F-Rated / Female Writer Nude - Page 3

Olivia Colman Naked – Confetti – HD Stream

There is only one feature in which we have seen Olivia Colman naked, and it wasn’t even meant to be. In an interview with The Guardian back in 2007, the year after Confetti came out, the Norvician actress described filming the movie as “the worst experience of [her] life.” Apparently, the Olivia Colman nude scenes we got should have included a lot less nudity. In the same interview, the Academy Award-winning actress said that she was led to believe that “the nudity wouldn’t be quite as awful as it was.” Robert Webb, her co-star, said that he was told the nudity would all be pixelated, only finding out it wasn’t at the screening, where co-star Jessica Hynes apparently made a cheeky comment about his pee-pee, which sounds like something straight out of a CFNM fantasy.

So what are these Olivia Colman nude scenes everyone is referring to? Well, in the film, she plays a naturist – or, if you prefer the less in vogue term, a nudist. Who could have thought that there would be nudity in a film where one set of characters are nudists? Madness! To be fair, if the deal was that it was going to be pixelated, then that’s a pretty scummy move that the studio pulled on our Sophie. Worked out pretty well for all the fappers out there who have wanted to see Olivia Colman naked since Peep Show, but I suppose I would be none too impressed if I were in that situation. Doubly so when you consider that the actress has always (presumably intentionally) had a no nudity policy. I don’t even know if she has any lewds out there, let alone nudes.

I know you might be thinking that it was some Harvey Weinstein-type greaseball character that is responsible for the Olivia Colman nude scenes that should not be, but it was none other than Nativity! creator and frequent Martin Freeman collaborator Debbie Isitt. Well, she was the director and writer of the film in any event, which once again reinforces my oft-repeated belief that women direct and write some of the best nude scenes. Before you ask, yes, Martin Freeman is in Confetti as well, but no, Bilbo Baggins does not get his dick out. And while we’re at it, we don’t see co-stars Meredith MacNeill or Jessica Hynes nude either. The only naturists from among the main characters are Olivia and Robert Webb’s characters.

But to compensate for that, we sure do see Olivia Colman topless a lot in Confetti. For starters, she is literally completely naked for the majority of her scenes, and in some portion of them, she’s topless but wearing a scarf-like thing around her waist. Very frustratingly, these tend to be the scenes where we would have gotten a nice, close-up frontal shot of her trimmed pubic region, but to be fair, that’s almost certainly why she was wearing the scarf in those moments in the first place. That’s not to say that we got nothing close. There were quite a few scenes where her bush is on show and even a few frames where if you look really, really, really, really hard, you can just about make out her pussy lips. Very nice. Very nice indeed.

Confetti remains the only movie where you can see Olivia Colman’s tits, and with her meteoric success over the past decade, this is unlikely to change. Add into the equation that these nude scenes should not have been released in the first place, and that makes it a near certainty. But realistically, after winning the six million prestigious awards that she has, including a literal Oscar, I don’t imagine the 48-year-old actress starring in a string of boob scenes now. I appreciate that didn’t stop Emma Thompson in the most explicit nude scenes of her career, and in her 60s, no less, but that’s far from standard. When there is famine in the future, the best we can do is remember the feasts of the past, and so I give you Olivia Colman naked in Confetti.

Rachel Shelley Naked – The L Word (Prison Arc) – HD Stream

We didn’t get too many scenes of Rachel Shelley naked in The L Word, but one of the ones we did get is absolutely amazing. I’m talking about the brief story arc that opens Season 5 during which Helena Peabody is in prison. For those who didn’t follow The L Word, the arc covered the first three episodes of the fifth season. It is pure women-in-prison magic, but with an interesting twist in that, off the top of my head, I cannot think of any major women-in-prison features other than Orange Is the New Black that are told from a female perspective. Yes, obviously, the main characters are all women, but the writers and directors tend to be greaseball men like the God-Emperor of Sleaze Jess Franco – or as he came to be known after his ascension, Jesús Franco.

If I say that the three episodes we are looking at in The L Word were all written and directed by women, I would likely surprise no one. After all, the whole point of the show was that it was a “groundbreaking take on gay women’s lives” and “focused primarily on the stories of lesbian and bisexual women”, and naturally, it was created, written, and directed by a team of women. Seeing a story arc about a women’s prison and all of the trappings of the genre from that perspective has been both illuminating and satisfying.

We actually don’t see Rachel Shelley nude in the first episode of the season. The appropriately titled LGB Tease includes one of the critical elements of the genre, which is the prisoner intake. We have Rachel Shelley naked in it – well, technically naked but covering her boobs with a handbra – while a corrections officer wearing a pair of blue latex gloves leers menacingly from behind her. The shot ends with Helena Peabody bending forward to get her ass and vagina thoroughly fingered, but alas, none of this is captured on camera. In fact, the episode ends with no further nudity from the Swindon native, living up to its title.

The tease doesn’t last long because we do see Rachel Shelley topless in the very next episode, titled Look Out, Here They Come!, which may or may not have been a reference to the tsunami of orgasms from all aficionados of women-in-prison flicks. The context is, of course, a prison shower. You know how these kinds of scenes go, don’t you? Big open shower rooms with droves of completely nude female prisoners, soaped up and wet, getting into fights, the works. We do indeed see Rachel Shelley nude here for the first (and sadly last) time in the story arc, but what we are not given in quantity, we get plenty of in quality.

If you thought Showtime did well with the women-in-prison nude scene in this episode, you’re probably going to be quite enraged when you find out that there was a spin-off of The L Word planned that was going to take place entirely within a women’s prison, but it never saw the light of day. It was to be called The Farm, and apparently the pilot was filmed and everything, but alas, no biters at Showtime. Sad. Incidentally, this nude scene here also includes full frontal nudity from former Canadian Member of Parliament Lenore Zann, but more on that later. For now, enjoy Rachel Shelley naked in the prison story arc from The L Word.

Morgan Taylor Campbell Naked – The Orchard – HD Stream

We didn’t get to see Morgan Taylor Campbell naked as Tilda Weber in Netflix’s new series The Imperfects. The show had no nudity, so that was always going to be the case. But even looking back at the Canadian actress’ career, there isn’t exactly a trend of Morgan Taylor Campbell nude scenes in the films and television shows that she has been in. No, you would need at least two instances to establish a trend, and two, she does not have. She does, however, have one.

If you’ve read that title of this page, then it will be of no surprise to you when you read that we did get to see Morgan Taylor Campbell naked in The Orchard. We got to see her nude in the charming little Canadian film for the first time, for the only time, and a lot. And I mean a lot. When I was cutting down the shots for capture, I found there are about three-and-a-half minutes of continuous nudity from The Imperfects’ superheroine. I couldn’t say how many scenes that’s broken down into since there are plenty of ways to argue for what is or isn’t “the same scene,” but I can tell you that we see Morgan Taylor Campbell naked in the first five minutes of The Orchard, and then we get nudity from her with no more than 11-minute intervals between such shots until after the movie is an hour in.

I guess what I’m saying is that if we were cursed to only see Morgan Taylor Campbell nude in one lone feature of her career, I am so goddamn glad that it’s this. Now that she’s starring as Tilda Weber in the show that has taken Netflix’s number 2 spot, it’s unlikely that the Alberta native will be doing many more nude scenes. I mean, remember when Emilia Clarke had her tits out all the time in the first season of Game of Thrones and following its success, there was so much less nudity from her? Well, Morgan was already past nudity by the pilot season of The Imperfects, so it certainly isn’t coming up from here.

I mean, I certainly would like the already in-demand next season to The Imperfects to drop a Morgan Taylor Campbell sex scene out of nowhere, probably involving some itchy nipples and a stage show, but let’s be honest – that isn’t going to happen with nor without the silly factor. To put it into perspective, The Orchard came out the same year as Sadie’s Last Days on Earth, another Canadian movie, but one where she was actually the lead, rather than simply “the female lead,” and we haven’t gotten any more nudity from her since.

Now that she’s broken into Netflix stardom, it’s over for any fappers’ dreams (until her career fizzles and nudes of her on the beach get “leaked” with suspiciously convenient timing). I mean, it’s not especially likely that The Imperfects will take flagship status for Netflix in the same way that Stranger Things has, although the two shows have already been compared, but there is definitely enough traction there where we are about as likely to see her nude in the future as we are any of the stars from that show – though shoutout to the nurse from Hawkins Infirmary for her incredible nude scene in the women-in-prison short The Penal Colony.

But it ain’t so bad going back to The Orchard time and time again for our fix of Morgan Taylor Campbell topless. As I’d already said, she gets naked in the movie a lot, but there’s also something else about it – it’s actually a really good film. It’s sort of got a light-hearted comedy-drama vibe to it, certainly veering more toward comedy than drama, but man, the drama side of it actually hits quite hard. I’m not even joking when I say that the final third or so of the film was really moving. I can make a hundred dismissive comments about Morgan Taylor Campbell flashing her pussy lips several times in the movie with no shame (and I will), but it struck me that during a certain scene in the film that I won’t describe explicitly out of respect for anyone who wants to see it, her acting is so on point, it’s absolutely world class.

I’m reminded of the great Cortney Palm, who went to university for theater – University! For theater! – and still she’s mostly famous for her nude scenes. Now, they are some of the most incredible nude scenes around, including what, if memory serves, was her nude debut in Sushi Girl, but her talents are clearly being underutilized. Morgan Taylor Campbell did eventually move past that, and even in The Orchard, her acting skills were front and center, but so was her trimmed pubic hair with labia fully visible on screen. Not to mention her tits and ass. There is literally nothing of her we don’t see in that movie, and thank God for that.

In fact, whom we really have to thank for Morgan Taylor Campbell’s boobs being forever on the internet for all to see is writer and director Kate Twa, for whom The Orchard is one of only two directorial credits. I’ve waxed lyrical endlessly over female writers and directors being responsible for the best nude scenes, and here we have yet another example to the list. Between being tied completely naked to a tree and pulling goofy faces while having sex with a guy while the camera films up her ass, enjoy all the captures of Morgan Taylor Campbell nude in The Orchard below.

Camille Razat Naked – Emily in Paris – 4K Stream

While the show is by no means the only place where we can see Camille Razat naked, Emily in Paris is definitely the strangest. No, I have nothing at all against the series. In fact, I find it quite charming. But here’s the thing with Emily in Paris: It’s not a titty show. Seriously, if you’re going into it expecting Spartacus-level nudity, you couldn’t possibly end up more disappointed. We get Camille Razat nude in it in what is literally the only frontal nude scene across all episodes of both seasons. For those who don’t believe me, the episode in question is the third one from the second season, titled Bon Anniversaire! (I’m not overly excited; the exclamation mark is part of the title)

I find this nude scene amazing because it was so out of left field. I think I speak for pretty much everyone when I say that I was not expecting it at all when it aired out of nowhere. But as mentioned earlier, this is by no means the only feature with a Camille Razat nude scene. The first nude scene the French actress did was in a series from her home country, 2015’s The Disappearance / Disparue. Two years later, we got some amazing Camille Razat full frontal nudity in The Girl from the Pool / L’eau dans les yeux. 2018 was a blessing, showing us Camille Razat naked in the shower with a dude in (Girl)Friend / Ami-ami, dancing topless and having sex in Paris Pigalle / L’amour est une fête, and appearing topless and in lingerie in the short Bug, which had the same title in French.

The most recent film in which we’ve seen Camille Razat nude is last year’s The Accusation / Les choses humaines, in which we see some flashes of boob while she’s in bed with some old geezer. Of course, we’re not here for any of that. We’re here for the Netflix romantic comedy series that is Emily in Paris. Now, unlike when movies are romcoms, being a series and a streaming one at that, Netflix don’t have the need to offer some eye candy for all the guys that have been dragged into the theaters by their girlfriends. Emily in Paris is 100% a show for… shall we say the more feminine end of the spectrum. We did get a shot of Alexandrina Turcan’s ass in the first season, but that was contextually unavoidable and, again, nothing frontal.

When we see Camille Razat topless in Emily in Paris, it is all frontal. Just boobs left, right, and center. We’ve got Camille’s boobs, the boobs of the friends she’s with, and the boobs of everyone else in the steamy spa that they’re hanging out with. But wait a minute. Lily Collins’ character Emily Cooper is Camille’s character Camille’s friend, right? Yes. And Lily/Emily is with Camille/Camille in the spa, right? Yes. And every single woman in the spa is naked, right? Almost. Every single actress in the spa is naked throughout the entire 3-minute-long scene… except for one. Yes, my friends, we did not get to see Lily Collins nude in the spa scene from Emily in Paris. Missed opportunity of a lifetime, but to be fair, we don’t really get to see Lily Collins naked in anything. Well, not yet, anyway.

The episode in question was directed by Andrew Fleming, who is responsible for 11 of the 20 episodes of Emily in Paris as well as a couple of 90s cocktease films like Threesome and The Craft, so perhaps we owe this change of tone to Alison Brown, the episode’s writer, who had only worked on two other episodes in the show and reinforces my oft-made argument that female directors and, in this case, female writers are responsible for some of the best nude scenes in film and television. You can judge for yourself by enjoying the 4K Ultra HD capture of Camille Razat naked in Emily in Paris.

Tonya Kay Naked – The Amityville Terror – HD Stream

I was actually surprised when I saw Tonya Kay naked in The Amityville Terror. I don’t mean that I didn’t expect the mockbuster – the ten millionth one on the topic of The Amityville Horror – to have nude scenes. No, the nudity was very much expected, and in fact there was a whole lot less of it than I thought. The reason I was surprised is because I thought the main draw of the nude scenes would be Nicole Tompkins, who wears some pretty skimpy outfits but never gets nude (which incidentally is a trend throughout her career). I then expected to see Kim Nielsen nude in The Amityville Terror, but she too kept her no nudity policy going. There are a number of nude scenes from Amanda Barton, who is incidentally the film’s writer, and those are the only others.

Tonya Kay does have a pedigree for nude scenes, to be fair. I haven’t even seen any of these movies, but our friends at Mr Skin list Tonya Kay nude scenes in 2014’s Nightmare Code, Death Factory, and A Better Place, 2015’s Bastard, this movie, and 2017’s Paradise Club. That’s not even counting all of the ones that have slipped through the cracks, which is not difficult to do when you’re not quite at the level of fame as, say, Scarlett Johansson or Jennifer Lawrence. Seriously, can you imagine Scarlett’s nude debut in Under The Skin or Jennifer Lawrence’s bold nudity in Red Sparrow flying under the radar? Kimberley Nixon’s unintentional boob flash in Ordinary Lies, however…

So what’s the context for the Tonya Kay nude scene in The Amityville Terror? For starters, she’s not in it much, which is why I didn’t really expect her to fill one of the only two roles for boob actresses in the film. One of her few scenes is in the kitchen of a bar. She’s having sex with an employee while seated on a surface with her dress pulled down to expose her tits. She insists that the nameless, voiceless man that’s railing her keep on going while she discusses business with a third person. When the conversation sours, she pushes her boy toy off, gets up, and pulls her dress back up to cover her breasts, but not without hooking her nipple in the process, keeping it peeking for longer than was presumably intended (by the character, definitely not the director). So kick back, undo your trousers, and enjoy Tonya Kay naked in The Amityville Terror.