub. In the first such shot, the camera is only catching the very top of her areola, so as with Victoria’s scene, you may think that you’re being teased into blue balls. Fortunately, this is quickly fixed when another camera angle takes center stage, showing us some amazing sideboob of Frederikke’s majestic pair.

The other scene in which we see Frederikke Dahl Hansen nude is when she and her co-star are running through a corridor wearing nothing but pink panties, as one does. This scene is great because you effectively get 2-for-the-price-of-1 (or 4-for-the-price-of-2, depending on perspective). Frederikke is unfortunately no particularly in focus, being somewhat closer to the camera, and both actresses’ movements are rather fast, leaving considerably blur on the freeze frames, but that don’t mean they can’t be fapped to. That’s part 2 of 2 for the Danish short, so enjoy the screens of Frederikke Dahl Hansen nude in Teenland below.