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Jessica Raine Naked – Becoming Elizabeth – 4K Stream

I fear I have failed you all in being the herald of this most wonderful news of Jessica Raine naked on screen for the first time in human history. You see, I’ve been sitting on this footage for over two weeks now. Yes, it’s true, but believe me, I have not been withholding it out of some sick desire to deprive all you good men and lesbos of a delightful fap. No, it’s because Becoming Elizabeth is a series that is produced by Starz. Yes, that Starz. The Starz that brought us Spartacus, the series that perhaps wins the award for most tits and ass on any non-pornography TV series in the history of television. My God, even softcore Cinemax (or, dare I say it, Skinemax) shows had less nudity than Spartacus. That’s the Starz we all know and love. Nudity as far as the eye can see and the cock can take, but funnily enough, better writing than most other networks anyway.

Jessica Raine appeared nude in Becoming Elizabeth in the very first episode. In fact, if memory serves, it was her very first scene in the entire show. It certainly happened a modest five-and-a-half minutes into the pilot episode. There’s about two minutes of nudity from our Nurse Jenny Lee (don’t you dare pretend you didn’t watch it for her), and then that was it for the rest of the episode. Naturally, I didn’t want to drip feed all of you fap material like some sort of demented pusher, so I was holding out until at least the second episode so that I could consolidate the material from the two and post it together. The second episode came and went and there was no nudity from any of the main characters. So I waited for the third episode. Would you like to guess how much nudity was in that one?

We have only seen Jessica Raine nude in Becoming Elizabeth once since the series began. Mind you, I am writing this between the airings of the third and fourth episodes, but given the trajectory, I suspect we won’t get any more from her until the season finale, if even that. To be honest, the show keeps on teasing an Alicia von Rittberg nude scene, including in this last episode when Tom Cullen as Thomas Seymour is undressing her by gradually cutting her clothes of piece by piece with a sword. But alas, still no nudity from the German actress. I know it’s going to happen eventually because in spite of this worrying trend of minimizing nude scenes in film and television, this ticks all of the boxes. She’s an up-and-coming actress who has landed in the lead role of a show, and that show is produced by fucking Starz, the network of boobs in every shot, no matter how unnecessary. I, for one, refuse to believe that their heyday is over.

So in what context do we see Jessica Raine topless for the one occasion so far that we do? In short, it’s a two minute long sex scene with her co-star. The English actress plays Catherine Parr, the widow of the recently departed King Henry, who moved on to boning his brother-in-law within picoseconds of his death, as one does. I’ll admit, the nude scenes aren’t exceptionally graphic, but considering this is the only time we have ever seen her naked, I’m not going to complain. I mean, if you have been waiting for this since the first season of Call the Midwife, you’ve probably gone all the way to typing “Jessica Raine bikini” into Google Images in a fit of desperation and still gotten nothing, so this is certainly more than we ever expected. Nonetheless, I would have hoped for something a little more than a few shots of nipple and some sideboob heavily obscured in shadow.

If you’ve been waiting to see Nurse Jenny Lee nude, in Call the Midwife or outside of it (but let’s be honest, Jessica Raine was at her peak in that show, somehow), then this is it for you for now. I hope you enjoy. And remember, just because you’re done fapping, doesn’t mean you should start Round Two immediately. And just to be clear so that there is no confusing, this post is not to do with the identically pronounced and similarly spelled Jenni Lee who used to get her tits out for money and was a huge thing before being forced to live as a Morlock in the abandoned adrenochrome mines below Las Vegas. God knows that is a better story, if for no reason other than the sheer insanity of it, but one for another time. For now, scroll for the gallery of all the caps of, for the first time ever, Jessica Raine naked.

Dorothy Duffy Naked – The Magdalene Sisters – HD Stream

You are not only looking at the only source in existence that shows Dorothy Duffy naked. You are also looking at, as I write, the highest quality images of Dorothy Duffy naked in existence, and that will probably not change unless my humble efforts here start a revolution of color correcting among celeb nude scene sites internet-wide. Spoiler alert: It won’t. Only I am both obsessive and demented enough to put myself through this for free. If you don’t believe me, I invite you to go to Google Images, type in “dorothy duffy nude,” and look at the results. See? Told you. Not ego tripping. Just saying. OK, maybe I am ego tripping just a little bit.

>inb4 your color correction isnt that good

Speaking of color correction, if you’ve already seen and fapped to the posts dedicated to Eileen Walsh and Anne-Marie Duff, you may have noticed that the screen captures here look a little bit different, and I don’t mean just which frames are used and where they’re cropped from. One benefit of a lot of things happening between the last time I covered this scene and now is that when I got back to it today, I could look at it with a fresh pair of eyes. The bad news is that I wasn’t fully satisfied with what I saw. The good news is that I’ve gone ahead and touched the scene up a little bit. I’m happier with the new version, which will be used when I cover the post for Nora-Jane Noone. I’m not going to go back to recapture stills for the previous two posts because some might prefer that look, but for what it’s worth, between this post and Nora-Jane’s, it will likely cover most bases where the other actresses are on screen. Yes, you get to work for your ideal faps.

So why do we see Dorothy Duffy nude in The Magdalene Sisters? It’s a perfectly typical and ordinary nude scene where she is forced to strip until she is completely naked, made to run in place for a bit, made to listen to humiliating comments about her naked body, including being told to turn around so that she can be told she has the back of a bricklayer (I’d still rub your back, Dorothy), and other such joys. The Magdalene Sisters is a film that straddles the line between – or perhaps embraces both of – the nunsploitation genre and the women-in-prison genre, all while being targeted at men and women of very high class and culture… and fappers.

But really, if all you want is to watch a minute or two of Irish nude women lined up for inspection by a Catholic nun, this is your dream. Well, mine anyway. If you have any suggestions for similar, please do share. You know the usual ways to get in touch – the contact page, the official Twitter, and of course by dropping a comment below. If you were specifically after Dorothy Duffy, then you’ll be either pleased or disappointed, depending on perspective, to know that I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that this is the only footage we have of the Irish actress nude. There is a scene in Childer where Dorothy Duffy shifts around while taking a bath, and you think that just for a fraction of a second her boobs are flashed under the water. I’m sad to say that when scrubbing through frame by frame, you can see that she has some sort of modesty band or flesh-colored boob tube or something covering her nips. I’m even more sad to say that I spent that time scrubbing through a short frame by frame just so that I could potentially catch a blurry, obscured shot of nip. Where did life all go so wrong?

Anyway, wherever that happened, at least I’ve got a row of Irish naked women to fap to over and over again, and now so do you. Although, I did run into some uncertainty over whether Dorothy Duffy actually is Irish (as in Republic of Ireland) or not. An article from Donegal Daily mentioned that she is based in and grew up around County Donegal in Republic of Ireland, but her Wikipedia entry says she was born in Northern Ireland (United Kingdom, not Republic). Confusingly, the cited source for that, the Irish Times, doesn’t say anything about where she’s born, but it does mention her working in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Upon a ton of digging, I finally found a source for the answer that is as authoritative as can be. Dorothy has a profile on AdVoice that includes a spoken introduction where she describes herself as Irish, says she was born in Douglas Bridge, Northern Ireland, and that she moved to the Republic of Ireland at the age of five. I knew all those restraining orders I collected from excessive stalking would justify themselves one day. Enjoy Dorothy Duffy naked in the screen captures below.

Alexandra Daddario Naked – True Detective – Blu ray

Where were you when you first saw Alexandra Daddario naked? That’s not a rhetorical question. Think about it. Try and remember. Maybe it was back in 2014. You watched the first season of True Detective on HBO. The first episode comes and goes, but there is no nudity from any of the main characters. Naked extras is fine, but that’s not what tickles you pink. No, you want to see nude scenes from those familiar names and familiar faces. You watch the second episode. You’d heard rumors that there was going to be a bona fide (or even bonerfied) Alexandra Daddario nude scene. You were suspicious. Of course you were. You had never seen Alexandra Daddario’s boobs, and God knows you had tried time and time to find images or video of them.

Alexandra Daddario’s breasts might even not exist, you thought. At the very least, there was no evidence that her nipples did. You watched her in those Percy Jackson movies, but being a series geared at teens or families or whatever the hell the point of it was, you never got to see her character Annabeth Chase nude. You cursed the powers-that-be in Hollywood for robbing you of that pleasure as your balls grew bluer and bluer. You needed to fap to Alexandra Daddario nude pics, but no one was making it happen. How could the film and television industry be so cruel? How could life be so cruel? But then you heard news that perked your pecker up like the head of rodent when a raptor’s cry is heard overhead…

We were going to see Alexandra Daddario nude in Texas Chainsaw 3D. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies are filled with tits and ass, nudity as far as the eye can see, erect nipples protruding out of every surface – bras, shirts, cardboard, steel girders, tungsten monoliths, everything! So obviously – OBVIOUSLY – the one Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie with your favorite actress in the lead role is the one that happens to have not even the tiniest sliver of fucking nudity. Maybe in the years to come, you even read the rumors all over the internet that Alex offered to do the bondage scene where she is tied up topless. You may or may not be into BDSM, but Alexandra’s bare breasts swaying back and forth while her arms are tied over her head would be better fap material than any Playboy issue, even if it featured nothing but the strikingly blue-eyed actress naked from cover to cover.

But alas, you did not get to see Alexandra Daddario topless, not even a glimpse at her exposed ass, in Texas Chainsaw 3D. Maybe you heard as part of the rumors that the nudity decision was vetoed by the film’s director, John Luessenhop. Is that true? Is that untrue? Who fucking knows. One thing we do know is that if nothing else, Luessenhop has spoken at great length about the entire production team’s extensive fetishization of Alexandra Daddario’s belly. Not that he calls it that. No, in the interview, he consistently refers to it as her “stomach” – not only an oddly clinical term, but also not strictly a correct one, referring to her internal organ instead. Maybe John-boy’s spent too much time directing films about serial killers. Incidentally, Texas Chainsaw 3D was the very last film he directed, so maybe he felt the same. Or maybe it was true that he axed the fabled Alexandra Daddario nude scene that was not to be and was never given work again as a result. So much intrigue.

At this stage, you felt that you will never get a look at the mystical but unachievable Alexandra Daddario pussy. I mean, you can’t see her boob, her nip, a private sextape is obviously out of the question, so it is clearly wholly out of the question that you will ever see any part of Alexandra Daddario’s goddess-like body. You resigned yourself to your fate. Maybe that was your spunk-crusted Japanese anime love doll or maybe you fapped to other nude scenes… maybe you even spent some time with your wife or girlfriend. Maybe your relationship even improved without the dark specter of Alexandra Daddario’s eyes – as blue as she makes men’s balls – constantly luring you in for a fap that can never be completed, like a siren’s call to the murky waters where tits are invisible and so is everything else that doesn’t fit into Millennium Films’ “stomach” fetish. But that was to change…

You heard that very soon, we would all finally have those Alexandra Daddario nudes that we’ve craved so hard, not through the benevolence of some fake porn director, but through HBO, who as we know, never let us down with nude scene from Game of Thrones or True Blood. I mean, they totally did, but never in the first season. The first seasons were always Fap City. And Alex was going to be in the first season of HBO’s newest show, True Detective. But wait. You’d been burned before. Was this going to be Texas Chainsaw 3D all over again? You were cautious. Not dismissive, but cautious. You watched the first episode. No nude scenes that you were waiting for. You watched the second episode…

And there it was – a real, proper, true-to-form Alexandra Dadario nude scene. And what a nude scene it was. Not even the Jennifer Lawrence Fappening leaks that opened the floodgates of that phenomenon could overtake the True Detective nude scene as the internet’s favorite piece of celeb nudity. From that very first moment, when her shirt passes over the threshold of her diamond-hard nips, allowing her beautiful breasts to breathe free, unrestrained by the burden of wretched textiles, all the way to the last shot of the scene, when she’s bent over in nothing but a top, lower half completely naked, with Woody Harrelson sniffing or licking out her asshole or whatever the hell he was doing back there while Alex had that predatory expression on her face.

We were even graced with the very first Alexandra Daddario sex scene in that same episode. You mashed furiously as Alex rubbed her completely naked body all over Woody’s woody (and mercifully clothed body). She was even thankful for your efforts, having said in an interview that she finds the attention that fappers have given her scene “very flattering.” That’s right. Alex noticed you. No, not just anyone. Alexandra Daddario noticed you, Mike. She did tell MTV that it was a “huge challenge,” so I hope you’re appreciative of her sacrifice, Mike.

Was that the last time we saw the 8th and 9th wonders of the world that are the fabled Alexandra Daddario tits? Thankfully not. The New York native has done a number of other nude scenes in the years that followed, but have any of them measured up? Your opinion may or may not differ to mine, but my stance is that none of the other have. The True Detective nude scene is one that will live forever in the annals of history as a watershed moment in television nudity. Unfortunately, that high has not been outdone by any of her other efforts, which have been significantly more tame. But hey, she’s young, so there’s time. Now it’s time to unload to what is – as I write – hopefully the clearest, crispest screen captures of Alexandra Daddario naked in True Detective available anywhere.

Johanne Fossheim Naked – Heim – 4K Stream

This week’s expression of high culture is a post about the absolutely gorgeous Johanne Fossheim naked in the short film, Heim. Incidentally, we’re sort of coming full circle with this post, since one of the earliest posts that I did since reviving the Faptuary was also a Norwegian actress. But wait; the circle has another loop. Back in the .net days, I covered another film by director Aleksander Nordaas. That film was Thale. It featured another Norwegian stunner in the buff, but more than that, it was about the very same mythological creature, the Huldra.

For those who are curious, the Huldra is a beautiful forest nymph with an animal’s tail. I’d like to pretend that that doesn’t tingle my loins, but as I reflect, I have covered catgirls and wolfgirls before, so maybe there’s something frightening going on in my subconscious. Or maybe it’s just because these kinds of movies always pick the best-looking actresses for these roles. God knows I fapped myself raw to Silje Reinåmo, who played the huldra in the original film. She also, if memory serves, never wore proper clothes throughout the movie. I’m not entirely sure that that’s part of the mythology, but I am certainly not complaining, especially because…

We see Johanne Fossheim nude in Heim a whole lot more than we saw Silje Reinåmo nude in Thale. I suspect some part of that is due to the latter being a film that has to play in theaters and be rated and everything, whereas the former is a short, which allows for so much more creative freedom. Now, don’t get me wrong; I did love Thale to bits, to the point that it flipped my view on Norwegian cinema, which had been mildly tainted by a very popular Norwegian movie that I had seen that shall not be named but sucked absolute ass. That said, the nudity in Thale was very “artistic.” You know what that means. Low lighting, directional lighting to obscure the naughty bits, tactical camera angles, frustratingly but intentionally positions props… need I go on?

In Heim, not only do we see Johanne Fossheim topless in as clear a shot as anyone can shoot, but we see… well, literally everything. Short of the short including a scene from her colonscopy, there is nothing that is left to the imagination, making this one of the hallowed Faptuary post to hit the holy trifecta of ass, boobs, and pussy. And regarding the last point, it’s all on display. The actress’ pubic hair is short trimmed, so not a full bush, but long enough to be visible, while also being short enough to not obscure anything. Both outer and inner labia are clearly visible in a number of shots. That’s right, gentlemen; the pussy lips are fully on display.

If you want the full experience of watching Johanne Fossheim walk through an enchanted forest as a naked huldra, the director has the full short available on Vimeo, complete with English subtitles so that nothing is missed – not a single word and not a single body part. As always, I remain eternally grateful for the directors of Scandinavian shorts – especially in the context of my recent coverage of the two actresses from the Danish short, Teenland – so here is a selection of shots of Johanne Fossheim naked in Heim.

Florence Welch Naked – The Odyssey – HD Stream

Perhaps having a post about Florence Welch naked is a bit out of character for the Faptuary, but to be fair, I have been branching out a bit, like when I posted the most important moment of Holly Willoughby’s career some time back. This is kind of like that. Like, I’m sure most of you have been in the situation where you’re driving, here a song come on the radio, and say to yourself, “Man, I wish I knew what that singer’s boobs looked like.” Usually those questions go unanswered because unlike actresses, musicians don’t need to get their tits out in music videos…

Unless you’re the lead singer of Florence and the Machine. Yes, it’s true. Their music videos feature shots of Florence Welch nude. I think this kind of thing should take off. God knows music videos have become a bit passé now. The once proud MTV has managed to dip even below its already shite reputation of a channel for lame reality shows to becoming merely a memory that boomers talk about when they’re in the stage of their complaint cycle where they talk about how much greater things used to be. The other stage of their complaint cycle, of course, is talking about how much greater things are now, during which they’ll bring up music videos on demand via YouTube. Yet even YouTube is becoming old-fashioned to zoomers, whose ADHD has reached levels that were previously not believed possible.

Filling music videos with shots of Florence Welch nude could just be the injection of life that the industry needs to bring the medium back to its old splendor. Now, you may be confused as to why this post is about The Odyssey when in fact there is no song of that name by Florence and the Machine. So just to clarify, The Odyssey is a short film that creates a sort of overarching story across five of the band’s songs, namely “What Kind of Man,” “St. Jude,” “Delilah,” “Ship to Wreck,” and “Queen of Peace.” I appreciate that I would normally do a post per feature, but even though these are separate music videos, the clips are so short and spread out, that it would just be silly to do it that way, so I’m treating The Odyssey as a whole. Speaking of which, the full short is available on YouTube if you feel that you would fap to the Florence Welch nude shots better with audio.

There isn’t a high volume of full on shots of Florence Welch naked, but the music video/short movie does have plenty of lewd moments. Those who are aware of Florence and the Machine know that Florence Welch does like to display her diamond hard nipples through her tops as often as she can. So even when there is no nudity in The Odyssey, we get second best. Strangely enough, other than some rumblings at Coachella – and I mean Florence Welch stripping off, not breaking her foot – she is surprisingly dressed in her stage performances. You’d expect, with how lewd this round of music videos is, that she’d do a sort of Courtney-Love-naked-on-stage thing, but sadly not. Maybe soon.

I do want to say, lest anyone should get any false hope, there is no full frontal nudity in The Odyssey, but we do see Florence Welch topless on a few occasions. In one, a man is nuzzling her breasts with his face. In another, she’s lying on her back on a bed but tilted toward the camera for… reasons. Then there are a few moments when there’s sideboob visible, and maybe you’re not quite sure whether you’re seeing a nip or not, but if you freeze frame it at the right time, you definitely are seeing nips. Admittedly, the shots would be better if the angle was more toward the front, but as a long-time sideboob aficionado, I can’t say I disapprove. To not have too lean a post, I’ve padded some lewd shots along with the Florence Welch nude frames below.